21What difference, whether I say my eye is inner sight looking at its outer projection, or whether I say the phenomena of the world is reflecting itself off its own eyeballs made for the purpose of sight,----it is all the domain of Sight, the Seeable (Darkness) Matter and the (Light) Seeing, and all illusion, and therefore that explains Buddha's sayin "The essential nature of the inner perception of sight is reflection of outer sights" in so casual a way as tho it was all the same thing, which it is...sight is matter, seeing itself by eye-Karma.
22THE FALSENESS OF THE DUALITY OF MATERIAL AND IMMATERIAL Two Points
1.It is not an attribute of the solidity and firmness of objects that you are not supermicroscopic and able to wander thru them
2.Ignorance the first defilement (arising from the torment and mistake of some Fall) creates the false conception of invididuation of Light and Darkness; by the contrasts of these 2, form apperas shape invested with matter which perfectly out of emptiness accommodates the mold of being, just as electricity leaps out of empty space to accommodate the cause-condition axis of magnet and coil, or fire leaps to dothe chemic bidding of sulphur and motion; matter appears to be solid in its "filling" role but is in reality emptiness accomodating ingorance and defilements fromof; matter appears to be firm, but is physically interpassable; matter is energy, energy is motion, motion was stillness; all life in the world is as unreal as that.
25The destruction of the craving to satisfy the passion for tasty food will be easier when you cook your own tasteless meals
26PERSEVERANCE IN THE DHARMA OF NON REBIRTH "The first knot of false conceptions that must be untied, is the one relating to the false conception of an ego-personality, one must first of all attain a realization of its utter non-reality. When this realization of the unreality of one's own ego-personality or another's is perfecly attained, then the next knot to be untied is the one relating to personal attainments of any kind----this must be fully realized----the two must be utterly destroyed and never again permitted to rise to defile the ture Essential Mind"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The Incomparable Teaching of the Lotus FLower That, in the Essential Mind there is no such rising of an arbitrary conception such as that certain things are non-fantastic...is the greatest teaching because it ends teaching---"as gloriously enlightening as the diamond (vajra-raja), as mysteriously potent as Highest Samadhi...as suddently as a rap on the door (is the coming of its stroke of enlightenment)...the only path to Nirvana." For example, the perception of the discriminated-as-good taste of pan fried chow mein by me is manifested under the conditions of tongue---THE TONGUE IS IGNORANT---The chow mein is just a pile, but my fantastic conception of it holds it high, like the fantastic blossoms seen in the air by clouded eyes. We have to interpret reality by false expressions and illusions of non-reality, by activites of the mind, even intellectualism, but why raise these conceptions at all and thus sow the seed of false thinking in the immaculate uncontaminated Alaya Vijnana essence Mind. So as for the nature of emptiness inside empty reeds, my perceptionof how good chow mein tastes is neither really non-fantastic nor fantastic: my ignorance puzzles me in this saying,...Arbitrary conception of intellectual grasp destroyed hereby. Nothing matters---it doesn't matter.
Get rid of the contaminations of valuing the taste of food''''it's all the same in reality Of hearing the sound of music or noise Get rid of the contamination of valuing the taste of self_---it's all the same in reality_---Of hearing the sound of yourself or others The tongue is in a diseased condition Eye sees fantastic blossoms in the air Your ego-personality is a pile of shit Raised high by your conception of it Personal attainment is the working-out of this consequence of ego-birth, this fantasy, into the all-fantastic social world Everybody rushing around selling their pile of shit What difference is there between shit and gold? Shit on gold----shit is gold---goldshit---shit. A car has no shit when it loses its compression, It is just a pile of shit Shit on shit
And honor Mind.
27...The intrinsic nature of time is of the torment-essence, and the nature of torment is the real emptiness.
If emptiness was now and there was nothing to see, my eyeball would neither reflect outside objects, nor project its own inner light against the discriminating shadowiness of light-and-darkness in the outside universe, and it could only see fantastic blossoms (arising from its diseased sentient becloudment) hung in colorless emptiness appearing like the world's final phenomena. This is all you can say of "Reality." How can there be Reality when there was Emptiness before it and will be Emptiness after it---? Reality is a speck in my eye, and my eye is going Perception and Intuition sit in Emptiness eyeless.
