11/24/02 -I am 5 months postop and my appetite is no where to be found. I'm very happy that my appetite is not back yet. I still have 50 pounds to lose til I am at my goal weight of 165. My appetite can stay gone for all I care. I eat because I know if I do not eat I will be run down and sluggish. I am never hungry. YEAH!!!. I dread the day my appetite comes home. I hope you all are doing well. I miss you all. I want to lend a supporting hand to anyone who is in Dallas/Ft.Worth or surrounding areas who are in need of support through this process. I am not here to tell you what you should do or what surgeon you should pick or what surgery you should have. I am offering to be a friend and confidant and support you through this process. Even if you are not sure of the surgery sometimes it just helps to talk about your feelings with someone who has gone through what you are going through. I know I would not have been able to make it through this journey without all of you. Take care and have a great week and a Happy Turkey Day...Love you all.
12/15/02 - Hello everyone. How are you? I hope everyone is doing well and getting all shopping done. I am praying for insurance approvals and surgery dates and speedy recoveries. I am going to Lane Bryant today to shop my heart out. I am now 210 and a size 16 and 18 in some things because of my hips and redundant skin. Shirts I wear 14-16, but because of arms and redundant skin I feel most comfortable in big baggy shirts. I am loving life and the change in the way people treat me. I have also learned to forgive people for the way that they use to treat me. I know that society as a whole has been told that it is ok to treat obese people the way they do. I am not saying it is ok, I am just saying I have learned to forgive ( NOT FORGET). I hope that all of you are getting the love and support that is needed to go through WLS. I am going to visit the rest of my family in Mobile, Alabama December 25th-Januaty 1st. They have not seen me since surgery. I am so happy that I am now a happier healthier person. I am 45 pounds away from goal weight of 165. I LOVE YOU ALL..
4:56 pm - I am back from the chiropractor. She took xrays and I did back therapy with this table with automatic rollers under and ice and heat and these electrodes that go on my back and send a shock. It sounds awful, but it felt marvelous. She then put this icy stuff that tingles on my neck and massaged it and then popped my neck back shoulders and it felt ohhhhh so good. My pain has subsided for now atleast. I am going to go every other week. She said that my xrays shows that my back is somewhat bad. Not real bad, but bad. She said it has to do with years of carrying the extra weight. I am somewhat permanently slumped over and she could see that in my xray. She aske me how big I was before and how my stomach hung. Being the perfect WLS enthusiast I am I pulled out before pics and showed her. She said that is what caused the slump because my stomach use to be in my lap. She said it would take a year or two for that to go away. She said all the areas of where the weight was is where I have the pain. I now have a legitimate reason for reconstructive surgery. She said the redundant skin is only making things worse. When I am ready she is more than happy to write a letter or sign a letter that I write. I am so happy. I wish you all success and happiness. I love you all.
12:57 pm - Hey you all. I just love you all so much I can't stay away. Once again thank you all for the encouraging emails. I am truly loved and blessed. You all are so wonderful. I have decided while working out this morning at the gym that I am going to become a personal trainer. While I still have 38 more pounds to lose and tons of reconstructive surgery to do. I am going to start the process for training at the Cooper Institute in Dallas. It is not cheap, but it will pay off. I will get a chance to do something I now love, working out and helping others at the same time as well as make money while I am in school. Never ever thought loving to work out would be coming out of this mouth. lol. I am having such a great day. I have so much energy today I think I will go back to the gym and work out some more. It is the weirdest thing. In the beginning of my WLS journey I was really dreading the whole exercise portion of this. I was embarrassed of being so big and being seen in weird positions with equipment trying to work out in the gym. Now I do not care who sees me because I am healthier and doing this for me and no one else. The self-esteem I have now is through the roof. The energy level now is through the roof. I could not have given myself a better present. I LOVE YOU ALL. Have a great week.
I never would have done any of this if it had not been for WLS, losing the weight (my shame), and getting my self-esteem back. I have no fear now. I am the most aggressive person I know now. Me being aggressive at this stage in my life is a good thing. If I want something I set my goals and I go for it. I am also going to be training soon to get certified to become a personal trainer and I am oh so excited about that.
Things in life are happening for me. Not just because of the WLS, but because of how I handle myself and how I choose to live my life. I have heard stories of people losing the weight and becoming drug addicts, alcoholics, lost in life or worse. Those things can happen to anyone regardless of the situation, but it all has to do with how you handle your life and how you deal with the pain. It is all about choices.
Today I chose to live a normal, healthy, and positive life. I choose to have positive, healthy people around me. I choose to live the kind of life I have always wanted. I am so happy that you are all here for me to read your stories. I got on the scale this morning and I am now 202. 103 pounds lost since 6-6-02.
I am on a plateau from hell, so I will increase my workouts to six days a week for two hours instead of my usual 4 days a week for two hours. My water, protein, and vitamins are all being taken in appropriate amounts. My body is just slowing down. PLEASE TELL IT TO STOP DOING THAT. I hope you all have a great week. I LOVE YOU ALL.
P.S. At least this year I know I will fit in the desk.lol.
All you post op people you will accomplish all of your goals that you have set for yourself if you just remember to believe and to use your tool effectively. We all have plateaus that is just a part of life (even people who have not had WLS have them). I had an amazing work out today. I was at the gym for two hours and 15 minutes and did not want to leave. I knew I had to leave though because I have homework. All of you keep your head up and be proud. You are all doing a great job. I LOVE YOU ALL.
