Throwing my damp towel onto a chair I stretch out my aching muscles, then pull down my small tee shirt back over the top of my shorts. The hot shower I just had was good, but I still feel like I went ten rounds with a huge fucking vamp that had claws. . .and that’s exactly what happened earlier. It took us almost a week to drive the vamp nest underground and have them lead us to the guy controlling them. They were all pretty tough, but me and my team of slayers worked away at ‘em, killing as many as we could each night.
Tonight it was the boss’ turn. We went in guns blazing, or at least stakes swinging. The other slayers kept his minions busy and I went right for him. He put up one hell of a fight; kinda reminded me of Kakistos. I’m better and faster than I was back then, though. Didn’t take me too long to find his weak spots and take him down. Plunged a big fucking spike through his chest and watched his face get all twisted before he went poof. Best feeling in the world. Well, almost.
It’s not the best anymore, that’s reserved for Buffy now. Never felt anything as good as being close to her, making her come for me. Making her moan my name and want me as much as I want her. The memory’s still strong in my mind. Still getting me wet every night; picking up the phone only to put it down again, never sure what to say.
We’ve spoken since I went, but just once. She called two nights ago, asking how the killing was going. I filled her in on the sitch and we talked for a little while about this and that, but it never got deep. I didn’t know what to say. Wasn’t sure I knew exactly what I wanted, even though hearing her voice had my heart fucking aching for her. I could kinda tell she was the same. . .wanting to ask me, needing to know. I wouldn’t have blamed her for pushing me, but she didn’t. We talked for about an hour, catching up. Then it got a little heated when she told me how much she’d been thinking about me and her and what she wants to do. It coulda strayed into phone-sex territory but the kid woke up and she had to go.
I’m kinda glad we held off, it woulda just got me even more horny for her, and being over 3000 miles away just sucks when you really need to fuck the person you can’t stop thinking about.
Running my fingers through my damp hair I glance around my apartment. It’s looking all kindsa empty. I never had a problem living alone before, but now I know I could be shacked up with Buffy it just feels cold, silent. It’s not where I wanna be.
The phone rings and I shake myself outta my daze. It’s probably Giles checking in on me. I think he’s a little worried I’m gonna be spending New Years alone. Fucked if I care; the only person I wanna spend it with ain’t here, and I was too much of a pussy to face the obvious when I was with her. I pick it up and wait for him to speak. I never say hello first, it pisses him off and gives me a chuckle when he rants at me.
I almost don’t realise it’s her at first. I mean, it’s not like I was expecting her to call.
“Faith, are you at some wild New Years party? Hello?” Buffy says.
My silence breaks and I chuckle at the cute way she’s saying hello. This chick is adorable, with all the fucking bells on.
“Hey, B,” I finally respond.
“Oh, you are there. . .good,” she sighs with relief. “Not that’s it’s good you’re sat all alone at almost fifteen minutes to midnight, but at least I’m not just talking to your answering machine.”
I grin and feel the need to pull her into my arms and squeeze her tight. Kinda makes me feel even more empty realising I can’t do that, and that it’s my own fault I can’t.
“Nope, I’m definitely not a machine, B,” I tell her, smiling ‘cause it’s just so good to hear her voice.
“Well that’s good to hear, otherwise it’d be all weird wanting to get you naked and have my way with you. I was never into sex toys,” she says, all dead-pan, like telling me she wants to have sex with me is the most normal thing in the world for us.
‘Course, it’s not normal at all, but I’m not gonna point that out; not when it’s so good to finally hear it and know it’s real and not just me. Makes lotsa parts of me tingle.
“Anyway,” Buffy continues, “why are you spending New Years alone?” she asks.
It kinda puts me on the back foot. I don’t have any excuses or lame lies about having something important to do or other places to be. Didn’t much feel like partying the night away, I was just gonna sit in with a couple of beers and try to make sense of where my life’s headed.
“Didn’t much feel like making plans, B,” I tell her.
“Yeah, me either,” she responds. “And I’m glad I caught you in. I mean, that way we kinda get to spend New Years together.”
I can almost see her smile and it makes me wanna reach out and touch it. Kiss it.
“I guess,” I say, looking out the window into the darkness of the street.
There’s people singing and dancing up a storm a few houses down, having fun, being with the people they care about. I don’t think I’ve ever spent this night with people I really care about. As a kid I was told to stay outta the way, and when I got old enough I’d spend the night getting drunk with strangers and fucking the first person I thought was gonna be the easiest to kick out right after. I started that shit young, and even though I can’t regret my past, I sure as hell would like to forget some of it.
“Are you ok?” Buffy asks, making me shake my head and stop feeling sorry for myself.
“Five by five, B,” I tell her.