29SIMPLY: There could be no thinking if everything in the world were being conceived of at its maximum frezy---no unconceived to catch the appearance of a conception.
SHADOW OF THE COMING AGAINST THE LIGHT OF THE GOING
30By living in solitude you will accomplish everything that there is in social life and more.
LOVE
It's becuase they're in love with themselves that they want you to look at them all the time and keep drawing your attention---in love with themselves and not with you, for if they really loved you they would not disturb your natural tranquility-- Therefore the most beneficial teaching in this world is the teaching by silence and example of silence and repose--- But some must bake the bread, and some eat it, and the bakers are agitated---Bake your own bread, calm baker--- If you dote on the love of a human being, eery tie you disturb him to draw attention to your loving, you do him a disservice as of hating---Beware of lechery and then beware of the conspiring earnestness. Be (for that matter) like a junk drunk punk, hang motionless in the waiting for time to wheel around. This is why a man doesnt need a woman, or a cigarette, or a house. He needs just food for sustenance to keep him together for the practice of emancipation from bondage to the world. Free will in the exercise of his thought, and thought is the shadow of action, which is a shadow also.
FANTASTIC EMANATIONS FROM THE WOMB
A mistake has been discovered at the heart of the universe, and its name is existence---Man is first to be notified and enlightened with the clear duty---"Undo thou it!"
Highest Perfect Wisdom is ANUTTARA-SAMYAK-SAMBODHI
31A cactus grove which has been desecrated of its fruit will fee you gladly like a woman, and hath thorns.
I am trapped in nature
I am expected to eat the blossom of the tree
Some reincarnated clothes fetishist
Chewing maniacally up the cloth of thought.
Nature is full of bullies who steal the little boy's kite.
32I'll go down to Mexico someday and live my own kind of healthy life---in hot sun every day, good selfcooked food at night, early long sleep---A selfsufficient practising Dhyanist in Mexico-----a selfish religionist resting-----a womanless man of Tao-----a thinker-----an amateur botanist studying texts and plant life harmlessly-----a novelist and teacher of the dharma-----only on trips to New York or home headquarters of family and publishers shall I revert to the Machine Age Orgonic Writer with the New Ribbon
Handcopied Manuscripts Writ in the Wilds
"Ignorance destroyed, then the constituents of individual life will die."
Destroy contact, then will end sensation."---BUDDHA CHARITA of ASVAGHOSHA
From the ANGUTTARA-NIKAYA (III)---"On Delusion (avijja) depend the (life-affirming) Activities (sankhara).----On the Activities depends Consciousness (vinnana: here, bebirth-consciousness in the womb of the mother).--On consciousness depends the Psycho-physical Combination (nama-rupa).----On the psycho-physical combination depends the Sixfold Sense-activity (chal-ayatana).---On sensorial impression depends Feeling (vedana).----On feeling depends Craving (tanha).---On craving depends Clinging to Existence (upadana).---On clinging to existence depends the Process of Becoming (bhava; here: kamma-bhava, or action process, or karma-action).----On the process of becoming depends Rebirth (jati).---On rebirth depends Decay and Death (jara-marana), sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair. Thus arises this whole mass of suffering. This is called the noble truth of the origin of suffering."
33"Practice, then, brotherly love, kindness, patience, long suffering, and gentleness"---EDGAR CAYCE
For the Layman: "The heart of the sons of men is full of evil, and madness is in their heart while they live, and after they go to the dead." and "Go they way, eat they bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God hat already accepted thy works. Let thy garments be always white; and let not thy head lack oil. Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of thy life of vanity, which He hath given thee under then sun, all thy days of vanity; for that is thy portion in life, and in thy labor wherein thou laborest under the sun. Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge nor wisdom, in Sheol, whither thou goest" --ECCLESIASTES
You have to do nothing Do-nothing you have to do
Steal no the other man's Substance
Or yours will surely sicken----
What kind of losing is that
When you accidentally
Give a little?
What kind of gaining
When on purpose you plot
To keep a lot --?
Gravestones in New York
Commemorate the Grave
Of Walt Whitman.
