Two months later…
The hall echoes with the sound of my boots scraping across the hard wood of the floor. Big hall. Big boots. Nobody comes down the stairs in front of me to check who it is and nobody sticks their head around the corner. I’m totally alone in the house, just like I was counting on.
Normally Willow would be on a laptop someplace, and Dawn would be sat with her nose in a pile of homework. Xander would be trying to build something or paint something, or do whatever the hell it is he’s doing to this old place that makes it look a little better everyday. And Buffy, she’d be pacing; wanting to do something, do anything to take the edge off before we go out to slay.
This place – Cleveland - is buzzin’ with bad vibes. One Hellmouth down and the bad guys and demons all started making their home here. One Hellmouth down and evil found a new place to hang out. Giles gave it a fancy name, but what it boils down to is the fact that with only one Hellmouth now active there’s a whole lotta negative energy right under our feet just begging to tip the balance back out of our favor.
And it’s definitely in our favor. A slayer army right on evil’s doorstep has gotta be all kindsa fucking irritating, and we do our best to irritate every night, in packs.
Most of the girls who stuck around after the move from LA live next door. Kennedy keeps ‘em all in line there since she split up with Will. Well, more like split up, got back together, split up again - more than a few times. They’re still friends, but I guess they’re just too different. I don’t give a shit as long as neither of ‘em get in my way or start bringing up the past.
Buffy made it clear to them all, and to me, that the past is gone. It went down with Sunnydale and it ain’t coming back up again so there’s no point dwellin’ on it. It was quite a speech, and even though a few of the guys were kinda shocked, none of them said anything against it. We all do our best to get along, help the girls out, and slay the bad guys. One big slaying family. The only family I ever recall wanting to stick around for more than five minutes.
Of course, B’s not like my family in the sister kinda way ‘cause that would be all kindsa fucked up. We’re still goin’ at it nearly every night, and totally in to each other. We’re also still totally off everybody’s radar. Nobody knows about us, and I guess we’re not even sure if that’s a good thing or not.
I doubt either of us thought we’d still be ‘together’ after this long. Hell, I know for sure I thought B woulda moved on to something else by now; some tall guy that’s all moody and possibly dead – going on Buffy’s previous. But she hasn’t paid any guy who’s ever hit on her the slightest bit of attention. Will’s convinced that it’s post traumatic stress after Sunnydale, and after Spike went poof. I haven’t set her straight with that. It’s not my place.
If Buffy wants ‘em to know, she’ll tell ‘em.
It’s kinda getting hard to keep it a secret, though. We keep almost getting caught in the morning coming out of each other’s rooms. And it’s fucking hard not to touch when other people are around. Just the other day B wiped something off my face – probably ketchup – when we were all diggin’ in to fries and burgers, and she let her hand stay too long; her fingers just touching my cheek for the hell of it. We got weird looks, and I had to knock in to Dawn and make her start choking just to distract everybody.
It was a lucky escape. Nobody questioned us, but later we talked about maybe telling them. I said I’d go with whatever Buffy wanted, but I could tell just by the way she was pulling chunks of fuzz off her new pig toy that she wasn’t comfortable with that idea yet. I didn’t push it, and told her we could wait until she was sure.
People would freak at first and she knows it. Not ‘cause I’m a girl, but ‘cause I’m me. The girl with a history that – even though we’ve all decided belongs in the ground in Sunny D – makes trust an issue. They wouldn’t trust me with Buffy’s heart, even though I know I’ve got it totally in my hand. She gave me her heart in the way she is with me when nobody else is around. She doesn’t need to say the words and hasn’t, it’s just there. It’s between us when we’re slaying, and between us when we’re wrapped up in each other in every way we can be.
I doubt the gang would understand why yet, though. It’s too soon.
As much as I’d love to be able to be with Buffy how I want without worrying about the others, I gotta play it Buffy’s way. I gotta give her that much.
