"So what are we doing here?" Alice looked around Megavolt's messy apartment.
The various appliances, most broken, were certainly interesting, but completely beyond her comprehension.
"Recharging," Megavolt answered, shoving a large plug into the socket on the front of his battery device. "And getting that." He pointed to a CD player that had obviously been tampered with.
"What's that?" Alice inspected it curiously. There was a computer keyboard hooked up to it.
"It's a music machine. You type in the name of a song and it only plays the music without the voices."
"A karaoke machine," Alice said. "What are we going to do with it?"
Megavolt grinned. "Remember how we used to make up funny lyrics to songs?"
Alice was beginning to understand. "Oh, that is good… that is **very** good…"
Megavolt joined her beside the machine, his hat giving off a bluish electrical glow. "I love the smell of voltage in the evening!" he said. "Let's see if this thing still works."
Now recharged, Megavolt easily zapped the home-made karaoke machine to life. "Pick a song, any song," he chattered happily.
"Let it Be" Alice said. Megavolt typed in the song.
"Still into the classics, I see," he said. "Good taste. You always had good taste."
The machine clicked, whirred, and miraculously the music began to play.
"All-RIIIGHT!!" Megavolt slapped Alice a high-five. Or four in this case.
He began to sing along.
"When I find myself in times of trouble, Alice Marten comes to me, speaking words of wisdom: Follow me! Wherever we are going, she is running right in front of me, yelling words of wisdom: Follow me! CHORUS!! Follow me! Follow me! Follow meee-eee, follow me!! Shouting words of wisdom: Follow me!!"
Megavolt pushed the stop button and the two of them laughed. "That's great, Sputterspark!" Alice said.
"You'll help me with my plan, then?"
Alice nodded. "Oh yeah. I wouldn't pass up a chance like this if you **paid** me!"
Megavolt scooped up the karaoke machine. "I'll direct you to our hideout," he said. "But you have to promise not to tell anyone where it is."
"No problem," Alice said.
They reached the run-down old building in no time. As they snuck past the window, Megavolt glanced in. His three companions were still sitting, bored out of their skulls. Only they had rotated seating positions. Quackerjack was in the fish tank, Liquidator was in Bushroot's giant 100% organic flower chair, and Bushroot was hanging upside-down from the pipes.
"This is gonna be soooo good," Alice whispered as they snuck inside.
"You know the plan?" Megavolt asked, pausing at the door to their main room.
Alice gave him a thumbs up signal. "I got it if you do, Sputterspark."
"Good."
Alice scampered off to the building's large auditorium with the karaoke machine. Megavolt opened the door and strolled in. The other three looked up to him.
"Well look who's back!" Quackerjack exclaimed. "Sparky!" He giggled manically.
"Well I think you should be nicer to me," Megavolt said, "Considering the fact that I've found us some entertainment."
They all visibly perked up at the mention of entertainment. "Where is it?" Bushroot asked.
"She," Megavolt corrected.
"SHE?!" the other three exclaimed in unison.
"Megs, you old devil," Bushroot said, grinning.
"Yes, **she** is waiting in the auditorium." Megavolt stepped aside as three blurs of color shot past him in the direction of the aforementioned room. Megavolt followed. He found the trio of villains seated in the front row and eagerly awaiting the show.
"So where is she?" Liquidator called to Megavolt as he entered.
"Yeah, all I see is that weird-looking CD player. Don't tell me THAT'S our she!"
Quackerjack groaned. "That would be typical. A ma-SHEn. Get it?"
Bushroot and Liquidator groaned. Megavolt climbed onto the stage.
"It just so happens, this ISN'T her." He stuck his tongue out at the audience. "She's backstage, preparing for the show. This is our music maker. She'll be out in a minute."
"So who is this lovely maiden?" Bushroot asked, his eyes bright.
"Oh… an old friend of mine. You'll see." He typed in some instructions to the karaoke machine and ran backstage.
Quackerjack, Liquidator, and Bushroot waited eagerly. Entertainment was good, but female companionship was even better. "Maybe we should apologize to Megsie later," Bushroot said. The other two nodded, their eyes glued to the stage.
The machine made a quiet clicking noise, then music from a low base began to play. The song sounded vaguely familiar. It was not until about a minute later when they recognized it. A distinctly female voice sang out over the theatre: "You had plenty money nineteen twenty-two… You wouldn't be a'wanderin' now from door to door. Why don't you do right like some other men do?"
"Jessica Rabbit is a friend of his?!" Quackerjack said. "He's gotta introduce me to his circle!"
The song continued a few more notes, then changed abruptly. The same voice continued: "What would you think if I sang out a tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song, and I'll try not to sing out of key!" Alice and Megavolt swung down from opposite sides of the stage.

