Music pumps through the club, making my hair stand on end and my chest pound to the hard beat. It's like a drug to me; wrapping me up in something that feels good, safe, and exciting all at once. I wanna close my eyes and raise my hands and move to every thud as it reaches inside me and lifts me up. I always loved to dance, and now I'm a slayer it means so much more. It's like giving up my power to the rhythm as it takes me where it wants to go. Fucking exhilarating – especially when Buffy dances right along with me, close enough to feel the heat radiating from her hot little body.
She doesn't wanna dance too much these days. It makes her feel guilty. She hasn't told me it does but I feel it – through our new and improved slayer senses with each other.
I watch her as she sits alone at a table; she's out of sight of anybody not looking, way at the back. She's staring out at nothing, her eyes sad, her hands limp on the table. She looks tragically beautiful – like a painting with a thousand stories behind it. A girl who feels the weight of the world crushing her, the pain of all the weakness around her, the truth in what the world is destined to be.
As much as I hate seeing her go off alone and lose herself to the past, I can't help but stand back and just watch sometimes. It makes my heart burn for her and I love the feeling. I hated it once. Hated it so much it helped me get pretty fucking insane. . .but now I need it, I long for it, and I know that she can sense it. She can feel my heart burning for her through the sadness that tries to wrap her up and haul her off, and it brings her back to me. To us.
I walk towards her, looking at nothing but her. Seeing nothing but her. Her eyes - soft and helpless – find mine through the crowd of dancers and I feel her calling to me. She's not speaking, not giving everything away, but it's there. It's been there for the past two weeks since we left Sunnydale as a big hole in the ground. It's me Buffy wants giving her comfort, helping her heal, helping her to keep believing in herself and everything she did. Everything we did. She hasn't said the words – it's all just a tug, a sense, a thing I can't define – but I know she feels more for me than I ever could have guessed. And I plan on being there for her every time she needs it. It's not like I have a choice 'cause I need it too.
Reaching the table I stand behind her, sliding in so my back is to the wall. She doesn't move at first but I see a faint smile creeping over her lips as her head turns a little my way. The stool she's sitting on puts her at just the right height for me to press myself comfortably against her back. I know she wants me to, I don't need to ask.
“Not dancing tonight?” I ask close to her ear, sending a shiver through her.
She told me the other night that she loves the husky sound I make when I whisper in her ear.
We've been doin' a lot of whispering between each other the past two weeks. Hot and heavy whispering, soft gasps and moans when we find someplace out of sight to be with each other. Nobody knows just how close we've gotten so it's all hush hush and secrets. I don't mind - I know she needs time to just do what she wants and needs without involving everybody that'll have an opinion on it.
“Maybe later,” Buffy answers, sliding her hand over mine where it's resting on top of her thigh.
She softly strokes her fingers over my hand and I take a minute just to bask in what I can feel through our stronger connection. There's so much want and desire there now – it grows every time we get intimate. It's not all I feel; she's opening up more and more and I know there's something more powerful underneath the layers she's trying to hide behind. Underneath the fear of wanting to love me back.
We haven't really talked about it – about any of this – but we don't need to yet. She knows I'm in love with her even though I haven't said it. I know she knows 'cause of the way she's treating me now. She touches me softly and whispers my name so freely when I'm making her come. She holds tight to me but gives me the room to feel comfortable when we get the rare chance to be in the same bed. She doesn't try to smother me, but every touch and every gesture tells me she knows. Every bite and scratch, every time it's hard and fast, every time it's soft and slow. . .shows me she feels it too deep inside.
“Want me to stay with you?” I ask, nuzzling against her ear in our hidden spot in the dark.
I don't really need to ask, I know what she'll answer.
She nods, and takes my hand in hers, holding it lightly, fingers playing with mine.
Buffy took everything pretty damn hard when we walked away from the rubble of Sunnydale. She's not over it and probably never will be, but every day gets that little bit better. Every day she can see the good we did. The good that she did.