Throwing my keys down on to the hallway table, I glance down at my hands and decide I really need to wash ‘em before I even think about heading upstairs. Working as a mechanic has its drawbacks, and B hates going in to my room and finding grease and oil marks all over my shit. She hates it even more when I get it all over her shit, but hey. . .sometimes I just gotta find her and fuck her if we get enough time alone together.
See, the problem with living with so many people is that there’s always somebody around. Me an’ B don’t get much time together during the day to just be together, and even at night we gotta be careful. Sneaking past the creaky floorboards every night to get to each other’s rooms is startin’ to be a pain. An’ we gotta wake up real early so we can get back where we’re supposed to be so nobody starts to put two and two together.
At first when we got here we didn’t spend every night together, but more and more we just didn’t wanna part after the fucking. That whole feeling was pretty new to me but I tried not to freak about it. So now we sleep together pretty much every night, and if we can’t for some reason we’re both cranky in the morning, and then fucking the minute we can.
Still can’t get enough of each other. She winds me up just right and I wind her up just the same – in a good way. Can’t look at each other without feeling how much we both just wanna be closer, more naked, hot an’ heavy. The deeper slayer connection we’ve got now plays a big part in that; every strong feeling coming through like a fucking telephone call when we want each other, when we need each other, when we share the totally consuming love for each other we have without having to ruin it with words.
I doubt we’ll ever say the words, but I know it’s there and so does she. A few nights ago I nearly let it slip and I honestly have no idea if it woulda been a good thing or a bad thing at this point.
We’d slayed hard and fucked hard – but quiet due to all the bedrooms being on the same level – and as I was trying to get my breath back, head spinning and body totally tuned in to B. . .I almost said it. I almost told her just how crazy in love with her I am. Like a total girl. Like somebody that isn’t me. Or at least not the me that everybody thinks I am, who doesn’t feel love ‘cause she never had it before.
Well I feel it alright. I feel it so hard for B it scares me. Always did.
She’s been down in LA the last few days, doing something for Angel. Now, I’m not normally the jealous type, but it’s Angel. Angel and Buffy. I couldn’t hide how it made me feel when she told me she’d have to make the trip. I didn’t flip out or tell her she couldn’t go; I don’t have the right to do either. Not really. Sure, we’re kind of a couple, but not enough of one for me to start getting worked up about her seeing an ex.
I held my tongue but I guess she could tell there was something wrong. She told me not to worry and that she’d come back to me without Angel getting so much as a nibble. I just shook my head and laughed; wasn’t about to make a big deal out of it. If I had then we’d probably have just argued and going on past history. . .it’s never a good idea for us to argue. It just leads to bad things.
So I shrugged it off and she left, telling me again not to worry.
I guess I should be happy that she bothered to tell me that. She didn’t have to. It’s not like we’ve sat down and decided we’re now in a relationship and that we have rules. I have no expectations; just going along with the flow. If she did go to LA and decide she wants to be all loved up with Angel again there wouldn’t be a thing I could say against it, not after everything I’d done to her and everything Angel represents for her.
The love between us is there without a doubt, but there’s also a shit load of other stuff. I’ve decided I have no control over it so I won’t stress about it. Of course, that doesn’t mean I can’t worry just a little.
I mean, it’s fucking Angel.
And Buffy’s the best lay I ever had so I don’t wanna lose that, or think about the waste it would be if she got back with him and his soul-losing trick if she goes anywhere near his little Mr Angel. That girl needs to be having sex, a lot, not spending her life pretending to be a nun.
Letting the hot water from the kitchen sink run over my soapy hands I smile to myself thinking about B pretending to be a nun as I lift up her habit and make her moan for me. She’s got a habit alright; a habit of making me smile when she’s not even around. And I don’t even care how whipped that makes me sound anymore, it’s just the way I feel.
As I wipe my hands dry I feel her. She’s walking up the drive. She’s happy. She’s horny.
