2. Life is a poor reason to survive.
3. Life is a massive orgy.
4. Life is like a box of chocolates...a aphrodisiac.
5. Life is what you make of it.
6. Don't let the batteries run out before your done.
7. Love is the meaning of life.
8. Love is a line that leads to sex.
9. There is a difference between love and lust.
10. "I do" really mean I don't have to anymore.
11. Sex is a trap.
12. Sex can lead to love...parental love.
13. Bullshit is just that shit.
14. Lying to yourself doesn't work you always know the truth.
15. There is a difference between sex and making love.
16. If you can't dazzle them with brains...baffle them with bullshit.
17. Everyone has a brain some just choose to not use it.
18. Everyone has a dick...women just marry theirs.
19. Excuses are like assholes...every ones got one and they all stink.
20. Reality does bite.
21. But if you bite back you make it through.
22. Reality is the perception you have.
23. Everyone loves Raymond.
24. Most women have two assholes...one they send to work.
25. one persons asshole is another ones true love.
26. Virginity is like a balloon...one prick all gone.
27. You can pick your nose..you can pick your friends..but in most cases you can't pick your friends nose.
28. You cannot choose who to love.
29. You cannot make yourself love someone or make someone love you.
30. Love is like oxygen get too much-get to high...not enough your gonna die.
31. They are just boobs.
32. They are more than just boobs.
33. Always slap ham.
34. Lost love is not the end of the world sometimes it just the beginning.
35. I would have sex with myself..but by the time its hard its too hard to bend.
36. Its better to have sex with someone else.
37. Do it yourself and save.
38. Do it yourself and guarantee your satisfaction.
39. Do it yourself and its done right...or left depending.
40. Someones lost love is someone elses treasure.
41. True love will conquer all.
42. We are all the same height laying down.
43. Its all pink on the inside.
44. Its not the size of the boat...its the motion of the ocean.
45. Its not the type of bait..its how you wiggle your worm.
46. Its all a lie to make a small man feel big.
47. Size does matter.
48. Cause not matter how you wiggle it 2 inches ain't rockin no ocean.
49. Its all mind over matter..If you don't mind it, it doesn't matter.
50. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
51. A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
52. Looks are an illusion that fades in time.
53. If you let it build up your head will explode.
54. Your only as attractive as your personality.
55. A nice body is not a good personality.
56. We are like hamsters..running in a wheel going nowhere fast.
57. But we can all get off the wheel with help.
58. Hairy palms is a falsie just like a celibate man.
59. We can all get off with the help of our friends.
60. All of us have friends that will lend a helping hand or two.
61. Sunshine through my window makes me happy..so does a horny man.
62. You must think outside the box.
63. Its a rough journey finding someone to love you the way you want them to.
64. People suck...some more literally than others.
65. Some better than others.
66. Its all in the breathing.
67. Keep it between the lines...stay away from clitches and bitches.
68. Happiness can be achieved.
69. In life its not always better to give than receive.
70. Too much generosity can be a bad thing.
71. Swallow and spit is the difference between love and lust.
72. Real woman swallow girls spit.
73. Gentlemen give warnings.
74. There are no gentlemen left in the world under 70.
75. There are no gentlemen left..they are all taken or gay.
76. Hopeless hope is still hope.
77. Deep down all grown men are babies who need their mommies!
78. Men are stupid.
79. I may be cheap but I'm not easy!
80. I'm easy but not cheap!
81. A cute ass will only get you so far in life.
82. You can only get so far up in a cute ass.
83. Only love can set you free but it can also in prison you for life.
84. You can't buy love...you can buy a lover.
85. There is no joy like a Big Butt Boy.
86. You may be able to beat me up...but will you beat me off?
87. Do unto others is just as fun as doing unto yourself.
88. Love yourself hard and often.
89. Can I have fries with that shake?
90. Let the red wings fly.
91. Life everyday like it is the best in you life.
92. Truly believe in Karma it will make your life great.
93. Live life to its fullest and never let the little things bother you.(unless the little things in your pants)
94. From zero to hero in 2 strokes or 2 min.
95. From hero to zero in the same time.
96. Smiling will not hurt you it will make you a happier person.
97. Brain farts don't smell...depending on where your brain is.
98. Beware of toothpicks in urinals...crabs can pole-vault.
99. What do old people smell like?....Depends.
100.It's shake and bake and I helped.
