Wednesday Morning; Vietnamese Friends
Now Playing: Beth Orton "Paris Train"

My swatch battery stopped working.

Last night Mai (My)came over and she took me to Thuy?s (Twee) house to pick up my electric bike. Before I go on, let me describe these two students.

Mai is the student I have the deepest relationship with, because we have the most important thing in common. She?s twenty years old and a first year student. She?s a poet, she?s incredibly intelligent, and she likes to wear all black. She adores the Backstreet Boys, but realizes that that?s kind of adolescent of her. She?s zealous. She?s too thin, with a diamond shaped face, crooked teeth, and intense eyes.

Thuy is a third-year student. Each class in the university has a ?monitor,? who is like the class president - Thuy is the monitor for her class, and she?s the only female monitor that I?m aware of in the whole university. Her father is a teacher in the English department. She?s a Party member and she believes strongly in Vietnam and its tradition and politics. Her life plan is to become a headmistress of a high school in Vinh (and I should point out that most high schools here have headmasters, not headmistresses). Thuy has the greatest sense of humor that I?ve found in Vietnam. I realized a few weeks ago when I was at her house that her sense of humor is due to her older brother -- but she?s got a kind of sarcasm and wittiness that I love. She?s intelligent and hardworking and playful, and one of the closest reciprocating friends I have here. I can depend on her. She?s got a large, round, expressive face and a confident way of moving through life.

So anyway, Thuy?s family has been storing the bike for me while I waited for the ramp to be built to the storage room in my building. I got to Thuy?s house and gave her parents some flowers and we sat down in their front room for some water and fresh fruit from the garden. Her mom asked (in Vietnamese) if the weather was not suitable to me in Vietnam; I looked too thin. Her father was so worried about me driving the bike back to school in the dark that he asked Thuy to follow behind me, with Mai in front of me - he joked about me being a queen with bodyguards before and behind. I told him he and his wife were my Vietnamese parents.

When we got back to school, Mai said that she was afraid that I was too tired to study with her, so she was going to give me a back massage while we talked.

My Vietnamese friends take such good care of me. They serve me, they laugh with me, they watch out for me. I am very blessed by them.
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There is one slight problem. The ramp built on the stairs was put on the side, in a place where there?s not enough room to angle my bike up onto the ramp. It took all three of us to get it up and in last night. But at least it?s here.

Tuesday Morning
Now playing: Fernando Ortega "O Thou In Whose Presence"

We arrived in Hanoi Saturday morning at about 5:30. We had to wake Sandy (the country director) to unlock her house for us, and then the three of us sat around with hot drinks and talked. Around eight Sandy had to start preparing for a baby shower that she was holding at 10 for two expecting ex-pats. Susan, Tina, and Linda came over, and we were all in the kitchen together, talking and cutting up fruit for the fruit salad and hovering over things in the oven. Suddenly, it was the most familiar feeling in the world - being in the kitchen with a bunch of chattering women - and I liked it. (Who is the black woman who has written about this?) I stood there slicing grapes and only listening.

The house was full of stargazer lilies and pink and yellow roses (Clarissa decided she would buy the flowers herself - and she got teased for paying too much for them).

Hanoi was cold and wet. We spent most of our time sitting around talking with members of Team Vietnam - talking either about language school or about Sandy Harrison's dog Bella. We shopped a little bit, we ate good western food, and we watched "lost in translation" and "something's gotta give," both of which I brought specifically for Sandy.

We got back this morning at 4:30. The train last night was sold out of beds, so we had seats, and didn't sleep much at all. But it's bearable for three materialistic reasons: One, I brought four new books back from Sandy's house; Two, we purchased a blender to make fruit smoothies; and, most importantly, Three, when we arrived at Vinh university in the greyness of the morning we saw a new iron ramp on the stairs of my building...meaning, that today my electric bike can come home to stay.

Various Observations, cont.
Today, walking to class, I walked past a girl wearing an embroidered, rather bright pink corduroy jacket, and I liked it and wondered how it would look on me. Perhaps living in Vietnam has influenced my sense of style? Not that I had much to begin with, but still...

Since I bought my Thai jeans, I haven?t worn my Abercrombie jeans once. The Thai jeans are much cuter (and 80% cheaper). I realize this sounds like a silly, materialistic thing to be writing about. But I say it because tonight I had a sudden urge to wear my old jeans, and after I put them on, I had a rush of memory.

Last year I used to often walk to and from school. I would tramp through the tall grass behind the Peterson?s house, slip behind Barnes and Noble, then dart across Texas Ave and trek across the huge empty green field until I reached the parking lot at the edge of campus. I had a vivid memory today of walking across the greenness of the field, the dew on the tall grass leaving me with damp jeans and dirty Birkenstock-ed feet, the sky huge and white above me, and my mind full, echoing with the new music from my headphones or chasing thoughts about 17th century poets and postmodern novelists.