Oh yeah, I love this connection we’ve got now. All I have to do is concentrate on it and it’s almost like being in her head. I know it’s the same for her too, so she’ll know I’m here, standing around with a stupid grin on my face just waitin’ for her.
See, I knew when she was getting home, and I also knew that everybody else would be out together; some museum trip Dawn made the others go with her to. Had to be today before whatever the hell it is Dawn wanted to see so bad moves on to the next city and the next museum. They were worried Buffy would be pissed that she’d be coming home to an empty house, but I reassured them I’d leave work early and be here. No way could I have gone the rest of the day without touching her once everybody else got home. I needed to be here.
She’s got me all kindsa crazy for her but I can’t complain. Everybody wants a part of Buffy Summers, and I get every part. No way is it a bad thing to wanna keep hold of it. I screwed it up so bad last time and I never again want to know what it feels like for her to hate me.
I move towards the kitchen door and push it open just as I hear her put her keys down next to mine. My heart is beating fast, body buzzing with the tingle she shoots through me just being near. A couple of days apart and it feels like it was way too long; I need to look in to her eyes, feel her lips against me and hear her voice.
Guess I missed her.
She strolls in to the living room as I do the same. Her bag hits the floor and she keeps walking forward towards me, our eyes locking and the connection between us sparking like crazy. I love her eyes, and the way her hair is catching the light coming through the window.
She looks like a commercial that’s trying to sell pretty, and she’s selling it fucking well.
“Hey,” she says, kinda quiet and sweet.
It suddenly feels like my confidence flew out the door she just came through; all I can do is smile at her and say, “Hi.”
We keep moving slowly towards each other and I let my gaze wander over her, taking in every inch. Every inch that I’ve kissed and licked, and touched. Every inch that’s undeniably mine. Yunno, as long as Angel didn’t claim it back when she was there.
“Missed me?” she asks with a smile, running a hand through her hair.
I could lie to keep up my reputation, I could admit it, or I could just show her.
I stop in front of her and watch as she licks her lips. I can feel how much she wants to close the gap; sensing it coming in waves from her. It makes my stomach tighten and my palms sweat. She wants to touch me, press close to me, share the intensity between us until we’re both trembling and complete.
Forgetting to keep my mouth shut and just show her that I missed her I lean forward and whisper across her lips, “I missed you,” before kissing her soft and slow.
She gives me a little moan in approval and gets as close to me as she can. Mouths getting reacquainted and hands remembering where they like to settle when we kiss, we melt in to each other. The taste of her and the feel of her tongue brushing against mine makes me wet already; readying my body in anticipation. Mind wandering as my hands do the same.
But I still feel kinda off; like I’m waiting for her to tell me something or put the brakes on. With her being totally in charge of this thing that we are it leaves me waiting for the inevitable where she tells me that this is the last time.
Buffy pulls back a little, looking into my eyes with her hands either side of my face.
“Are you ok?” she asks, the hint of worry flashing through her and in to me.
I wonder if I am ok, but I don’t know the answer. I’ve been over-thinking everything and that’s never a good thing.
Trying not to answer I lean back in to kiss her but she stops me, ducking away from my lips and giving me a raised eyebrow. When I don’t say anything she starts talking, keeping her hands on me, her voice soft and full of tenderness.
“I didn’t stop thinking about you for a second,” she tells me, her thumb stroking over my cheek.
I never used to like being touched like that – with sensitivity and love – even by Buffy, but she made me get used to it ‘cause she’d do it so damn much.
My lips curl in to a little smile at her confession.
“That had to suck,” I say.
“Didn’t suck at all,” she replies. “The only thing that sucked was not having you with me.”
We don’t normally talk like this. Like I’ve said, we know what we are and how we feel but we don’t talk about it. Talking about it would give it a name, and probably a death sentence. Or at least I think that’s what we used to believe. Maybe not so much now ‘cause I don’t think I can hold back anymore, and it definitely seems like Buffy’s done holding it all in.
