Four Horsemen Fantasy Football Week

Four Horsemen Fantasy Football Week

Standings

Ric Flair Division

Team

X - El Chupacabra

903

910

Fightin' Roos

958

983

Battlin' Wookies

988

1018

Sunshine Band

894

949

Fighting Bass

852

993

Arn Anderson Division

Team

Lady Pioneers	8	2	0	1070	934
River Bats	7	3	0	1037	934

Goodfellas

942

918

Sweet Chin Music

999

998

Corporate Raiders	2	7	1	1007	1023
X - Clinched playoff berth

Week Ten Results

Lady Pioneers	85	Sunshine Band	71	The Lady Pioneers now have the league's best record with the lowest winning score.
Corporate Raiders	143	Fightin' Roos	96	I'll tell ya. When Jim turns it around, he really turns it around.
River Bats	137	Battlin' Wookies	109	The Bats keep pace with the Lady Pioneers by scoring a season high.
Goodfellas	136	El Chuapcabra	47	Cliff told me if he had to lose it should be to Doc; I'm sure he didn't mean that he wanted to lose this badly.
Sweet Chin Music	98	Fighting Bass	72	The Fighting Bass are officially eliminated; and they're also probably officially the worst team in the league

Week Eleven Games

Team	Team	Line	Comments
Sunshine Band	Fighting Bass	Band 10	After a very rough start, the Band is back in the middle of things. They've got a very good shot at making the playoffs at only 1/2 game out of third place. They lost last week due primarily to Aaron Brooks getting no help from the rest of the club. Ahman Green suffered from the game that Najeh Davenport had. Quite surprisingly, Eddie Kennison was the second best player on the team last week, which is something that folks don't ever really expect. Also, they haven't really lost any ground in the last two weeks despite the fact that they've scored less than 150 points combined. The Bass are falling fast and can easily be called the worst team in the league at this point. That's particularly impressive considering that they have the best player in the league.
Fightin' Roos	El Chupacabra	Roos 5	A victory by El Chupacabra would clinch the Flair division title with two weeks to play. Still, I've gotta tell you that they seem a pretty weak 7-3. And, let's not ignore the fact that they lost by 90 last week. In Cliff's defense, the team was playing quite shorthanded. That's a thing of the past now, as the NFL has completed the bye week season, so no one has any excuse for playing like crap from here on out, well except for the fact that their team might suck. Speaking of teams that looked like they might suck, the Roos were terrible early on, but as usual, we get to the end of the season and they're once again above .500 and in contention.
Battlin' Wookies	Goodfellas	G'fellas 15	The Goodfellas are really becoming a thorn in my side, trailing the Bats by only one game despite scoring 100 less points this season. This is despite the fact that they've been very mediocre and their owner has admitted that they've been very mediocre. I do appreciate them trading my starting quarterback to me. That was quite nice as Vick's been pretty damn good except for last week. The Wookies have been up and down as is to be expected for a club with Marshall Faulk and the year he's having. I hear rumor that Faulk is going to be out this week, which threatens to cripple the chances of the Wookies who have the Sunshine Band hot on their heels for third place.
Lady Pioneers	River Bats	LP 5	Now this one is a big game. It's a really big game for the River Bats, who have statistically been the second best team in the league this year, but still only have a game lead over the Goodfellas for third place. They've also got a two game lead over the Sweet Chin Music for third place, so it's conceivable that they could go into the tank here and not even make the playoffs. If the Bats win, both clubs will be tied for the division lead and will have split the season series and it will go down to total points. Right now, the Lady Pioneers have scored 33 more than the River Bats. Also, they're on pace to have the highest scoring average for a season in league history. This is all from a club that was picked to finish last in the league by the computer after the draft.
Sweet Chin Music	Corporate Raiders	CR 5	Sweet Chin Music has scored exactly one more point than they've allowed this year. They're also hanging around in the Anderson division. The Corporate Raiders have had the most remarkable season that I've ever seen. They're third in the league in scoring, and they been outscored by their opponents by a total of sixteen points for the season, but they've only got a 2-7-1 record. Things were worse a few weeks ago, so I guess there's something positive. Sweet Chin Music is still in this, but they've scored fewer points than the Corporate Raiders, who are 1-0-1 in the last two games. They really need a win here. Brett Favre has been incredible this year, especially with the injury he's had. It's too bad that he hasn't gotten much help from the rest of the squad.