[Author's note: For the sake of making this scene less awkward to write and read, the rest will be done script-style. I'll note which song I'm parodying and character actions in brackets, the way I'm doing this note.]

["Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba]

Both:
We get knocked down, but we get up again!
You're never gonna keep us down!
We'll be singing when we're winning
We'll be singing…

[ALICE and MEGAVOLT stand back-to-back, their hands in a praying position. Song: "Come Sail Away" by Styx]

ALICE:
I look to the sea.
Reflections in the waves spark my memory.
Some happy, some sad,
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had.

[drum solo. ALICE and MEGAVOLT twirl around and resume position facing each other]

MEGAVOLT:
A gathering of light bulbs
Appeared above my head!
I listened to their words, whoa yeah,
And this is what they said:

BOTH:
They said, Come karaoke, come karaoke,
Sing along tonight!
Come karaoke, come karaoke,
Sing along tonight!!

[ad lib dance/acting thing going on. Song: "Ghostbusters"]

MEGAVOLT:
If there's something green in the neighborhood,
Who you gonna call?

ALICE:
Bushbusters!!

MEGAVOLT:
If there's something wet and it don't look good,
Who you gonna call?

ALICE:
Liquid-busters!!

[she cackles manically for effect. LIQUIDATOR shudders. Song: "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing"]

MEGAVOLT: [as ALICE hums harmony in the background]
I've been kept awake just to hear you snoring!
[glares at QUACKY]
Hear you giggle when you're sleeping,
Wish I was far away, or dreaming.
I could spend my life to get you to surrender,
But you're lost to such logic forever!
Every moment away is a moment I treasure!

BOTH:
I wish I could close my eyes!
I wish I could fall asleep,
But you're noisy, duck!
And pretty soon you'll be out of luck!
'Cause even when I flee from you,
The thickest walls will never do,
You're still noisy, duck!
Pretty soon you'll be out of luck!

[ALICE runs off stage. The audience stares, shocked. Song: "I Will Survive"]

MEGAVOLT: [doing sarcastic dramatic motions]
At first I was afraid-I was petrified!
Kept thinkin' you could never live
Without me by your side.
But then I spent so many nights
Thinking how you did me wrong,
And I grew strong. I learned how to get along!

[ALICE runs back on. She is dressed to look like NEGADUCK and is dragging a wagon upon which three SCARECROWS are mounted, one for each of the audience members. The likeness is almost frightening. MEGAVOLT addresses NEGA-ALICE and the SCARECROWS]

Megavolt:
And so you're back from outer space!
I just walked in to find you here with those bored
looks upon your faces.
I should have fried your stupid hat,
[zaps the QUACKY SCARECROW's hat]
I should have pruned your stupid roots
[zaps BUSHY SCARECROW's mount]
And as for water boy and Negs, I should have given you the boot!
[pretends to kick NEGA-ALICE. She takes the wagon and rushes off stage in mock fear]

You told me: Go! Walk out the door!
Just turn around now,
'Cause you're not welcome any more!
[ALICE returns in DARKWING costume]
Weren't you the one who tried to beat me? HA! Good-bye!
[takes out zapper gun. DARKWING ALICE cowers on the floor]
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
OH NO NOT I!!!
[DARKWING ALICE runs off stage]
I will survive!!!
As long as I know how to zap, I know I'll stay alive!
[what a dance he's doing!]
I've got all those banks to rob,
And then perhaps I'll get a job,
And I'll survive!
I will survive!
Hey hey!

[ALICE comes back and twirls to MEGAVOLT's side. Song: "Poetry in Motion" by Paul Kaufman/Mike Anthony]

ALICE:
When I see my Quacky, what do I see?
Poultry! Poultry in motion!
Poultry in motion prancing by my side!
Suspicious locomotion keeps my eyes open wide!

MEGAVOLT:
Poultry in motion, see the gentle sway
A fern out on a treetop would be Bushy's way.
I hate every movement, despise that rearranged
Duck in much need of improvement, Mr Bushy von Deranged!

[ALICE grabs two canes which are conveniently sitting nearby. She tosses one to MEGAVOLT and they dance with them. Song: "Mrs. Robinson" by Simon & Garfunkle]

BOTH:
Here's to you, Liquidator man.
Darkwing loves you more than you will know.
Whoa-whoa-whoa.
God bless your fleas, Liquidator man,
Heaven holds a place for them some day.
Hey-hey-hey… hey-hey-hey!

[MEGAVOLT pretends to be a drowning flea. BOTH toss their canes off stage. Song: "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely" by the Backstreet Boys]

ALICE:
Show me the meaning of being Quacky!
Is this the feeling of being wacky?
Tell me, just how old do you think you are??
Somewhere you missed something by far.