“We’ve got the house to ourselves,” I point out, trying not to blurt out all kindsa girly things about how I hated her not being around.
“We do?” she asks, a small grin making her eyes twinkle.
I glance over at the clock on the wall.
“For at least another two hours,” I tell her.
“Then why are we still dressed?” she asks with an even bigger grin.
I chuckle and let my hands move down over her back to her ass, giving it a squeeze. It’s something I’d normally do, but then I’d be pushing her backwards towards the nearest wall, or surface, or to the bedroom closest. For some reason I don’t move. For some reason I feel like I can’t.
Buffy gives me a funny look, obviously confused. She just gave me the green light for some hot, monkey sex and I’m just standing here. That’s not normal.
She just gazes in to my eyes in that way that makes me feel naked to her. I can’t turn away, can’t break the eye contact as I let her in. She knows my soul; she’s seen it at its worst and felt it at its best, and I can’t hide from her anymore.
“Faith,” she starts softly, fingers brushing hair behind my ear, “I was yours when I went away, and I’m still yours.”
My mouth opens and then promptly closes. What do I say to that after all this time saying nothing? Her saying nothing and me saying nothing. I can practically feel my heart thumping off my ribs and my mind has gone completely blank. There’s no appropriate response I can give her ‘cause I never thought I’d ever hear her tell me that she’s mine.
Never realized I wanted her as mine. Not really.
My silence makes her do that adorable little pout she does. I used to think it was just sulking and it’d irritate me, but now it just makes me wanna kiss her pouty lips. I don’t; I just wait for my brain to catch up with the rest of me so we can do what I planned we’d already be doing by now.
“Maybe I should just show you,” she says. “Seeing as you’re being all mute and moody.”
I’m about to protest at being called moody but she distracts me by moving her fingers down my arms until they’re on the bottom of my shirt. She ruffles up the material, pushing upwards to get me to raise my arms so she can take it off, her fingernails scraping across my skin.
Jiggin’ up an eyebrow I give her a questioning look. She’s not normally the one to start things off. Sure, she’s the one who does all the teasing and tempting until I’m rushing at her, pulling my clothes off as I go, but I’ve always been the top. Normally it’s me trying to get us naked, but this time it’s her, and now she’s definitely maneuvering me towards the wall at my back.
It’s subtle, but we’re moving, and I’m powerless to stop it.
Her lips start teasing at my jaw and the corners of my mouth, getting me worked up and breathing heavier. I raise my arms like she wants so she can throw my top to the floor. Before I even have time to enjoy the feel of her hands on my stomach they’re cupping my boobs over my bra. I can’t do anything but sigh, hoping she’ll kiss me for real as her hands and fingers get my nipples stiff and my panties damp.
She knows just how wet I’m getting for her. She knows just how much I want her. I know there’s no doubt in her mind about what I feel for her ‘cause I can sense it. No more secrets.
Just as I’m about to take control – how I normally do – she kisses me, lusty and deep. Buffy’s tongue flicks over and around mine and all I can do is react. I moan in to her mouth and I feel her smile before she continues kissing me, her hands working their way down to my pants. With my back against the wall I feel trapped by her, but it doesn’t make me wanna panic like I would have in the past. In fact, it’s kinda hot.
I decide to let her lead for once; happy to let her give me something, show me that we’re doing good, and in something deeper together than either of us probably guessed it would ever become.
Her mouth moves over my jaw again, open kisses that run up to my ear as her hot breath spills over me. I shudder as she whispers to me, my hands sliding up her body as hers undo my jeans and start pushing them down.
“I wanna make you mine, Faith,” she whispers close to my ear.
Telling her I’m already hers would be redundant and I don’t wanna risk taking this down the wrong route; we can talk later. In the meantime I let my fingers drift over her breasts, enjoying the sound of her breath coming quicker against me even though she’s fully dressed. Definitely more dressed than I am as I shift a little in order for her to push my jeans down over my ass.
