I hate this world it is a cruel place and I don't wish to be here any longer. I thought that everything was supposed to turn out right but why would it? It never has before why would anything ever go the right way? Nobody knows the pain I am feeling, nobody can understand the pain I am going through and nobody can understand me. Why am I so different? Why can't I just have a normal happy life just like everyone else? Why does my life have to be so screwed up that I can't even stand to wake up in the mornings and the first thing that I think is that I wish it would all end because I HATE THIS WORLD so much. I thought that I had something to look forward to and just when I place all of my trust in those things they are taken away and I have nowhere to go, nothing to look forward to in life. The only thing that I look forward to is getting finished with my life. I used to look forward to having children but children I will not have. For nobody in their right mind would love me because I am so different that would be insane. I have learned a new lesson in the past few months that lesson is that I will never trust ANYONE EVER AGAIN I HATE THE WORLD. I also learned to never fall in love because whenever you fall in love it NEVER works out they always get sick of you or they always get scared or they always get the wrong advice I HATE THIS WORLD. I used to think that I was happy but I now know that I will never be happy why would that happen? That would be crazy why would I ever be happy? I have never been truly honestly happy and I have never had a reason even though at times it seemed nothing could get better it was always just an illusion. This whole life is just an illusion. Nothing good will ever come to me I am always the butt of the joke. I am always the middle man. I am never the one who comes out alright even though I put on this huge act that I am so happy life couldn't be better it is all just a big load of crap. I HATE MY LIFE. I'm sorry that I bothered you with my problems because I know you probably never even cared and if you did it would be the first time anybody has ever cared about my problems. All I am is a burden to this world just another useless life form, just more dead weight, just another space user. This letter isn't directed at anyone in particular it is just the way I feel and I finally had to get it out. Not to worry, if this put off the impression that I am thinking about suicide don't worry I would never do that, that is the worst thing I could do right now because then I would just be in a place even worse than this cruel World that I HATE so much. 12/10/00 Well as you can see from above I have been having a rough life lately but things are starting to look up. The day approaches 01/01/01 what a day it will be the new millenium for Help Me RPG and =ASh='s Midgar it will be great day for the whole RPG World. Well here at Help Me RPG we the RPGuru's Pledge to help you help yourselves with RPG's so I =ASh= will be setting up some walkthrus and some new reviews and I am currently working on a new review format so that should be one thing to look forward to in the new millenium.
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