Last Week's Record 3-2; Season Record 30-15

Rosters

	Fightin' Roos		Fighting Bass		El Chupacabra		Battlin' Wookies		Sunshine Band
	Owner: Stacey Johnson		Owner: Mark Cardwell		Owner: Cliff Ely		Owner: Tim Whiting		Owner: Casey Chalmers
QB	Peyton Manning	35	D McNabb	29	Jeff Garcia	13	Rich Gannon	38	Aaron Brooks	25
RB	Charlie Garner	8	Priest Holmes	11	Jerome Bettis	0	Curtis Martin	15	Eddie George	8
RB	Garrison Hearst	15	Lamar Smith	15	Anthony Thomas	16	Marshall Faulk	7	Ahman Green	7
WR	Ed McCaffrey	5	Tim Brown	4	Corey Bradford	2	Travis Taylor	11	Rod Smith	7
WR	Torry Holt	11	Kevin Johnson	0	Donte Stallworth	12	Rod Gardner	16	Qadry Ismail	1
WR	Tai Streets	4	L Coles	8	James Thrash	0	Bobby Shaw	6	Eddie Kennison	14
TE	Tony Gonzalez	0	Marcus Pollard	1	Anthony Becht	0	Bubba Franks	11	Randy McMichael	1
K	Adam Vinateri	16	Olindo Mare	4	Jeff Wilkins	4	M Vanderjagt	4	Jason Elam	4
DL	Jason Taylor	0	Shaun Rogers	0	Grant Wistrom	0	Kevin Carter	0	Mike Strahan	3
LB	Zach Thomas	2	Jamie Sharper	0	Roosevelt Colvin	0	Ray Lewis	0	Chad Brown	0
DB	Ty Law	0	Samari Rolle	0	Sammy Knight	0	Champ Bailey	1	Rodney Harrison	1
QB	Jim Miller		Drew Bledsoe		Tom Brady		Kerry Collins		Brad Johnson
QB	Chris Weinke		David Carr		Joey Harrington		V Testaverde		Drew Brees
RB	James Stewart		Trung Canidate		Travis Henry		Clinton Portis		Other R Williams
RB	Warrick Dunn		Stephen Davis		TJ Duckett		Stacey Mack		Jamel White
WR	Joey Galloway		D Alexander		Eric Moulds		Kyshawn Johnson		Bobby Engram
WR	Bill Schroeder		JJ Stokes		David Patten		Darrell Jackson		Terry Glenn
TE	Ken Dilger		Jay Riemersma		By Chamberlain		Eric Johson		Freddie Jones
K	Doug Brien		Kris Brown		Phil Dawson		Joe Nedney		Jay Feeley
DL	Mike McCrary		Chad Bratzke		Trevor Pryce		Hugh Douglas		Leonard Little
LB	Michael Barrow		Sam Cowart		Kendrell Bell		Dat Nguyen		Ron McKinnon
DB	Roy Williams		B Westbrook		Lawyer Milloy		Tyrone Williams		Donovan Darius

	River Bats		Corporate Raiders		Lady Pioneers		Sweet Chin Music		Goodfellas
	Owner :Jeremiah Bentley		Owner: Jim Morris		Owner: Kirk Short		Owner: Kris Montgomery		Owner: Steven Dougherty
QB	Michael Vick	35	D Culpepper	10	Trent Green	16	Brett Favre	34	Marc Bulger	48
RB	L Tomlinson	20	Shaun Alexander	16	Deuce McAllister	22	Antowain Smith	6	Corey Dillon	15
RB	Jamal Lewis	25	Tiki Barber	23	Kenny Watson	8	Ricky Williams	8	Fred Taylor	16
WR	Randy Moss	8	Marvin Harrison	25	Terrell Owens	7	Jerry Rice	22	Amani Toomer	14
WR	Hines Ward	24	Isaac Bruce	34	Donald Driver	13	Jimmy Smith	6	Joe Horn	10
WR	Troy Brown	11	Marty Booker	6	Chris Chambers	4	Curtis Conway	2	Derrick Mason	10
TE	Billy Miller	1	Mikhael Ricks	6	Jeremy Shockey	1	Shannon Sharpe	1	Todd Heap	6
K	Todd Peterson	6	Ryan Longwell	17	David Akers	7	Matt Stover	8	Mort Andersen	8
DL	Julius Peppers	3	Courtney Brown	0	Marcellus Wiley	0	John Abraham	6	Andre Carter	3
LB	Derrick Brooks	0	Jason Gildon	6	Patrick Kerney	6	Joey Porter	4	Brian Urlacher	5
DB	Lance Schulters	4	Donnie Abraham	0	Mike Brown	1	Ronde Barber	1	Troy Vincent	1
QB	Steve McNair		Jake Plummer		Shane Matthews		Mark Brunell		Kurt Warner
QB	Jay Fiedler		Quincy Carter		Brian Griese		C Hutchinson		Tim Couch
RB	Thomas Jones		William Green		Edgerrin James		Kevan Barlow		Michael Bennett
RB	Mike Alstott		Duce Staley		Michael Pittman		Emmitt Smith		Olandis Gary
WR	David Patten		Steve Smith		Peerless Price		Az Hakim		Plaxico Burress
WR	Antonio Bryant		Anton Freeman		Koren Robinson		Quincy Morgan		M Muhammad
TE	Frank Wycheck		Chad Lewis		Alge Crumpler		Cam Cleeland		David Sloan
K	Mike Hollis		Paul Edinger		Neil Rackers		Mart Gramatica		S Janikowski
DL	Greg Ellis		Joe Johnson		Simeon Rice		Warren Sapp		Jevon Kearse
LB	Dexter Coakley		Peter Boulware		Keith Brooking		Dwayne Rudd		Takeo Spikes
DB	Ed Reed		Fred Smoot		Delthea O'Neal		G Wesley		Chad Scott