I watch her eyes as she looks over my body once I’m done kicking my pants to the side along with my boots. I’ll never get tired of the lust she has in her eyes for me when we’re like this. It makes me feel the sexiest I’ve ever felt. All it takes is one look from her. My whole body feels like it’s on fire.
“You’re so beautiful,” Buffy tells me, her fingertips brushing over my skin.
Trembles wanna make their way through my body but I’m trying not to fall apart under her touch. This feels different; maybe because we’ve switched roles, or maybe it’s something more. I can’t tell which it is. Not sure I have the ability to think about it too much either with Buffy pressing close to me again. Her heat reminds me that I should be getting her undressed – and possibly making sure the front door is locked and that nobody is perving in on us from the window. All the kind of thoughts I normally leave Buffy to think when we’re about to do the deed, but I guess today it’s my turn to be the ‘girl’.
Buffy kisses my neck and lets her hands wander over me until she’s reaching for the clasp of my bra at the back.
“I want to make you feel amazing,” Buffy tells me; lips teasing me.
I swallow hard and let my bra fall to the floor.
“You do,” I tell her.
And she really does make me feel amazing. Not just like this, but in other things too. Having somebody like her to keep me grounded has made me a better person, a better slayer, a better everything. And I’m not puttin’ myself down with that, it’s just a fact. I used to think the world owed me something, but now. . .I’m just happy to have my place in it, beside Buffy.
I gasp a little as Buffy’s hand eases into my panties. Can’t help but roll my hips into her touch, needing her to help with the throb I’ve had ever since she walked in the door.
“Fuck,” I moan as her fingers creep downward.
My eyes close and I rest my head back against the wall behind me. Buffy’s kissing her way to my chest, leaving a trail of heat as she goes.
“That’s the plan,” she says, and I feel the grin on my skin just before she pulls a hard nipple in to her mouth.
Scratching my short nails at her back I feel all my blood rush to my crotch. Who woulda thought just a few months back that I’d be practically begging her to fuck me and she’d be happy to do it? Weird how life flips on ya even when you think there’s no hope.
The world feels like it’s vibrating when Buffy’s fingers finally slip into the hot mess between my legs. I coat her fingers nice an’ good and she looks like she’s enjoying it just as much as I am. Her eyes get all heavy and I can sense just how turned on she is by me, and then her lips are right back to sucking my nipple, tongue flicking out over me as she strokes over my pussy achingly slow.
I wanna tell her to go faster, go slower, go nowhere but right here forever. Can’t help but sigh as she gives my nipple a long lick before moving back to my lips, her fingers slipping all over me and making me push against them. Feeling like I’m gonna pop before we’ve even started I decide she needs to have less clothes on. I wanna feel her skin against mine.
Fighting to stop kissing her I’m eventually able to break away from her lips long enough to speak.
“Buffy, you need to lose the clothes,” I tell her, my voice shaking as she circles a fingertip around my clit. “Need to feel you, and see you,” I confess.
She looks in to my eyes and I see as much as feel a little confusion coming from her, but it doesn’t last long and she smiles softly at me before sliding her hand outta my panties and quickly pulling off her top. Once again I’m fighting, but this time it’s to keep from just pouncing on her and humpin’ the hell outta her on the floor. Got a feeling this should mean more than that, though. Seems like she needs to have this little bit of control as much as I need to give it.
Pretty soon she’s wriggling out of her pants and I’m pulling her back towards me, our lips headed right for each other until we’re kissing hot and heavy again. Tongues sliding and hands looking for all the soft places on each other I get her bra off and start working on getting her out of her panties, but B’s got other ideas. Without breaking contact with my lips she grabs hold of my arms at the wrists and holds them up over my head against the wall. My first urge is to fight back, but it disintegrates when her free hand yanks at my panties.
Buffy 1. Panties 0.
