Life Digest: The Official Digest of Life
Vol 1., No.1 

Certificate of Intensity Given to Local Lamp</br>

“This lamp is intense,” says local writer Pete. "It 
stares in my eyes with its bold eye no matter where I'm
seated, it seems." With a see-through base and 
chrome-meets-black metal look, the lamp's image is 
meant to intimidate as much as its bold eye. 
And intimidate it does. Casting shadows as stark as the
Martian landscape, this lamp earns its Certificate of 
Intensity and then some. Says Pete, "Sometimes I just don't turn it on."

Car Permitted Last Night

A dazzling silver permit hangs from the rearview mirror
of Pete's car, outside his house, he reports. "The 
permit is good for one night -- namely last night -- 
and I have to go take care of things," says the young 
man, "so that [the car] is permitted to park during the
day." 

Car Permitted Today

"The car is permitted today," Pete reports. "I put the 
day permit on the dashboard and took down the sign from
last night."

Editorial: Dashboard permits part of Conspiracy by 
Police

The police department mandates that the permits be hung
from the rearview mirror, yet it is illegal under 
California law to drive with anything hanging from the 
rearview mirror. That seems to this editor like an 
abuse of our sanity. Added to the fact that permits are
needed for daytime parking, the need to remove your 
nighttime permit each day and replace it each night, 
with a new date scratched out, will drive drivers 
batty.

Classifieds

For Sale: All the crap in the room next to my garage. 
Except my mom's wedding dress. I need the space and 
that dress gives the room some aura.