The new slayers are still with us, not wanting to leave now they feel they have a real purpose in life. And we're getting calls from places all over the world – newly called slayers needing to touch base, to find out what's going on. Most of 'em had Watchers somewhere in their lives and they left numbers for them direct to Buffy. Buffy didn't know, but the Watcher's council still regarded her as the one. As the leader. So she gets to decide what to do about all the new slayers in the world now. . .and it's not easy.
Giles is taking a lot of the hard work on, explaining stuff to them and letting them know we'll be in touch. When we know what we're gonna do, what Buffy wants, there'll be a place for every one of them. Right now it's time to heal and put the past to rest, though. Me and B are doing that more than anyone. Healing each other.
From the moment we walked into Angel's hotel we knew we needed to stick by each other and work past all those big kinks in our relationship. It was hit and miss at first, but it's fucking worth it.
“I like watching them have fun,” B says, looking out at her friends, not needing to shout above the music, knowing I'll hear just fine. “Makes me feel young again.”
I chuckle and remind her she still is young.
“You know what I mean,” she says with a smile. “Yunno, before I died a bunch of times and made all those stupid mistakes I made.”
I know which mistakes she means – Angel, stabbing me, not getting to her mom on time, Spike, the people that died for the fight, all those and more. I keep telling her they're not mistakes and that they're all just part of life, and part of being the slayer. She doesn't listen and just shakes her head at me like I'm nuts. She thinks she's responsible for it all, but she's not.
“The only mistake you're making is not getting that you don't need to keep beating yourself up,” I say, soft but sure. I need her to know I'm not gonna judge her, especially after all the shit I did. “Beating you up is my job,” I add with a grin.
She laughs and turns around to face me. I have to back up a little way to give her room, but all I really wanna do is keep my body right against hers.
“You wish,” she says, her words playful as she says them through a smile.
Placing her legs either side of me, she gives me room to fit between them. I don't knock back the offer and get closer to her again, my hands on her waist, hidden behind the table. I have to try to ignore the fact she's wearing a real short skirt, but it's pretty damn impossible. Gotta admit I love being between her legs like nothing else. Feeling them hold me against her when we're gettin' wriggly is such a turn on, for both of us. Even just the thought gets me hot.
“You wanna make a run for it?” I ask, leaning towards her but making sure I don't get too close in case one of the gang gets curious. “Get some time alone?”
I wriggle my eyebrows and Buffy smiles her coy little smile that tells me that's exactly what she wants to do. To make sure I know what she's thinking – even though I can feel it already – she slides her hand across my stomach and down to the top of my jeans, pulling me a little closer to her by my belt buckle.
“I'd love to,” she says all sexily as she leans towards me, “but they'll wonder where we went and I don't feel like explaining tonight.”
I get it, and it's cool. The way she's looking at me isn't helping me cool down though, and her hand isn't moving from my belt. She swipes her tongue over her top lip, making me wanna jump forward and nibble on her lip the way she likes. I love the way she sighs for me when I do something she likes, it gets me so worked up.
Buffy closes her eyes for a second and I feel her fingers moving around under my belt.
“You're getting me all tingly again, Faith,” she says to me, looking into my eyes again and almost taking my breath away with how much desire I can see.
“You and me both,” I tell her, inching even closer and moving one hand down to her bare thigh. Just need to feel her skin.
We haven't been able to get enough of each other since the first time – too many slayers and scoobies around, and we're both having to share our rooms. We went three days without touching each other early this week and all I could do was think about her and want her. Soon as we were able to get some time together again, we went at it hard and heavy, fucking each other senseless in Angel's training room. We're lucky nobody came downstairs 'cause they woulda heard us for sure – we both came much louder than we'd meant to.
Buffy lifts her hand and touches my face and I forget to check if any of the gang is looking our way – pretty sure they're busy dancing though, and we're nice and hidden over in this corner.