Random commentary

So…have you ever wondered what it would sound like if a video about a foul mouthed talking lobster was run on TNT and edited for language??? You haven't? That's almost unbelievable. Now, please read and enjoy the below story. Credit goes out to The Onion for the original.

Oh Man, Just Wait Till I Get These Fargin' Rubber Band Off! - by Freddie the Lobster

Oh, man. You just caught yourself a whole mess of trouble, pal. Believe it. I don't think you realize who you're dealing with here. You might have me in the tank for now, but just wait 'til I get these flipping rubber bands off.

That was some cheap move, capturing me in some trap. You didn't have the guts to come looking for me yourself, 'cause you know you wouldn't last five minutes in the depths where I live. But you knew exactly what would make me come sniffing around, and you set me up good. Well, chalk one up for you, mister, and enjoy it, 'cause it's the only one you're gonna get.

Come on. Take the funning rubber bands off, I flirking dare you. Just the left one, the one on my little claw. I'll make you wish you were never born.

I know what you think of me. I disgust you. You don't like my kind. I'm a bottom feeder, no better than a cockroach. "You should see how they live, what they eat," you say. "They use those claws mostly on each other, fighting over the women. And their brains are tiny." Well, I'll tell you one thing: My brains are a heck of a lot bigger than your marbles, you trap-using lady part.

And they say we're the spineless ones.

You thought you were in control, but now you're not so sure. Can you really afford to do this? Am I going to be more trouble than I'm worth? Well, pally, it's gonna be a square bit of work, I guarantee you that. More than you've ever had for a piece of tail. You thought you wanted the biggest and best, but now you're realizing that, pound for pound, you just bit off more than you could chew. Better take off that fancy dinner jacket, pal. We're going at it hammer and tongs, you and I. And when the steam clears, there's only gonna be one of us moving.

So come on. Take the rubber bands off. Take them off, Mr. Fancy. I'm feeling salty. Mano a mano, sucker. Let's go.

Leaving them on, huh? I knew it. I knew you were too big a coward to square off with me on a level playing field. And giving me to your woman to play with first! That takes the cake. Say, is that supposed to be me on your bib? It better stinking not be. I've never worn a fruity mustache or a flimsy chef's hat in my life. Or rubber bands, either. I'd kill you with my two bare claws, if only I had the chance.

I don't know why you dragged me and those other guys in here. I'm sure you had your reasons. Maybe that's how you get your kicks—lure us in, set the table for a nice night, then get things simmering. You turn the heat up gradually, figuring we might not even notice at first. Then, you think, we'll show our true colors, maybe even squeal. Well, I ain't never gonna squeal. And I might get steamed, but I'll never get soft. You better have some special stuff if you want to crack me. I don't crack easy. And you won't hear a peep outta me no matter what you do. That story's for the sob sisters and the tourists.

I'm giving you one last chance. We can do this the gentlemanly way, both of us with our appendages free, or we can do it the ugly way. You wanna see things get ugly? Because I promise that they will if you come anywhere near me with those tongs. Rubber bands or no rubber bands, you are going down, buddy. I am one bad example of my type, and it won't be me in deep dip when this is all over.

Oh, you al hole. You gutless chick. You can bite my rear.