There are some parts of being an American college student that I really miss.

Sandy and I decided this morning to go to Hanoi this afternoon - she needs to talk with some people there about the option of going to language school next year. We are wildly spontaneous, don't you think? Just flying off to Hanoi at the drop of a hat.

I love my students.

Angelfire chooses the little ads that run on the top of this page. They have some kind of search engine that scans the words in my journal and picks ads that should correspond to my interests. So, it's not surprising when I have ads running like "Teach English in Bangkok" or something. But I noticed today that the ad is for harlequin romance novels. What does that say about me, huh?

Observation
When the rice in the bottom of the rice cooker gets a little overdone, it turns brown and crunchy, and begins to smell like Rice Krispies cereal.

"Now Playing" and other rants
3:50pm
My sister and her hipster friends write online journals on xanga.com. Xanga has a nifty marketing feature of which I?m a little jealous; at the beginning of each journal entry, my sister can put an icon that says ?now playing? or ?now watching? or ?now reading? and a picture of the cover of the cd, movie, or book that she is playing, watching, or reading. The picture is also a link to the product at amazon.

Now, this is slightly troubling, because it?s an indication of how much we in America define ourselves by our consumer products. In the beginning of the movie ?Fight Club,? the narrator talks about how he started living the ?Ikea? life, buying Ikea products until his apartment matched the advertising photos in the Ikea catalog. The movie points out that finding identity in consumer products is emasculating, but it?s actually more than emasculating. It?s un-identifying yourself at the same time as you are identifying yourself. It?s limiting, in several ways. And defining yourself by the music you listen to is little different from defining yourself by how Ikea-savvy you are.
Now Playing: Dear Chicago (Ryan Adams)
(Do I want to be defined as a person who listens to Ryan Adams? Shoot?it?s too mainstream. Ok.)
Now Playing: New South (Kate Campbell)
(You think it?s too twangy?Fine.)
Now Playing: You Know So Well (Sondre Lerche)
(You think I just like him cause he?s cute? Yeah, you?re right.)

Ah, the anxieties of defining yourself in the consumer culture. I?m still writhing over my decision. Should I have gone with Rosie Thomas or Patty Griffin or stuck with a trustworthy Belle and Sebastian? Of course you must be ?unique,? since in America we are all non-conformist individuals; however, only some kinds of ?different? are cool. So it?s tough. It?s tricky. You gotta be light on your feet.
I hope you can read my tone.
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Today we have spring weather and sunny skies in Vinh. It?s been cloudy and chilly for a couple of weeks, and the change in weather motivated me to get out on my bike (not my electric bike, which isn?t here yet because I don?t yet have a garage, but the old fashioned cycle). I had been putting off my shopping, but really, with warm weather - with a mother who yesterday ran a marathon - and with the fact that a year ago at the time I was nearly killing myself hiking down into the Grand Canyon - there was just no excuse for me to avoid the 101 stairs and couple of kilometers to the supermarket. Our supermarket is so amazing for a provincial town in Vietnam. This week we actually have salsa and raisin bran. It?s wonderful.
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I just finished reading Catfish and Mandala by Andrew Pham, a Vietnamese-American. It was really moving. That and some reading I?m doing for Wheaton are leading me to think a lot about cross-cultural attitudes.

In centuries past, when people went abroad, they far too often took an imperialistic sense of cultural superiority with them. They went to teach the ?uncivilized? peoples the ?right? way to live. Now, in western countries that attitude is far less prevalent, though certainly not dead. Now, scholars teach us that all cultures are good, and one culture is not better than another; thus, we should go and learn from other cultures with an open mind, never imposing our value systems on them.

This is a good and helpful way of thinking about cross-cultural interaction, but not an entirely correct one. It?s true that we should go to a new culture with the open mind of a learner, but at some point we also have to pass judgment. At some point, we have to be willing to say, ?This is a good aspect of the cultural tradition, and this is an aspect that ought to be changed.? If we?re afraid to say that, then we won?t really be able to learn anything about that culture or about the culture from which we?ve come.

Young Americans often take the popular liberal attitude to an extreme, rejecting western cultural imperialism and universalism so strongly that they reject the entire culture with it. They come to travel in eastern countries seeking a ?simplicity? and ?goodness? that they believe cannot be found in their home culture, which they see as decadent and ruined. Reading Andrew Pham?s view of America and Vietnam helped me to realize the good that exists even in the flawed American culture.
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I really miss my car today. I find it hard to appreciate music as much without the highway. There's nothing like a couple of hours alone in the car with some tapes.