I’m totally at her mercy. I could fight of course, wriggle out of her grip or use my legs to get advantage, but I don’t wanna do any of those. I just want her. I want what she is and what she can be. I want what she doesn’t like about herself and what she’s proud of. I want all the murky past and the bright future. I want everything. Right now.
“Fuck me, B,” I implore, my voice so thick with need I hardly recognize it.
She licks her pretty lips and looks deep in to my eyes; rich greens and hazel mesmerizing me as we get lost in each other.
“Always,” she tells me, making my head spin and then the rest of me follow as her fingers slip over my pussy once again.
I don’t have time to process her reply as she holds my arms up - keeping me under her control - and slides over and around me in every way that I need. Breathy moans tumble from me as I move to her rhythm and enjoy the sensation of her body now as close to mine as it can get as her lips find all the good spots on my neck. I wanna close my eyes, but I also need to keep looking at her. She’s still got her panties on; totally unacceptable, but there’s nothing much I can do about it right now other than tell her they need to go.
“B,” I say shakily as she dips a finger lower and teases my dripping hole. “B, get your fuckin’ panties off.”
She stops fingering me and looks up, a smirk on her face.
“You want my pussy, Faith?” she asks, as coy as anything.
If anybody else heard her talking like this they’d think I’d possessed her or something - with evil. But B’s not worried about talking like that to me now. She may act all coy about it to get me even more turned on, but she’s not shy when it comes to this. We got past that stage pretty damn quick.
“Fuck yeah I want it,” I admit easily, letting my eyes roam over the parts of her I can see.
Her hand tightens on my wrists; not enough to hurt by any means, but definitely a message not to try to move. The only moving I do is against her finger now teasing my pussy as she lingers just shy of entering me. Her fingertip swirls around me, getting me wetter and wetter as every inch of me reacts. Muscles straining and breath coming harder I bite my lower lip. I’m so close to just grabbing her and dropping us to the floor, but I wanna see what she does, and how this ends.
I know she can tell how close I am to cracking, but she stands her ground. I want her in me, on me, all over me, and it’s showing. I can barely keep still and my nostrils are flaring as I try to calm my breathing. All ‘cause of Buffy. She knows just what I want.
As if to demonstrate that, she pulls her hand away from my pussy briefly and slips out of her cotton panties. They hit the floor and I’m just about to give in to my basic urges and switch positions with her when she moves quicker than I anticipated. She kisses me – tongue and lips possessing me – and presses me up against the wall with her body. Her hand shoots down between us again and I fail to keep a girly gasp from escaping as her fingers slide through my wetness and end up inside me.
“Shit,” I breathe as she starts fucking me with her fingers.
I raise a leg, sliding up her thigh to hook round her hip as she pushes deeper with every thrust. If she even so much as brushes against my clit now I’d be coming all over, but she knows that and she’s staying away from it. Her fingers are doin’ a number on me inside, though. With each thrust she’s hitting my sweet spot and I’m getting more vocal every second. Good thing we’re alone.
“You still want my pussy, Faith?” she asks, whispering into my ear as she nuzzles against me.
As she asks she makes sure to rub up against my leg, spreading herself on me so I can feel how much she wants me. It makes me shudder and almost growl with desire.
“It’s so wet for you, Faith,” she continues, still rubbing slowly against me as her fingers slide in and out of me in a now torturous tease. “Do you wanna feel it?”
Again she’s whispering all sexy in my ear and I feel like the world shrank to just me and her, and nothing else matters. She knows I want to feel. I definitely want to feel. Getting her juices all over my fingers and tongue never gets old. I’m never gonna grow tired of slipping and sliding in her pussy.
I don’t answer with words, instead I capture her lips with mine, kissing her with everything I feel. Tongues dueling and bodies pressing together we get lost in each other’s breath, heat and sensuality. Her fingers stop moving temporarily, distracting me with desperation, but I don’t miss the fact that she’s now leading one of my hands down towards her. I let her guide me, feeling each time she trembles at my touch as my fingers graze her skin, over her nipple, down her stomach until she’s leading me right to the proverbial honey pot.