Forgetfulness acts fast to rob us of our gains in enlightenment. It's to learn to need nothing, becoming beyond nothing, that we now're learning to die.
34"There is no suffering for him who has finished his journey, and abandoned grief, who has freed himself on all sides, and thrown off all fetters."
"How is there laughter, how is there joy, as this world is always burning?"
35 Fragrance comes & goes But smelling is permanent
Noxzema and Peanut Butter are of the same intrinsic nature, but for the purposes of life on earth dont go tasting them to compare; leave that to non-discriminating infants fresh from eternity.
NOTHIN TO DO BUT DO THINGS RIGHT
KARMA
Everything that you got you had
Everything that ou didnt got
You didnt had
And the aggressive pusher
Who shoved you out of his way
To get what he thought he needed
Rots in theh same soul
And in the same soil
As you, O Saint
As Ecclesiastes so inescapably puts it:
"As it happeneth to the fool, so will it happen even to me; and why was I then more wise?" --0.12
Because all living things are of the same essence.
As far as ordinary life in America is concerned, for 2,000 years and much more than that old Indian mothers pounded cornmeal for mush in the hopeless drizzle of history here in North America; why should we therefore question ordinary simple life of eating, sleeping, keeping a shelter, in the name of "Modern" needs such as automobiles, washing machines, expensive clothes, up-to-date furniture and cultural excitements like TV and movies and every kind of unreal hassle to kill time and with all its attendant ambitions? What advantage is there in multiplying need? REST AND BE HAPPY
Learn to be bored and unhigh and unexcited or leave this world---What's fame and fortune but a big nervous binge? What have you got to do with what any of your friends think, Paisan?
Jewel sleep of Wisdom
Always swimming ahead in new time is frightening, because we cling to arbitrary conceptions of ourselves and of something happening to those selves, and all of it is tormented and unpredictable and sad.
38In your own imagination there's something to live fore-- if not in the "real world"---That's why outside events are really unreal.
Make simple people's earthy mentalities the discipline by which you keep your explanations of the Dharma clear.
Clear as the blue sky is the perfect accomodation of my intuitional camera registering scenes in the visions of this dream, in my lifework teaching-book to come.
All your life you lose, and then you die
And lose the losing too
WE'RE SWIMMING IN THE UNBORN, BORN
But I hope not to be reborn because I dont want it utterly and am begun on the effort to blow out my self like a candle.
39It must have been a cruel idiot who made the world, made life,---composite units that decompose and suffer in their consciousness of transitoriness and pain---a hell of a joke on us--Playing it on ourselves--we the Dharmakaya
40...;world has been wished forth by Ignorance and to ignorance returns inert, husk---no reasons given.
REASON IS NOT GIVEN---JUST INTUITION
And so, as Rabelais, as Omar knew, as Demosthenes knew, life has a rosier hue when ou drop a grape into the belly---life the tormented dreamform
How I love my father! How can you love something so phantasmal that doesnt exist?---how can there be something so phantasmal and inexistent as love? What is this compassion in a world of wheels and vibrations and levels? What is man who groweth a heart?
Of course I admire brilliant erudite queers---I admire all good things---I admire holes in the clouds----
For the same reason that I came 3000 miles to California I should have stayed home---for the reason that nothing is real. That was the overdoing of Buddhism in Jan.'54
And he grew that heart-- Beyond life and beyond this world, in Dharmakaya's Golden Silent Essence, Imageless, Serene, "What is there to praise?" ---Lankavatra Scripture
Life is a defilement of Mind Essence---
There's the frog-defilement
And the chicken-defilement
And mournful fish sucking water
And the defilement which is man;
Emancipation from form
Is the return to mind essence,
Emancipation from ego self
Manifested by the body one grows
And its consciousness of feelings
And its complaint with the mind.---
41Everybody's yelling "Not me! Not me!"
And pointing at the "External
Enemies of mankind,"
As if the Devil existed
And God the Indian Giver
Dead in a petulant grave.