“I wanna kiss you,” Buffy says, gazing at my mouth before dropping her hand again. “I wanna kiss you all the time.”
I instinctively lick my lips and notice that my hand has moved under her skirt just a little.
“We can't here,” I remind her, going by her rules.
I couldn't give a flying fuck if anybody knew about us, but I get why Buffy wants to keep it just between us right now. We don't need them all judging us before we know exactly where it's headed. She wants us to take our time, and I'm happy to go along. If she wants us to get our thrills together wherever we can without anybody knowing. . .who am I to say no? They're her friends and family, and I respect that she needs to keep it outta their lives for now. Not sure how I'd feel if she only ever wants to keep me as her dirty little secret, but I'm too far in to care right now.
Buffy moves a little on her stool, effectively giving me more room between her legs as her skirt rides even higher up. I can't help but look down between her legs and watch as my fingers creep further under the tight material. I know exactly where my fingers wanna be, and I know it's the same place Buffy wants 'em, but we've never done it in such an open place before. We've taken risks – big fucking risks just to get at each other – but this would be the biggest. I know what it is I feel coming from her though, and it's telling me she wants me. . .right here and now.
Her fingers glide along my belt, whispering against my skin before she moves her hand a bit higher, letting it disappear under my top.
“I can't stop thinking about last night,” she tells me. “It was so good.”
I nod and feel my panties getting damp. She came so hard in my mouth last night as I took her against some old tomb in the nearest cemetery to Angel's hotel. Some of the newbies had wanted to come along, but we blew them off. Wasn't long into the patrol before I was down on my knees in front of her, tongue in her pussy and her leg over my shoulder as I teased her until she yelled out my name.
She loves when I tease. I get her just right – knowing exactly when to send her over.
I've seen her at her most vulnerable – and I don't mean the times when we were fighting, or when I fucked her over by stealing her body, I mean when she's right on the brink of coming and I'm still holding back and teasing her. She starts grabbing hard at me and whimpering for me, and I hold off right until she practically begs for me to make her come. It's so fucking hot hearing her need me like that and want me like that. She says my name with so much feeling when she gives it up to me; makes my heart pound for her, yearn for her.
“Want me to lick your pussy again, B?” I ask, low and husky in her ear.
I hear her sigh all shaky and know that's exactly what she wants. She loves me going down on her. She told me it's the best she's ever had. . .and I gotta be honest and say she's the best I ever had too. Best at coming for me, and best at going down on me. Buffy was kinda hesitant the first couple of times, but then she got into the swing of it – fucking eats me like a pro now, and she seriously enjoys gettin' covered in me.
“I always want you, Faith,” she says, her lips close to mine. “I always did.”
My eyes flick up to hers and I see the truth in them. She's never said that before. Never quite admitted that this was always there between us. I wanna kiss her so bad right now, but I can't.
With her eyes fixed on mine I let my fingers travel the rest of the way up her skirt as she holds on to me – one hand under my top and the other at my waist. I can almost feel the heat coming from her and I know she's wet for me. She's always wet for me and it drives me wild.
I place my free hand on the table behind B and lean right into her, breaking eye contact so I can keep a look out and check nobody's coming our way. It's quiet and empty way back here but I ain't taking any chances.
“I wanna touch you, Buffy,” I tell her. “Wanna feel how wet you are for me.”
We both shudder as my fingertips brush over her panties in the small space between her legs.
“Very,” Buffy says breathlessly. “You always get me so fucking wet.”
Biting back a moan, I rub over Buffy's pussy through her panties, my fingers feeling just how excited I get her. She's dripping for me already and I can't help but respond the same way. If the club was a little emptier, and if her friends weren't all out there someplace, I'd get her to slide her hand into my pants so she could touch me too. One of us needs to stay at least a little focused, though.
“You gonna let me fuck you right here, B?” I ask hoarsely, my lips brushing over her ear. “Gonna let me make you come?”
