Life Digest: The Official Digest of Life
Vol.1 N.3 - Feb. 1, 2004

Red Asfault Rocks

Cupertino saw its socks rocked off Saturday night with 
the rocking music of several local bands, according to 
Scene members and other assorted paraphernelia at the 
South Seas Hideaway. "Encore," screamed the crowd in 
response to the owner of the joint's resounding 
affirmation of the Rock after Red Asfault's set. Cops 
soon arrived, but they were too late.

Guy in Wheelchair Smashes Up Radio Station

While attempting to sort records at a small local radio 
station, a local wheelchair-bound man caused more harm 
than good, he said. The first calamity came when his 
large, unwieldy chair caught the corner of a shelf of 
compact discs, smashing one case and injuring others. 
Later, while attempting a 180-degree turn in the small 
library of the station, KFJC, the wheelchair struck a 
large, unsecured bookshelf of CDs, nearly bringing it 
down.

_Society_

Esmeralde Weds Mr. Poncho
Local dolls Esmeralde, of La Paz, Bolivia, and Mr. 
Poncho, modeled after a Zapatista commander in his 
native Chiapas, Mexico, have agreed to marriage. Pete 
noticed the pair had switched places on the top of his 
stereo the other day, and soon found the two were meant 
to be together forever. Pete's youngest sister remarked
that Mr. Poncho's gun looked threatening, but Pete 
assured her that the weapon is meant for her defense.

Letter to the Editor:
Re: Pete Might Have Hit 32
While biking the other day, as reported in LDv1n2, Pete
saw his speedometer almost hit 32MPH. Not only did you 
fail to congratulate him on going so fast, but you 
scolded him for looking at his speedometer. What if he 
did go 32? We'd never know it.
Elmer Crow, Rockville, TN

_* Want to Quit Smoking? Need Another way to pass time with friends? 
Phone: xxx-xxx-xxxx Email:xxx@xxx.com *_