GAY VIDEO OF THE WEEK!
GAY VIDEO OF THE WEEK
This here is a little section I like to call "gay video of the week." Like many of you, I sometimes find myself glued to the tv and watching music videos for no apparant reason. More often than not, the music video is so lame and gay that I just have to tell the world about it. So, without further ado...
AFI - Silver And Cold (01-24-04)
I remember being 15 and rocking out hard to this great punk rock band called AFI. They were fast and full of rage and I could definately relate. Jump 5 years ahead. I'm sitting in my car, wondering when a good song will actually be played on the radio, when all of a sudden I hear something that sucks so much that I actually take notice of it over the rest of the suckyness. (I love run on sentences...they're cooler than AFI) When the song ends I here the old, but trying desperately to be young and cool, DJ say that the gay ass song I just heard was AFI. No! It can't be! The AFI I remember was cool and full of aggression! Oh boy, was I wrong. It seems that AFI has turned into a pussy goth band, and this new video proves that very fact. The video starts off with a band member stirring some wimpy cream into some coffee. That in itself is gay. You'd never catch John Wayne (the model of all straightness) putting cream into his coffee. Hell no! Then we cut to the singer...he closes his eyes and sighs. The main body of the video consists of the lead singer, with his woman like long died black hair, standing on the edge of a bridge being very sad and "apparently" on the brink of suicide. Awwwwww, poor guy. It seems that fame, riches, and talent just don't sit right with him. He's got a lot of makeup on as he sings his song with that sorrowful "please slap the shit out of me" look on his face while at the same time throwing various personal things (scarf, watch, etc.) into the water to "clense" himself. At one point he even happens to look into the camera and blink IN SINC with the fucking music! How gay is that!? The music, by the way, is very slow and boring, unlike the early AFI material that I remember. As he sings his buddies (or homosexual lovers, if you will) somehow realize he's about to commit suicide and make a mad dash to the bridge to save their beloved friend (lover). Even though they're rich rockstars, they don't have a car so they have to steal one from some random guy. I wish a bunch of scarf wearing, feathered back hair faeries would try to hijack me! Oh man, talk about fun. Anyway, back to them and their race to save their buddy. They actually get in such a hurry that they crash into a truck and all die in a fiery explosion. Instead of jumping off the bridge and singing his sucky ass song at 500 feet below sea level like we'd all love to see happen, the lead singer gives the camera a sly little "did I do that?" look. He then steps off the bridge and walks down the road with new resolve...as his butt-pirating pals burn to a crisp in the car. The end. It's so gay that it's almost straight. Almost. To make matters worse the real members of the bands...AKA the gay lovers...actually try to act out these scenes. If you're a musician and you have no acting talent then PLEASE DON'T TRY TO ACT! You just come off looking as dumb as you really are. We all know that the new AFI is homosexual, but do they really need to prove this by acting out their homosexuality on screen? I don't think so and that's why I consider this the GAY VIDEO OF THE WEEK!
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