“You know I’m not going to believe that, right?” she replies, calling my bluff.
I chuckle. No answer to give her.
“Faith?” she says softly. “Would you like me to be there with you?”
I furrow my brow, thinking about the question, wondering if she’s trying to catch me out. In the past I woulda told her anything not to seem needy or weak, or show that I actually miss her. Of course I want her here, but it ain’t gonna happen.
I try to be as honest as I can in my answer, knowing she deserves that much. “There’s not another person in the world I’d rather be with, Buffy,” I say quietly.
Maybe I was just a little too honest ‘cause the line’s gone completely quiet. I can hear her breathing, but she’s not saying anything. I probably went too far considering the last time we spoke I basically told her I couldn’t handle being with her right now.
“B?” I say, worried that I just scared her the hell away.
“Sorry, you just. . .took me a little by surprise there,” she confesses. “I got a little sidetracked by all the butterflies.”
I try to figure out what she means but then I get it and it makes me smile. “I give you butterflies?” I ask.
She pauses before replying shyly, “All the time, Faith.”
My smile turns into a full on grin. I could get used to us being honest with each other like this.
“And if you go and open your front door,” Buffy continues softly, “maybe I could return the favour.”
My eyebrow raises and I look towards my front door. I don’t get what she means but move that way anyway, thankful I have a cordless phone. I wanna tell her she gives me butterflies all the time too, but I don’t feel like looking a complete wuss. The closer I get to the door, the more those butterflies start flappin’.
“You get a me a gorilla-gram or something, B?” I ask, chuckling to myself.
“Just open the door.”
My fingers curl round the handle - my heart beating fast in my chest – and I slowly open the door. It’s then that I can feel the faint tingle; the subtle but distinct sensation I get from Buffy. It’s like her inner-slayer speaking to mine, letting me know she’s there. I pull the door open enough to see into the dimly lit hallway, and take in the sight of Buffy, smile gleaming at me with her cell phone to her ear.
“Hi,” she says, her eyes sparkling at me, her hair flowing over her shoulders in golden curls. She looks amazing.
I move my phone down and slip it – without looking – onto the small table next to the door. She just took my fucking breath away. She gave me butterflies and then some.
“Can I come in?” she asks, a little frown gettin’ in the way of her smile.
I shake my head yes and step aside, watching as she pulls one of those small suitcases on wheels in. I know I’m blinking and standing around like a dork not saying anything. . .but seriously, I didn’t expect Buffy to show up at my door any time soon, let alone ten minutes to midnight.
“Sorry I didn’t give you a little more warning,” Buffy says, stopping in front of me as I close the door.
Trying to find something to say is getting to be a real problem. Hell, all I really wanna do is grab hold of her.
“Not a problem,” I finally say. “I didn’t. . .how did you. . ?”
“Giles got me the ticket last minute. Don’t know how, I just know he has some serious connections,” she tells me with a little laugh.
“Yeah, the old guy’s got some pull,” I nod, looking her over as she takes her jacket off and places it on her suitcase, dropping her phone on top of it. “He can get you a ticket to just about anywhere.”
“Or everything,” Buffy says, her eyes locking on mine as we move closer.
I feel like there’s fucking electricity or something flowing between us, charging up the atmosphere, keeping me from just reaching out and touching her. I’m almost afraid to, as if she’d give me a shock or make me combust or some shit like that.
“Why didn’t you call me and let me know? I coulda picked you up or. . .” I begin, not really sure what else I would have done had I known.
“I didn’t want you to panic and run,” she tells me, looking up all bashful at me so I don’t get pissed. “And it was all pretty last minute. It’s Lucy’s weekend with Robin so I won’t be missed. . .but that only gives me three days to convince you.”
She pauses and looks down at her hands before looking back up at me.
“Convince me of what?” I ask, my voice quiet, trying my best not to intimidate so she knows I’m glad she’s here.
Buffy takes a breath, her eyes looking right into me, searching through my layers to the parts she knows are all hers. “To convince you to come home with me,” she informs me softly.
I can’t help but smile, and notice the little glint in her eyes as she gets a flash of my dimples.
“You won’t need three days, B,” I point out, glancing towards the center of the room.
Her gaze follows mine and she looks around, seeing the half full boxes of my stuff. It would be obvious to anybody that I’m in the middle of getting my shit together to leave. There’s nothing on the walls, nothing laying around that isn’t wrapped up in paper and ready to be boxed and shipped. She turns back to me, a questioning look in her eyes that looks more hopeful than worried.
“Realised for sure a few days ago that I can’t live without you anymore,” I say, laying myself bare. “I’m meant to be with you. Felt it the first minute we met.”