When you feel depressed and you wanta go here, wanta go there, remember Mind Essence; the world, like dreams, will never come true. Operate on Intuition, Rest and Be Happy. IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD WHAT HAPPENS SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL THINK HAPPINESS
Use the shadows of the born
The shapes of the world
And pass them before the light
Of imagination's birthless ecstasy
A lotus blossom
instead of a cathedral
create
An ethereal flower
In the sky.
Airy, graceful, ethereal flower,
As ungraspable as dreams,
As solid as the actual world,
As mysterious as perception,
As clear as crystal sight;
Dont even notice the world
But use it for your flower;
Give the flower to the priest
And he will give you food.
You dont have to go to London and get high legally to change heads.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS DO THINGS RIGHT ---- Quietistic
Look and Close Your Eyes
Insincere and sad
The world's a farce
To stand and sneer at
On the corner of
Snare & Phnark
(Last Stanza of the Poem "Neal in Court")
I am Buddha come back in the form of Shakespeare for the sake of poor Jesus Christ and Nietzche . . .
. . .I'll become an Intuitional farmer . . .
42But let a perpetual smile of peace and satisfaction On your lips Be a symbol of the decision To think happiness (equanimity) Since everything that happens Happens in your head.
"Only madness could lead to war," says Eisenhower and everybody goes mad and fears the H Bomb---and the only way to avoid this madness, dont be afraid about death.
"Pagani"***means countryfolk---Jesus was of them, as of the Bedouin---it was for the Fellaheen to ignore Him---in India as well as Palestine---
45Bahia, let it be.
"A wheel of fire made by a revolving firebrand which is no wheel but which is imagined to be one by the ignorant . . .(cannot be said to be) not-a-wheel because it has not been seen by some." (!) --LANKAVATRA SCRIPTURE
46I am an appearance
We have words for things that are not, such as the hare's horns, or my million dollars, or the boy's vagina.
My mother's happness is the only thing tht really matters to me---yet I need rest and peace and hate to go to work for others for pay---If I can start to earn my living as a writer all will be well on earth for me. --But it is historically impossible for my work to be accepted, therefore I'll have to do wht I should do anyway, live in a shack in the woods alone.
* * * * *
In this world reflected in the mirror of Mind Essence, and therefore but an image and a dream, I am more Aremideia the floating essence recognition than I am "John Kerouac" that strange named object which is reflected and impermanent---If those who know me as John Kerouac and not as Aremdeia are in confusion and puzzlement, it is because they would discriminate on from the other, bothness and not-bothness, for all is God and I am God, I am All and God is All, and Aremideia is Everyone
Aremideia would write the "Duluoz Legend" first, to rid himself of his earthly attatchment and identity---Then, as he progresses in attainments, he'd write Tathagata Worlds---then Nothing---
I am only the substance of the name-word John Kerouac and not of any self caused self-substance
Was it ever, could it ever be said
. . . DEA A TRU . . .
THE TEENAGER NEXT DOOR
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
EASTER EVE 1954
49There is no such thing as no-birth, and all assertion as well as negation doesnt hold good; the world is like the birth and death of a barren-woman's child---
The mind-system is the source of the evil out-flowings---has a 5 sense-organ set with 5 minds combining to form the discriminating mind (ear-mind, nose-mind, touch-mind,---eye-mind, tonguemind) (5) . . . this mind is called MANO-VIJNANA
Dont think
(The dreams of sleep are made up of mental images abstracted from the images of the waking dream----The "solid objects" of the waking-dream are actually empty-spaced universes of molecules and atoms with protons-- )
IN PRACTISING DHYANA YOU FIRST REALIZE THAT THE WORLD IS A DREAM, THEN YOU TRANQUILIZE YOUR MIND AND LET THE DREAM FADE ALL AWAY (By meditating on mind-essence without forms).
50MIND IS OUTSIDE THE DREAM
MIND MANIFESTS THE DREAMS
Womb of Dream
* * * * * * * *
Always did know it was a dream, formed by the Good Lord, who is our biggest dream----Mind is not anthropomorphic, it is not God's brain, (imagine "God" having Mano-Vijnana and discriminating "good" from "evil"!), it is a word we hav for Allness Emptiness Essence Uncreated----In this sense only, I'd say, Mind is God----As long as they chant over an anthropomorphic "favors" God of prayer and karma-remorse they'll never understand the meaning of dream and the meaning of emptiness and the meaning of Nirvana, or heaven---
Elements of Ego are Dream
What more accurate description of processes of a dream (?)---than, "emptiness flowing to accomodate molds of form," the form the dream---cunning
51In Mexico, a life of leisure
* * * * * * * * * *
Life is an irresponsible dream.
