Since it has now been decided that I shall use this page to vent my feelings in a sort of journal entry form, I have renamed all of the files to include the dates when the page was written. Suffice it to say they are fairly accurate. Today being Sunday, a most relaxing day, allows me to write with a more relaxed style. Because this has been established as a journal, some of the style is lost but I shall try to write with my original form. Yesterday was an awesome day of skiing followed by the usual slow day of work at McDonalds. I wonder if people percieve me as the typical McDonalds worker. To establish a basis, I only work there to afford my skiing habit. Otherwise I would go get a real job that involves money and normal hours. They all look at me like I am some kind of freak. Anyway, enough about McDonalds.

My anger of Friday has mostly gone away, because of time and the fact that I actually like her too much to allow myself to ruin something. I am still mad at Stephanie Prather but that is because she deserves it. The truth is that I want people to force me to do stuff. Its kinda hard to explain. I want to be with her so bad, but I simply cannot force myself to do what is necessary for such a requirement. I called her house on Friday night at 9:00 P.M. but no one answered. It took me over one hour to dial her number which is extremely pathetic. Which brings me to the topic of the day.

The Top Reasons Why I Am PATHETIC



1. Any single guy that takes over one hour to call a girl is obviously pathetic beyond help.

2. To add to that is the fact that she already knows I like her and I have already called her twice.

3. A senior in high school that is going for a shy sophomore girl that has never dated and would be too shy to anyway. Enough said about that one.

4. My social life has dropped to sub-zero temperatures. I recently began to tutor mathematics for some middle school students. Most teachers never thought they were going to be teachers when they were in high school. What about the ones who are already teachers in high school? About all my brains will ever account for is a sub $30,000 teaching salary at a less-than-respected high school. That is simply not what I want out of life.

5. I decided to not play soccor this year which has shoved my athletic state into more sub-zero temperatures. I play on our Jr. Jazz team but in our debut game, I only scored two points in our first loss. I simply don't have the aggressiveness to participate in athletics. It's not that I don't have the skill to play, when I play Ultimate Frisbee with my friends, I am one of the better players scoring many points. But when I play with other people, I cannot play much at all and my attitude forces me to leave the game in a fit. It was my attitude that caused me to get kicked out of that soccer practice last year and it continues to bring me down.

6. 6'2" 145 pounds I haven't gained any weight since the beginning of middle school. Pretty pathetic.

Before my criticism of myself gets out of hand I better finish this list. Suffice it to say that I am not satisfied with some of the factors in my life.