Bad Joke Man

vs.

The evil scientist who is evil just because he wants to be

by Chris Dreyer

NOTE: I know that this story is riddled with grammatical errors and such, but just ignore them, as I did write this several years ago.

One day, an evil scientist who is evil just because he wants to be replaced Fran Mann's miracle growth gardening formula with mega grow growth formula, just because he wanted to. She sprinkled some on the tomato plant. It grew, and grew, and grew some more. Then a face appeared. "Ahhhhhhhhh!" Fran screamed right before she fainted. The tomato was trying to figure out what had happened to him, because now he could see. Several minutes later, arms and legs sprouted out. He looked at them, and soon he figured out how to walk. He danced around, and ran around the block three times, and then fell asleep. Just then, the evil scientist who is evil just because he wants to be crept up and captured the tomato. He took him to his laboratory, and put a special computer chip into his head. Now the evil scientist who is evil just because he wants to be had complete control over him! Now the fate of our hero is in the hands of the bad guy! Now the tomato is a slave of the bad guy! Now . . .

"Hey will you stop that and get on with the story?" Okay, okay. The evil scientist who is evil just because he wants to be had a remote control to control the tomato.* Bad Joke Man heard of this, and he and Super Herbie brain stormed ideas to stop the evil scientist who is evil just because he wants to be.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm . . ."

"We could squash him in our garage." Herbie suggested.

"Nah. Too messy."

"We could toss him into space."

"Too time-consuming."

"We could trap him in a bakery."

"What's the point in that idea? Hey, I know! We could arrest him!"

"Where's the fun there?"

"We could make a trap."

"Hey, good thinking!" Now they needed ideas how to make the trap.

“Ssspt sspt sppt . . ."

“Yeah, and 5 = 1 + 4!" Herbie said.

“What did that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing, I was just trying to sound intellectual." So now they had the plan, but they also needed materials, and to get the materials, they needed money, and to get money, they needed to -gulp- work! So now, they were figuring out how to get some money.

“Let's sell our car!" Herbie suggested.

“But we don't have a car!"

'Hmmmmmmmm."

“I know!"

“What,what?”

“I forgot.” Suddenly, it hit BJ like a ton of bricks. When he regained consciousness, he told Herbie the plan. “We'll sell my pumpkin!"

“Huh?.

“My 1,324,564,988,000 pound pumpkin, of course."

“I didn't know you even had a pumpkin that big."

“I made one yesterday.”

“Out of what?"

"Does it really matter?”

"Yes.”

"Okay, l made it out of Paper Mache."

"You what?!"

"I made a 1,324,564,988,000 pound pumpkin out of Paper Mache."

"You what?!"

"I said-"

"No, why?"

"Well, why not?"

"How much are you selling it for?"

"One hundred bucks."

"A hundred bucks?"

"Yea, a hundred bucks."

"Works for me!" So they sold the pumpkin, got the hundred bucks, and bought the supplies for the trap. They built the trap, and devised a harebrained scheme to lure the evil scientist who is evil just because he wants to be into the trap. BJ changed into Bad Joke Man, and called the evil scientist who is evil just because he wants to be on the phone.

"Hello, is Mr. Evil scientist who is evil just because he wants to be there?"

"Speaking."

"Well, l think you're a stupid head!"

"Who is this?"

"Bad Joke Man, 703 NE Evergreen Drive, Manhattan, NY"

"Hang on, let me get a pen."

The evil scientist who is evil just because he wants to be snuck into the Mann family garage. Then he fell down a greased chute. He went up and down until he finally fell into the jail. The evil scientist who is evil just because he wants to be was finally captured! But now came the problem of capturing the tomato. That was easy, because all that Bad Joke man had to do was take the special computer chip, and sell the tomato to Papa Mia for the world's biggest pizza. The tomato was happy because this was his purpose, to be made into a pizza.*** The city was safe**** because of Bad Joke Man!*****

*Dum dum dum!**

**Exiting music!

***The world's biggest pizza, for that matter.

****And definitely not hungry!

*****And the world's biggest pizza.******

******And a 1,324,564,988,000 pound pumpkin made out of Paper Mache.