"When it is recognized that there is nothing beyond what is seen of the mind itself, the discrimination of being a non-being ceases and, as there is thus no external world as the object of perception, nothing remains but the solitude of Reality"
Lucien's baby thinks it has self-nature; it has no more self-nature than the phantom water and the phantom earth (that combine in the routines of the seed with its inseeded karma) that'll make my beans grow; grown, to grown old and die, a painful dream for naught.
52All the Buddha-lands and assemblies await him who has turned-about deep within and ceased thinking the dream any further; him it is who then shines and transforms himself
EVERYTHING IS EVERYWHERE----so, if trucks disturb you on Atlantic Avenue let them not, for you are also on the other side of the world hearing other sounds
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
NO EGO
What is all this time?
* * *
The flavor of the world is misleading but sweet But you have to fight against people who are not only malicious and inexhaustible but believe in this in themselves . . . the truth of the necessity of falseness in impossible-to-continue individuality.
Shine alone, star . . .
53Use compassionate Tathagata means of communicating to the world according to the world's understanding----readers are little children, O Mournful One
TATHAGATA---thus-arrived
"Tics," or sudden clear flashes of dim memory, are hints from your intuitive mind demanding to be explained and taught outwards by your (working) discriminative manovijnana mind, for reasons of Dharma crouched in the great truth cloud in the center of the Essential Mind
"Conscious" and "Subconscious" Minds are irrelevant materialistic distinctions. Conscious mind is manovijnana in contact with Intuition and Essential Mind but lost in discrimination.
* * * * * * * *
The Spring phenomenom becomes the Winter noumenom---
The gist of Buddhism: neither grasp nor reject, but take what's given you.
As now, unreal and non existent, as in the future which I yearn to manifest with a thousand arbitrary plans for Carolina, Florida, France, California, Lowell, Mexico, I will then still be unreal and non-existent--- the future is an evanescent dew, a shadow, a lightning flash, just as the past, just as now---I shall no more worry about "life plans"---CLINGING NO MORE TO THOUGHTS OR PLACES OF YOURSELF THERE OR HERE
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
THE HEART OF THE DIAMOND SUTRA
The dhyanist is not just a man
DHYANA---SUCHNESS DREAMING
54ALL THINGS ARE DEAD IN A DREAM
The Diamond Statement
"Dead eyes see"---Ginsberg 1949
"The soul is dead"---Kerouac 1949
"And so and so and so---and blow and blow and blow"---Cassady 1949
55 The world is . . . Dharmakaya emanating error
The world cannot deny the truth
Cynicism is most pitiful of all.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Little kids in movies dont dig the love scenes, or smoke cigars, or get mad in politics . . . they dont discriminate the error of the elders yet, only their own childish, near pure error.
Women should make love
Abandon pride of life and you will be free as water to flow to the dream of the lake of the mind where maya is shining and shimmering--
If everybody realized Nirvana
LOVE IS DEAD, that is, it is not alive but pure manifestation from mind, pure dream---Essential Mind is empty and dead in repose in eternity.
MANO-MAYA-KAYA---Mind-vision-body
Buddhism is the gradual becoming-intelligent of the participants of the dream so that it may be eventually awakened from.
56
TO JOHN HOLMES
Life is truly mortem vitalem, the living death
SAYS THE SIXTH PATRIARCH: "Our goal may be reached whether we turn to the right or to the left."
57 "Calm and Void"
Breeze in the tree
The world is an appearance
The bread I eat is an appearance
All wish't forth from Mind Essence
Due to Ignorance---
I dont have to exist
I dont exist, I do exist---
For the purposes of this world
Do nothing
Or do everything anyhow.
WORDS ARE SWEET SOUNDS FOR OBJECTS UNREAL
that God has a soul?
