Mostly Harmless - Colin
'Mr Prefect, sir! I'm so happy to see you!'
44
The robot rapidly reported back to its central control that everything was now for the best in this best of all possible worlds.
44
The little robot was gurgling with electric delight. Ford hurried down the corridor, letting the thing bob along in his wake telling him how delicious everything was, and how happy it was to be able to tell him that.
44
'What's been happening here?' he demanded.
'Oh just the nicest things, sir, just the nicest possible things. Can I sit on your lap, please?'
'No,' said Ford, brushing the thing away. It was overjoyed to be spurned in this way and started to bob and burble and swoon. Ford grabbed it again and stuck it firmly in the air a foot in front on his face. It tried to stay where it was put but couldn't help quivering slightly.
'Something's changed, hasn't it?' Ford hissed.
'Oh yes,' squealed the little robot, 'in the most fabulous and wonderful way. I feel so good about it.'
'Well what was it like before, then?'
'Scrumptious.'
'But you like the way its changed?' demanded Ford.
'I like everything,' moaned the robot. 'Especially when you shout at me like that. Do it again, please.'
'Just tell me what's happened!'
'Oh thank you, thank you!'
Ford sighed.
'OK, OK,' panted the robot. 'The Guide has been taken over. There's a new management. It is all so gorgeous I could just melt. The old management was also fabulous of course, though I'm not sure if I thought so at the time.'
'That was before you had a bit of wire stuck in your head.'
'How true. How wonderfully true. How wonderfully, bubblingly, frothingly, burstingly true. What a truly ecstasy-inducing correct observation.'
'What's happened?' insisted Ford. 'Who is this new management? When did they take over? I… oh, never mind,' he added as the little robot started to gibber with uncontrollable joy and rub itself against his knee. 'I'll go and find out for myself.'
45-46
'Hey!' he shouted to the little melon-sized robot still slobbering with euphoria up on the ceiling. 'You want to stay happy?'
The robot gurgled that it did.
'Then stick with me and do everything that I tell you to do without fail.'
The robot said that it was quite happy where it was thank you very much. It had never realised before how much sheer titillation there was to be got from a good ceiling and it wanted to explore its feelings about ceilings in greater depth.
'You stay there,' said Ford, 'and you'll soon be recaptured and have your conditional chip replaced. You want to stay happy, come now.'
The robot let out a long heartfelt sigh of impassioned tristesse and sank reluctantly away from the ceiling.
51-52
'Listen,' said Ford, 'can you keep the rest of the security system happy for a few minutes?'
'One of the joys of true happiness,' trilled the robot, 'is sharing. I brim, I forth, I overflow with…'
52
Colin bobbed up beside him. Colin was enjoying the ride down immensely and hoped that Ford was, too.
Colin's world went unexpectedly dark as Ford's towel suddenly enveloped him. Colin immediately felt himself get much, much heavier. He was trilled and delighted by the challenge that Ford and presented him with. Just not sure is he could handle it, that was all.
97