I’d never said the words aloud. Never even allowed myself to truly think them without wanting to kick myself in the head for being crazy. There’s no way I ever believed in the whole ‘love at first sight’ crap, and I’d avoided trying to feel it more than I can explain. . .but I’m done avoiding. Done running. I just hope she really does feel the same ‘cause it’s out there now. She knows I need her to complete me.
A small tear rolls down Buffy’s cheek as she processes what I just said. I can almost feel the relief inside her; the release of years of holding it all in. neither of us can hold it in any longer, though. There’s no room inside left for empty spaces full of regret.
I step forward and pull her into my arms as more tears fall, and she trembles against me. Now she’s in my arms all I wanna do is feel. I’ve denied it so long. . .but all my heart can do now is burst with feeling. Holding tight I cling to Buffy and she clings right back, our arms wrapped around backs, Buffy’s face in my neck as she smiles through her tears.
“I love you,” I hear Buffy whisper, her hot breath warming my skin. “I think I’ve always been in love with you. . .even when I hated you.”
My arms hold tighter, probably almost on the verge of hurting her, the words sending shivers through me, though we both let out a soft chuckle at the last ones. I don’t sense that hate from her anymore, just the love that was always there bubbling under the surface. It warms me like I’ve never felt. Makes me love her more than I ever did.
Keeping tight hold of Buffy I brush my lips over her temple, breathing in her scent. I kiss down her face, tasting the damp trail of salty tears that have stopped flowing, following its path down to her lips. Buffy sighs happily, her hands stroking over my back. When I reach her mouth with mine I pause, lips barely touching, ready to taste. I place a kiss on her top lip, then on her bottom as she waits patiently, her heart pounding against mine. My own feels about ready to burst outta my chest for her, the love inside needing an outlet.
I whisper across her lips, “I love you, Buffy.”
Her body shudders against me just a little, hands pulling me tighter to her. We share a secret smile before pushing closer, kissing soft and slow; taking our time to catch every moment, to keep it inside forever.
Buffy flicks her tongue across mine, inviting me deeper, fuller. I don’t waste a second to give her what she wants. Our lips tease and taste as our tongues take us from love to lust, getting us both hot and breathy. She’s a fucking amazing kisser and I’m fast getting seriously turned on. Her body pressed against me is just making it worse. . .or better, depending on whether or not she wants us to get to the sex stuff again so quick. If she doesn’t stop doing that with her tongue she’s gonna have one hell of a horny slayer on her hands.
“Buffy,” I say, forcing my lips from hers, but not too far. “I slayed pretty hard tonight, and I’ve been doing nothing but think about fucking you for the past week, we’d better stop kissing like this if you’re not looking to. . .”
“I’ve done a lot of thinking about it too, Faith,” she says, interrupting me. “For a lot longer than a week.”
She pulls me back to her, mouth crashing against mine, kissing me deeply, pouring herself into me as we fight for air. We both want the same thing, I can tell that for sure. There’s no doubt anymore. Taking a chance, I use my strength to lift Buffy up. She gets the idea right away and jumps up on me, wrapping her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck.
Both grinning like idiots, trying to kiss as I walk, I head us towards the bedroom. As we reach the door I hear a burst of fireworks outside. People are yelling and singing. I stop and look up into Buffy’s eyes as she gazes down at me, nothing but love and desire on her face.
“Happy New Year, B,” I say, finally understanding what happy really feels like.
She says it back, her smile open and beautiful, the kiss she places on my lips perfect.
I make the short distance from the door to the bed quickly and let Buffy fall back gently, laying her down, watching as she kicks off her shoes. Her eyes never leave mine and I feel consumed by them. Can’t quite believe I’ve got Buffy on my bed, waiting for me to join her, to fuck her. . .hell, to make love to her. Makes me feel kinda nervous, but she’s what I want. All I ever really wanted.
“You’re so beautiful, yunno that?” Buffy says as I stand at the foot of the bed.
I feel the urge to blush but play it off, shaking my head.
“Nothing compared to you, B,” I tell her, looking her over as she lays before me.
Buffy smiles but tells me, “You’re wrong. One of the reasons I fell so in love with you and couldn’t shake it is because you’re just so fucking gorgeous, Faith. There was no ignoring or denying that.”
This time I grin, feeling sure of myself. Feeling like I can be myself with her now. Fully.
Making sure I’ve got every little bit of her attention by slowly licking my bottom lip, I pull my tee shirt off over my head. She watches, pupils wide as she takes in the sights.
“Gotta make sure you’ve got plenty of reference material if you’re gonna go callin’ me things like beautiful,” I tell her. “Want me to keep going?” I ask playfully, hands gripping the top of my shorts as I grin at her.
“You’d better,” she replies huskily, her breath coming quicker as she rests back on her elbows.