Everybody that's young
Is supposed to be a hoodlum---
With awful cars
It broke my heart in the rainy night to see the glazed Easter Egg cakes in the bakery. . .the kindness of hope of poor people trapped in this world so unreal that tonight, napping fitfully, I heard my mother talking to me about the same thing on both sides of Eternity during which I was unconscious, asleep, and thought all infinity had pass't, but in "reality" it must have been 15 seconds or so. . .that therefore she thought she was talking to "me" breaks my heart, for I love the world and the people in it because they are really so sweet, helpless and lost---and I wish I could do something to ease their fears, for mow I'm convinced that there's absolutely nothing to fear---sadness yes, and no name to it---What I wish I could do, that would be of use, or good, beneficial, does not exist in this mortal sea---- My mother talking "to me" to and into the Void--O---
Tathagata in Us All
The Lord Hath Mercy
And then then next day, for no reason, I became bored and even morose and willfully decided to be morose and yelled a little at my mother and said vague unkind things to the little girl, forgetting compassion of yesterday, like an ashen-faced Dostoyevskyan hero lost in uncomprehension & spite
"For the puposes of this world,"
But
"For the purposes of this dream"---
Life is a "hardened dream"---
Mind is neither a dream, or
not a dream---
But unborn Emptiness
Making vacancy
For ignorance dream.
FROM THE SUFFERING DREAM WE'LL GO TO THAT UNDREAMED EMPTINESS
& delicacy & solitude
& art perhaps--
A printer in Mexico City,
Proprietor of the Beautiful Press,
publishing saints only. . .
First issue will be
HUNCKE: "Sing Sing Visions"
CASSADY: "The First Third"
BURROUGHS: "Naked Lunch"
GINSBERG: "Acavalna the Cave of Night"
SOLOMON: "Buddha's Madhouse"
KEROUAC: "Doctor Sax"
FITZGERALD: "Mad Murphy and Mighty Mike"
The issue to be call'd "Six Unpublished Saints" with a big Number 1
Just as varieties of objects are seen and discriminated in dreams and in visions, so ideas and statements are discriminated erroneously and error goes on multiplying." (Lankavatra)
"There are. . .popular preachers . . . who are skilled . . . in the art of eloquence; . . .What ones gains from them is emotional excitement and wordly enjoyment; it is not the Law. . . . the mere prattle of a child . . . with his dualistic views not understanding himself, that there is nothing but what is seen of the mind" . . . . . .
I am absolved of the responsibility for the loathesomeness of my ody because it is not mine, is not self-caused, has no self-nature, would not get sick of its own accord, and decay against my wishes, and is empty and a dream, the same as if I had the prettiest body in the world---
"This love"---it's infatuation
based on pride based on envy.
I dont know what to do with it.
This time is always and I know it.
"There is just no time and we know everything."
I dont know the answer to the burden of time---
it is simply a burden---TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE OF DHARMAKAYA
Stars shine alone.
SUGATA------well-arrived
Unconscious Mind is manovijnana asleep, uncensored, discriminating drunkenly. Asleep means adreaming in the habit-energy flow of thoughts.
Bleary sleep, tormented dreams
ALAYA VIJNANA, is the Ground of Intuition
"Cease to cherish any arbitrary conceptions as to your own self, the selfhood of others, of living beings, of an Universal Self."
(and any arbitrary conceptions as to the non-existence of these, too.)
in a trance, which is the appear-
ance; it is All-Things realizing
itself a dream without limit and
selfhood and selfnatured thingness.
NOTHING'S ALIVE
FOR THE UNIVERSE
IS A DREAM
ALREADY ENDED
with its intuitive mind,
only with mano vijnana of day-by-day
which is also used for scoffing,
passion, attachment to things,
greed, rage, cynicism
because of eternity not
of birth, have no children
& cling to no possession--
this they will never do
because they are they
instruments and vessels of
human pain incarnate,
wombs of suffering, put
forth by harsh yang to
practice tender yin for yang
ALAYA VIJNANA RADIATING VISIONS
nobody would be worried
and everything would stop.
Rich or poor,
Beat or unbeat,
what really matters,
is the Tao,
the stretch,
the pity.