[Song: "The Sound of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkle]

MEGAVOLT:
Hello, Bushroot, my old friend.
Is fertilizer now a trend?
I see your leaves are turning slowly brown.
And did you think you'd take your date to town?
Just imagine, would your kids be white or green,
Or in between?
Would they know the sounds of Shakespeare?
[He poses and recites as ALICE keeps humming the music]
[spoken]
Hast thou not a green thumb, ye wily yak? And art thou not green everywhere else?
[he looks to QUACKY]
Dost thou not speak to thine own hand as if 'twere a Banana Head?
[and to LIQUIDATOR]
And thou fair fool! Thou art all wet!

[he proceeds to insult them in Shakespearian for several more minutes, then ALICE stops humming and he music changes! Song: "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shaniah Twain]

ALICE:
I know a few guys who think they're pretty smart.
You all have idiocy down to an art.

MEGAVOLT:
You may think you're geniuses, but that ain't it at all!
Your regular incompetence just drives me up the wall!

BOTH:
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special!
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else!

ALICE:
Okay, so you're supervillians.
That don't impress us much. [MEGAVOLT does the "ah-ah-awoo" thing]
So you've got the powers! Do you have the touch?

MEGAVOLT:
Now don't get us wrong, yeah we think you're all jerks.
But that won't keep you safe from the Darkwing Duck that lurks,
That don't impress us much!

BOTH:
Ah-ah-awoo!

[The music stops. ALICE and MEGAVOLT pose center stage with their arms crossed, quite literally looking down upon their audience. The latter is speechless, trying to decide what to make of the situation. The WRITER switches back to story-style.]

Ah, that's better. Anyway… The sound of applause suddenly drifted from the back of the theatre. All eyes darted instinctively to the source of the sound. They were dismayed to see none other than Negaduck strolling down the center isle.
"Impressive! Very impressive!" he said, smiling devilishly. "What a splendid plan of revenge! You may make a good villain yet, Sparky." Negaduck hopped onto the stage. The audience now cowered before him. He glared at them, then pointed to the doors. "OUT!"
They were gone in a flash. Megavolt grabbed Alice's hand and was about to follow, but Negaduck stopped them. "Wait just a moment, Sparky!"
Megavolt turned, cringing with fear. "Yes, boss?" he said timidly.
"Aren't you going to introduce me to your lady friend?" He smiled at Alice.
"Oh! This is Alice Marten. She and I have been friends for a long time."
Negaduck took Alice's hand and kissed it. "Charmed," he said suavely.
Alice nodded in return.
"A pleasure, I'm sure," she answered politely. Negaduck straightened up, his attention turned to Megavolt. "This is one of the finest schemes I've seen you pull off, Sparky," he said, meaning every word but keeping a harsh tone. "Keep it up."
With that, he turned and marched right back out the way he came, presumably to continue chewing out the other three.
When he had gone, Alice turned to Megavolt.
"**What** was that guy??" she demanded.
"Negaduck. Our boss."
"Eeeeewww… Thinks he's good with we females, doesn't he?"
Megavolt nodded. "I think he pays the ones that go with him."
"He'd have to," Alice agreed. They stood in silence a moment, then Alice said, chuckling, "That **was** a pretty good scheme we pulled off."
"Yeah. Did you see the look on Liquidator's face when we started singing about his fleas?? That was great!!" They both laughed, remembering the performance.
Alice glanced at her watch. "It's getting late," she said. "I'd better get back home, or that guy who lives across the hall from me will call my mother and tell her I'm out 'fooling around' again."
"Oh alright, but wait a minute, I've got one more song… **Our** song."
Megavolt typed some instructions into the machine, and a familiar tune came flowing out in flute and piano. ["That's What Friends Are For"] Megavolt began:
"And I never thought I'd feel this way, and as far as I'm concerned I'm glad I've had the chance to say that I do believe I love you."
Alice continued. "And if I should ever go away, well then close your eyes and try to feel the way I do today, and then if you can remember,"
Megavolt joined in, and they sang the chorus of their song together.
"Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me. For sure. That's what friends are for. For good times, and bad times, I'll be on your side forever more. That's what friends are for!"
Alice hugged her friend as the music faded. "Sputterspark, you're somethin' else."
"Alice," he answered, "You are too. You're my best friend."
"And you're mine," she said. "Tales of Wonderland are told 'til the fire burns down to a sparky ember. But after your fairy tales grow old, I'll be the Alice to remember. Good night, Sputterspark."
"Good night, Alice." Megavolt watched as Alice grabbed her sketchbook from the top of the karaoke machine and scuttled out the door. Tomorrow, he thought to himself, was another night for scheming.