We all but fall against each other as my fingers glide in-between her folds, letting her juices spill out and my fingertips explore. Her body shudders against mine and her hand moves higher up my wrist; she’s still pushing on me though, telling me she wants me to fuck her, wants me filling her pussy with my fingers so she can come for me. I’m not about to protest, and I let my free hand find her lower back as I curl my fingers just right so I can slide inside her.
She grips tight to my shoulder as her fingers pick up pace again in my pussy. We fall in to rhythm with each other effortlessly, driving each other to the brink as we let go. The angle I’m coming at Buffy with is a bit awkward but we’ve been in much more awkward situations, and she’s not complaining. She’s dripping out over my hand as I fill her tight little pussy. Mouth open against my neck; panting breaths being blown against me as I wrap my leg tighter around her and take her fingers even deeper.
“Oh, God,” she mumbles into me.
I can feel her starting to come already so I start fucking her faster, harder, my palm brushing up against her clit in the small space between us.
It’s my turn to gasp and pant as she also finds my clit with her palm, rubbing roughly against it as we jolt against each other. Sending each other flying towards the inevitable we moan and gasp each other’s names, each cry a disguised token of our mutual love. Each shudder a confirmation of what we do for one another.
“Oh, holy fuck!” I pant as I slam up against the wall on the end of Buffy’s fingers.
We come together, pushing hard into each other and taking all, giving all. Feels like the first time, but never the last. I know we have more to give; not just now, but always. I just know.
“Mmm,” Buffy hums in contentment as we slip our fingers from warm, wet places. “Need to. . .upstairs,” she mumbles, nipping at my lips with hers as we steal lazy kisses, “so I can. . .tongue.”
Clearly comprehensible speech has taken a back seat, but I get the idea. She wants to go down on me, and neither of us are a big fan of carpet burns.
I smile against her lips and kiss her once more for. . .well, just ‘cause I love fucking kissing her. Then I take her hand in mine – sticky fingers entwining – and lead her quickly upstairs.
We get to the room in a rush and land together in a tumble on the bed, hands exploring and lips possessing until we’ve both found our mouths locked around hard clits with one goal in mind. To complete each other until we’re totally spent.
Of course, neither of us think twice about the fact our clothes are strewn around the living room as we sixty-nine the hell outta each other. Neither of us remembers that we only have so much time before everybody else gets home. And neither of us realizes there are footsteps coming up the stairs until it’s too late and we’ve come hard and loud just moments before.
As soon as we hear the accompanying voices we stop. We full on stop completely still.
“Crap,” Buffy squeaks.
“Buffy?” Dawn calls from the vicinity of the stairs.
“Oh, crap, crap,” Buffy repeats.
We finally move; Buffy spinning off me and grabbing at the sheet, then grabbing at a shirt on the chair right next to the bed. Then she just stares at me with her eyes wide.
“Buffy, are you home?” comes another shout. “Why are there clothes all over the floor down here?”
Too many people shouting and asking questions, and I can see Buffy diving deep in to panic mode.
“B,” I say, getting her attention. “Don’t worry. I’ll tell ‘em I was doin’ laundry and dropped some on the way. It’ll be okay.”
She looks down at me; gaze moving all over my body as if she’s wondering how the hell she’s gonna hide me under the small sheet that’s all tangled up under my legs. My legs that are still spread. Her gaze remains on me, taking in the sight of the sex we just had as it glistens on the insides of my thighs.
“I can’t do this,” she mutters, shaking her head. “I can’t. . .”
A little piece of me crumbles inside. No, strike that. . .a fucking huge chunk totally combusts and explodes into a thousand pieces. But I don’t say anything. This has always been her call. I’ve just tagged along for the ride.
Footsteps stop outside the door and I can almost feel the hand that reaches out to grasp the handle.