The Foreigner's Short Guide to Vietnamese Culture
By Class 42
Things you should know:
1. When giving or recieveing something, show your respect by using two hands.
2. Don't point with one finger.
3. Give your guests water when they come over, whether they drink it or not.
4. Don't kiss in public.
5. Don't eat in the class.
6. If a person dies, burn everything related to that person.
7. If a parent dies, the child must wait three years before getting married.
8. The usual greeting is "where are you going?"
9. People in the North like sour food; people in the center like sugary food; and people in the south like chili food.
10. Before traveling or taking an exam, you should eat fish; you should not eat eggs or dog meat.
11. Girls aren't allowed to sit on a broom. (?)
12. It's impolite if you don't say "hello" first when you meet an older person.
13. If you invite someone to go eat or drink something, you must pay for both of you.
14. Don't open a present in front of the giver.
15. It takes three days for a dead person's soul to escape the body.
16. When a mother thinks a child is difficult to bring up, she will sell the child's soul to the pagoda so that the baby will become easier to bring up.
17. At a funeral you should wear white and dark clothes, not wonderful clothes.
18. If two weddings meet each other on the road, the brides should exchange flowers.
19. Vietnamese often ask some questions about your salary, age, marriage status...don't be offended.
20. In Vietnam, there are usually three generations living under one roof.
21. Vietnamese usually drink boiled water instead of coffee or tea.
22. Foreign people shouldn't dance or shake their bodies in public.
23. Don't be surprised when people put food in your bowl. They are being friendly.
24. Don't praise a pretty baby in public. It's bad luck for the child.
25. Don't be surprised if you find this country more peaceful and its people more kind and hospitable than any other.

On the Road

Now I?m reading Catfish and Mandala , a ?Vietnamese odyssey? by Andrew Pham. The author, who left Vietnam with his family at a young age and grew up in California, chronicles his return to Vietnam. He returns with a bike and little money. In his story, interlaced with flashbacks to his parents? early life in Vietnam, the you can see his struggle to define his identity as a Vietnamese-American. I?m not far into it yet, but I think it has promise.

Before beginning his journey, Andrew muses on it. His words belong in my research thesis on wanderlust:

?Riding out my front door on a bicycle for the defining event of my life. It is so American, pioneering, courageous, romantic, self-indulgent. I?d read Miles from Nowhere by Barbara Savage, who had ridden her bike around the world with her husband, Larry. It is so simple. All I need I learned in grade school.?
Catfish and Mandala, p.29

Book Recommendations


First of all, my favorite novel of the last few months has been Bee Season by Myla Goldberg. Check it out.

Second of all: I'm currently working on a book review for one of my Wheaton summer classes. The book is Ordering Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald. It is a book to be approached skeptically. MacDonald has 35 years of pastoring experience in New England, and his book has impressive endorsements. However, the book is a well-packaged national bestseller ?updated for the 21st century? with a study guide included, and I tend to be wary of savvy marketing techniques. The inner flap of the book cover promises that the book will lead you to ?true success ? a peace-filled, ordered inner world.? Having seen too many well-marketed books promising three simple steps to victory in one area or another of life, I always - and I think, justifiably - approach such books skeptically.

However, I've been really wonderfully surprised by this book. MacDonald talks about the basics, but in a way that is both refreshingly graceful and disciplined. It's a convicting book. I recommend it (to everyone, that is, except people like my Mom, who already has everything in it mastered. You don't need to bother with it :-)).

February 29: Ladies, It's Our Last Chance for Four Years...

"Scotland's St Margaret is generally credited with having originated the custom, about 1288, whereby women were allowed to propose marriage on this day so long as they wore red petticoats. The Scottish Parliament went so far as to pass a law forbidding a man to reject a woman's proposal, even imposing still penalties for violations. Eventually it was decided that a man could refuse, as long as he brought his admirer a new pair of gloves."
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Last night's dream:
Jason and Mai and Eponine and Tim Davis (President of ELIC) and I were driving home. We stopped at a place for Taco Bell, but after they brought out our dinner, Jason found dog meat mixed in it, so he took it back and ordered something else.

Later, I had arrived at home and was going to get my haircut. There, Tim Davis and two other men were working as barbers, and all three of them had brand new iPods that they had gotten for Christmas from their wives. They also had new waterproof cases for their iPods. Then, Anne Henderson Stockett came by with Jonathon and their new twin girls, and with Olivia and Jeff. I ran out to give Anne a hug, and you couldn?t tell at all that she had just been pregnant for nine months. She said the labor was long?

Dad's Haiku Response

Horror of horrors
I've raised a daughter who's hooked
Noodles and codeine