I press against her clit and use the friction of her cotton panties to make her squirm. She spreads her legs some more for me and scrapes her fingernails over my lower back. Her breath is hot against me, and I can almost hear her heart thudding hard and fast over the noise of the music.
“Fuck me, Faith,” Buffy responds, gasping a little as my fingers slip under her panties and find their way between her slick folds. “Take me right here.”
I'm kinda getting used to how into the sex with me Buffy really is – especially outside where we could get caught – but it still sends a thrill down my spine when she says it to me. I know then that it's more than just a slayer-feeling I'm getting from her. . .it's real enough for her to say it, and to ask me.
“Fuck,” she gasps through her teeth as my fingers slide over her clit.
I slip and slide right over it, getting her nice and worked up as she starts to move against me. I know I could get her to come easily just like that. . .but I want more. I pull back enough to gaze into her eyes as I push lower down and let my fingers disappear inside her. She's so wet they go in easy, even though it's kind of an awkward sitch with her trying not to fall off the stool as she leans back a little way.
The hand that was on my waist goes up to my shoulder and I slide in and out of her slow and deep as she sighs. It's those fucking sighs that I love, all hot and heavy and making me feel dizzy with wanting her.
Being inside her never gets old. She's so soft and tight, and every time feels like the first. I speed up and push harder into her, feeling her fingers grip me and her pussy do the same. I could stand here and tease her and fuck her all night, but the chances of being caught are too high so I gotta make her come quicker than I normally like.
“You feel so fucking hot, B,” I say, making the table shake as I fuck her.
She tries to speak but it comes out as a moan as my thumb presses down on her clit and I start rubbing it nice and hard.
“Oh fuck,” Buffy sighs. “I'm gonna come.”
I grin and let my fingertips brush over her g-spot as I thrust into her, fucking her the way she likes, the way I've already learned how to do it best for her. She moans my name kinda loudly, surprising us both. I'd kiss her to keep her from giving us away so obviously, but that'd defeat the purpose 'cause then everybody glancing our way would see it.
“Faith,” she groans a little lower. “Faith.” This time with a whimper. “Oh, Faith!”
Buffy starts to shake and I know any second she's gonna be coming all over my fingers and I'll see what she really feels for me right in her eyes. She can never hide it when she comes. She's in love with me.
A surprised “Oh” over again lets me know when to wriggle my fingers inside her to get her coming hard. She sighs out my name and grips real tight, and just as I feel the flood of come seeping out of her I spot Xander walking towards us.
“Oh, shit!” I mumble, not wanting to move until Buffy's done coming.
She sees me staring over her shoulder and realizes right away somethings wrong.
“I think we got spotted,” I explain.
Her hands drop from me and I reluctantly pull my fingers out of her sopping pussy and out from under her skirt. I normally like to stay inside her a while, but her eyes are wide and she's already trying to turn around in her seat.
“Ew, sticky,” Buffy grumbles as she wriggles in her seat.
I move to her side and wipe my hand on my jeans as Xander jostles past people to get closer. I have to think quick 'cause B is still all out of breath and she looks like she just got fucked.
“I'll be back in a minute, baby,” I say, planning to intercept Xander on the way and figure out how much he actually saw.
Buffy looks at me with a little grin and I realize what I just called her. Kinda makes me feel embarrassed so I shake my head and chuckle. I've got it bad and she knows it. Thing is. . .I'm sure she's got it bad too.
There's no way I want her to be scared off from me, or get worried that it's the wrong thing to do, so I rush towards Xander and give him my best smile. I'll convince him he didn't see what he thinks he saw and me and B'll be able to keep doing what we're doing. . .or at least I hope so. I couldn't do without it now – I'm in too deep. We're both in too deep.
All I can do is hope it doesn't all turn to shit. It's been the best fucking two weeks of my life, and I don't want it to end.