“Wait!” Buffy calls towards the door. “I’ll be out in a minute,” she says. “We’ll be out, I mean.”
I blink. Buffy blinks.
Dawn tentatively replies with an okay and retreats.
I blink some more.
“Faith,” Buffy says softly, her panic seemingly subsiding. “Faith, I don’t want to lie. Not anymore. I can’t do that anymore.”
My head nods in understanding but I’m not sure if I actually do. Did I hear her right?
A calm hand strokes up the outside of my thigh and I find the presence of mind to close my legs as Buffy looks into my eyes. She seems serious. Resolute.
“Can we tell them?” she asks, a hint of uncertainty in her voice. “Can I tell them that. . .you’re my girlfriend?”
Her voice quivers at the word, but it’s not a bad quiver, it’s just unsure. It’s just new. It’s something we haven’t called each other and a subject neither of us has really broached.
For a split second I hesitate as my mind tries to deal with the implications. This would be real. It would be a relationship that was open, out there, exposed and in the firing line to be judged. I don’t know if we’re ready for that.
But. . .I’m willing to take the chance. If she is, then so am I. If she can, then so can I.
“If it’s what you want,” I tell her, placing my hand over hers. “If you’re sure.”
Buffy bites at her lower lip and lowers her gaze from mine.
“If it’s not what you want I’ll. . .”
I stop her before she says anything more. There’s no point in beating around the same old bush again. We’re made for each other.
“Buffy, I’m crazy about you,” I say in a moment of honesty that has my heart pounding. “I’d jump through fire for you. I’d die a hundred deaths. I’d climb naked into a pit of fucking snakes. And yeah, I’d face the scoobs and everything they’re likely to throw at me for making you mine, which has gotta be a damn sight more scary than fire or snakes.”
She giggles at that, but I mean it. I can take whatever they say or do just as long as I know we’re making the right decision for the right reasons.
“Just. . .” I add after a few seconds hesitation, taking her hand in mine. “You need to know what you’re getting’ into. You need to know. . .that I’m in love with you.”
I dunno where the words came from but they spill from me easier than I ever thought they would. Maybe it was just time. All things have their moment in time.
Buffy’s mouth falls open a little and I wait for her to either pull away or give me permission to breathe again. I’m not expecting the world; I just had to let her know the truth.
“Then we should tell them,” she says, giving my hand a subtle squeeze. “I am yours, Faith. All of me.”
We both let out a trembling breath and I really wish that I could act all cool right now but the truth is. . .there’s no room for bullshit when your heart is completely exposed. Whatever anybody else says, I know how I feel, and I know how she feels. We need to be together. When we’re not together we fight, we ache, we fill up with hatred that taints everything we touch. The only solution is this.
I get to my feet and pull Buffy with me, never breaking eye contact for a moment. She instinctively moves towards me to be closer and my body hums with her presence.
“Let’s do this,” I say, half smiling and half grinning as I feel a sense of relief washing through both of us.
Buffy nods and we quickly find fresh clothes to throw on – a mix of mine and hers – preparing to face the final judgment. Whatever their thoughts are, whatever their fears, I know it won’t break us.
“Faith,” Buffy says as we’re about to leave the room, hand in hand. “Before we tell them, I need to tell you. . .” she turns me to face her, leaning up to kiss my lips just once, “I love you.”
Her lips on mine stifle the endless possibilities of dorktastic things I could say at that, but I have no doubt that she can sense the fireworks goin’ off inside me. The warmth spreading through my body. The hope settling at the tips of my fingers as we finally accept all that we’re meant to be together.
It feels like just yesterday that we were sitting on a bus bound for LA, bodies aching and barriers down. Only a blink in time from that first night to this. But we’ve healed each other and put the past to rest. We’ve opened our hearts, bodies and souls to each other. We’ve come full circle and done it right this time.
Sharing a smile – a happy smile – we walk down the stairs with our hands clasping tightly to one another. Ready to show the world how far we’ve come.