I raise an eyebrow at the challenge. “What do I get in return?” I ask.
She starts undoing the buttons of her shirt with one hand as she looks deep into me.
“Anything you want, Faith. I’m all yours.”
My stomach does a flip as she pushes her shirt open and I get a peek at the pink lacy bra underneath. I wanna lick her all over, nibble on her, suck on her. I can see in her eyes that she is all mine.
Not wasting anymore time, I push down my shorts and kick them off, leaving myself completely naked. I crawl onto the bed, noticing how Buffy’s looking at me, her lips slightly parted as she ogles my goodies.
“Wow, it’s even better than in my fantasies,” she says, looking a little more flustered now as I straddle her waist and push her shirt further open.
Buffy’s hands slide up my thighs to my waist, one hand continuing up over my stomach, reaching up to my breasts. I get distracted for a second as she feels me up, biting her lower lip as she does it. I wanna rip her bra off but I don’t, instead choosing to brush my fingers over her nipples though it, making her sigh my name. It’s fucking sexy the way she says my name like that.
I lean down and kiss her, needing to have her tongue slipping around mine as I push off her shirt and get her out of her cute bra. Her hands are all over me, making me insane with need. I’m dripping for her and she just discovered that as her fingers drifted lightly over my pussy. I didn’t want her to move them, but I also don’t wanna be distracted from what I need to do to her. I shift lower, kissing over her breasts and nipples, making her sigh and moan.
“Faith,” she groans, “I wanna touch you.”
Her fingers are still reaching for me, but she’s gonna have to wait. My teeth scrape lightly over her nipple and she arches up into me, her hips looking for mine to press down on her. She’s still got her jeans on so I’m gonna have to fix that first.
“I wanna make you come, B,” I tell her as I trail my fingers down to the buttons on her jeans. “I wanna taste you. Make you come in my mouth.”
Buffy’s breathing gets noticeably deeper, stomach tensing as I place kisses over it. I undo her jeans and pull them off her hips and down, throwing them to the floor along with her panties. She seems a little shy, little trembles running through her as she looks into my eyes. I slowly crawl between her legs, my hands smooth on her thighs, lips tasting her skin. Her body is beautiful, slim and sexy, calling out to me to touch it and love it.
“Oh fuck,” she gasps as I kiss over her pussy, feeling how wet she is on my lips.
I moan and nuzzle against her as she spreads her legs wide for me, giving herself to me. I’ve always loved eating pussy, but this is. . .this is fucking heaven. Getting to taste Buffy. Getting to make her come like this; it’s something I’ve only ever dreamed about.
Her folds part for my tongue as I glide it over her, covering it in her juices. She’s soaked for me and gasping with every touch. I feel her fingers in my hair, connecting us. Her taste is hot and sensual, every sticky drop making me drunk on how much I want her. I let my tongue explore for a while, causing Buffy to moan and twitch when I hit her clit, her fingernails scratching at me and letting me know she wants more.
Not gonna make either of us wait too long, though. We have all night. Hell, we have three days here alone.
The third time I make her come with my mouth on her pussy she pulls me up, gasping for breath after practically screaming my name. Guess she likes me sucking on her clit ‘cause she went fucking wild.
“God, Faith,” she says breathlessly. “Come here, I need to hold you.”
I move up from between her legs and she wraps one around me as I settle on top of her. She’s holding tight to me, her nose nuzzling against mine as I enjoy the warmth of her body and the sensation of having her naked against me.
Never knew sex could be like this. I haven’t even gotten off yet but it feels fucking amazing. Making her moan for me and call out my name, her come spilling over my lips into my mouth as she shakes, is something I’m gonna love doing as much as I can. Doesn’t seem like she’d refuse either; she came hard, three in a row without stopping as I ate her out using every trick I know.
Buffy smiles happily as I pull the sheet up over us, shutting out the cold. She’s obviously all sleepy from the flight, her eyes closing as she pulls me as close as she can to her. I’m not complaining. I want her to sleep in my arms feeling safe and loved, ‘cause that’s how she’s making me feel. Something I never felt before, and something I know she’s always gonna make me feel. We’ve gotten over the bad stuff, had our fill of it together. From here on in I get the feeling it’s gonna be non-stop lovin’ and fucking and spending every minute we can making up for what we screwed up before.
“Don’t leave this time, Faith,” she says in a sleepy mumble into my hair.
“Not going anywhere, B. I belong with you,” I tell her, my heart burning for her as I speak the truth.
She squeezes me to her and I kiss her lips softly before she drifts off to sleep. I can’t have a life without her now; it would rip a hole right through me. One I could never hope to get over. Buffy’s my everything. Always was and always will be. No matter what I fill my life up with, it’s always been Buffy I want by my side.