Teasing, Bullying, and other types of shit that goes on in schools.

I have never been able to figure out why people pick on and tease each other. Is it really that big deal if someone dresses differently or looks differently? Why the hell does it matter if someone is too thin or too fat? Too tall or too short? Last time I checked we were all human beings.

Whether or not it is actually the differences that is the reason for the teasing and bullying is debatable. I don't think the differences make much of a difference. They are just things to pick to tease someone about. The reason is more that perhaps the person being teased is quiet, shy, and not the type that is going to be defiant or speak back to the bully. Or else perhaps the bully just wants to get a rise out of someone and knows if they push, it will happen.

The reason could be more personal. Someone could feel self-conscious about what they look like or where they live or what not. Teasing someone else is a way of making themselves feel better, perhaps. That person has what the bully wishes he or she had and picks on them to make themselves feel better.

Sometimes the bully isn't even the big problem. Speaking from personal experience, it can easily be the parents. While in middle school, I encountered a girl who's parents would do anything to see that their daughter was the most popular in the class. She was in sports, and dance classes. Her dad was (and still is actually) a manager at a popular food chain and he used that to it's fullest bringing free food for the class. This led to a time in which I was accused of copying what she did because I decided to bring in pizza for my class to celebrate my birthday which is in the middle of the summer. I never got to celebrate at school like everyone else so I had pizza for everyone one day. Somehow this girl thought I copied off her idea. which is untrue. The two events actually happened many months apart.

In another occurrence, flowers were brought in (the family also runs a flower shop, actually named after the girl in my class) for everyone. The boys all got boutonnières and all the girls got a flower. Well, not everyone did. Myself and two other girls did not get flowers. The parents of one of those girls and my own parents were very upset at this and the principal made it a rule that nothing could be brought in anymore.  

I had a best friend during middle school. We were great friends until she suddenly told me a story that I still am unsure how true it is and said she could no longer be my friend. This was at the end of 8th grade.

The first week of high school, me and both my best friend from middle and the girl who's father wanted her to be popular ate lunch together. My mom, unaware of what would happen, mentioned this to the girl's mother and how nice it was were all eating together. Starting the very next day, I never spoke nor had lunch with that girl again.

It is sad that this girls parents acted this way. I think the girl could be a very nice girl and a good friend otherwise. In fact, in the 5th grade we actually were good friends. Then it all went downhill after that.

Sometimes I wish there could be a day where all the bully's are sent to one high school under false pretenses. Everyone else at this one high school are in on a plan to make them see what they are doing to other kids. During one day, the bullies are subjected to what they do to kids everyday. Perhaps it would not make a difference, but I would hope it would make them see how they make others feel and how they, themselves, look while teasing someone else. Perhaps it could even prevent yet another school shooting.

Overcoming and dealing with being bullied is difficult. I was teased in middle school and to an extent, in high school. I have since graduated from college and will soon turn 24 years old. I made it through, but it was 2 years after high school before I was able to completely let it all go. Certain things stayed with me for awhile. I was afraid of being rejected by people so I was very afraid to ask to sit with someone at lunch or anything. For a long time, It was difficult for me to tell if what someone was saying a joke or not. I have changed a lot since that time. Rejection still is a slight problem with me, but asking to sit with someone and things like that no longer bother me. Knowing when someone is joking or not also has greatly improved. I don't automatically jump to the conclusion that they are making fun of me anymore.

Something that really helped me let go is that I realized one day that I forgave my bully. The bully I am referring too is a girl that picked on me off and on throughout high school. I was sitting on the computer one day and just realized that I had forgiven her for what she did to me. A peacefulness went through me and I immediately felt better. I also wrote a poem that day. In it, I got all my feelings out and stated that 'I won' and I did win. I didn't let the teasing control my life. It's in the past I am past it. Those feelings don't control me anymore. They shouldn't control you either.

Every day it comes full force
Killing me in every way it can.
Slamming me, bashing me,
Not even caring.

Its ruthless ways
Are done without guilt.
Its laughter echoes in my ears
As I try to turn away, to run away,
To get away.

Tears come too fast to swallow,
I feel like something
That should be thrown away;
Discarded, left to suffer alone,
In darkness and shame.

It tries to conger, to win,
To completely tear me apart.
But I gain my strength and fight it hard.
I am proud to say I won