All of my goals are being met and all of my dreams are starting to come true. I am so grateful for Dr. McCarty and his magical hands,his medical knowledge, and most importantly his heart. It takes a special person to take on a role in helping people regain their health and their life back. He is the best and the greatest. Thank you so much. I will never be able to repay you for all that you have given me. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I am seven months out from Lap RNY w/ gall bladder removal and so far have reached all of my goals that I have set for myself. I started out June 6, 2002 weighing 305 and now weigh 199. I use to wear a size 28 and now wear size 14 (large in stretch pants and shirts) in shirts and pants. I was not active at all before surgery and now I work out 5-6 days a week for two hours and May 12-16, 2003 will become certified to be a personal trainer.
I was laid off December 20th 2002 and am now going to school fulltime taking my prerequisite classes and next year will be going to nursing school. All of these things never would have even been a possibility for me if I had not lost the weight. I would not have lost as much as I did and know that it was not coming back if I had not had WLS. I use my tool the way that it is suppose to and I get results.
Yes, I have plateaus like everyone else, but I know that if I do all of the things I need to do the weight and inches will come off. WLS is not easy. It is not just something you just wake up one day and say oh I think I will just have WLS. You have to do your research. I researched for six years and had a battle inside myself over the choice of having WLS before I came to the conclusion that I had no where else to go, I was slowly, but surely killing myself. I believe can’t just have WLS and eat the same way you do and not be active and think the weight will come off. You can out eat WLS and sabotage yourself. You have to get your mind right and work on your eating habits before WLS in order to succeed. I believe WLS is 80% mental and 20% physical. These are just my beliefs and everyone does not share them.
I was not the poster child of Health and Fitness before weightloss surgery. I ate fast food breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I never exercised or walked for fitness reasons. I always parked close to a building and planned my route before going to places so that I did not have to walk for miles and be embarrassed for not being able to walk far or not be out of breath. All of that has changed. It has changed because I came to the conclusion that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of being overweight and unhealthy. I have my life back and for that I am grateful. I also have you all here supporting and motivating me everyday to be the best person I know how to be Thank you. I LOVE YOU ALL.
Going to a ballgame and not being able to fit in the seats…Embarrassing
Being told by a stranger at the grocery store to go on a diet “You Fat Pig”…. Painful
Having the words FAT COW shoe polished on the window of your car at your high school…Devastating
Having your Dermatologist tell you that you look great and don’t need to lose much more, you already have that thin look…Priceless
My day started out by going to the gym and working out for two hours. After my shower I went to Lane Bryant to buy clothes (they had a 9.99 sale) after spending 55.00 (used my 25.00 off of 75.00 or more coupon) and bought 4 shirts 1 pair of jeans and a skirt. Went to see Dermatologist for my rashes and irritation on the redundant skin areas. She told me I looked great and that I look like I don’t have much more to lose. She told me that I already have the thin look. I laughed at her. Me, thin yeah right. She made my day whether she knows it or not. I had school after that from 2:00-3:20. My day was a very good one. Take care and have a great week. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I am not where I need to be mentally yet on acknowledging my beauty. I still see myself as 305 pounds. It is really amazing how the mind works. I know I am no longer Morbidly Obese. I know I wear size 14/ Large and no longer have to shop at plus size stores. I know in one week I will no longer be Obese and will just be Overweight according to my BMI, but I still feel HUGE. I feel ugly. I still feel like people are starring at me. I still feel like I have to hide from the rest of the world. Even though I do not hide from the world, I go out, am in college, work out in a public gym 6 days a week with gorgeous people, travel with friends, enjoy life now. I still feel that I have to hide from others so that they will not see my shame.
For years I was always the biggest girl in my class, the department stores, state fair, movies, concerts, airplane, bus, swimming pool, neighborhood. I was always the one people made fun of. When I was in high school stuff was always shoe polished on my car referring to how fat I was or how I looked like a pig or a cow or a hippo. I was always the one handsome guys would ask out as a joke and have the whole school laughing when I got excited and then the guy would laugh in my face and cut me down in front of everyone.
I was always the best friend who would listen and give advice because I had no life and lived through my skinny friends. I was the one that everyone wanted to hang out with because I was so funny . I had to develop a good sense of humor because I was so big that if I could not laugh at my life or myself I would have nothing to do, but cry over all the injustice and pain in my life. I had to put on the facade that nothing bothered me. I had to be strong. If things went wrong in my life it was because of my size. It was because I was not skinny. I was an emotional mess as a young adult. My life was crap. I never felt that way while I was living it but, as I look back on my past, I feel so sad for myself as a child/teenager/young adult. I was really living a sad existence full of pain, heartache, and literally self-torture. No one knew. Not even my family whom I was and am very close with. I kept it all inside. It was killing me. THAT WAS AND IS MY SHAME.
I do my work as far as following my doctors plan, take my vitamins, take my protein supplements, drink my water, and working out 6 days a week for two hours and am achieving all my goals I set for myself. I STILL FEEL FAT.
It is a very bad feeling when you are constantly getting compliments and asked out and you doubt yourself all the time. I have a very healthy self-esteem now and I do value my self and know that I am not a bad person and am not ugly or unattractive or as big as I was, but when I look in the mirror I do not see what others see.
I STILL FEEL fat, ugly, and unattractive. No amount of makeup, new clothes or new shoes can take that feeling away. Believe me, I have tried. The department stores are loving my credit card now a days. What you all see in my pictures is an attempt by my therapist to get me to see myself the way you all see me. I take pictures of myself all the time and compare to before pictures. I carry before and after pics around with me to make my mind catch up with my body. It is not working yet.
Guys ask me out and I back out and panic because I am afraid that they will see what I see about myself. I doubt myself all the time. It is not a great feeling at all. It is really a debilitating feeling. I am in therapy and she is helping me work through these issues, but I just wanted to let everyone know that sees me and thinks I am doing so good know that I too still have issues with my body still after losing 111 pounds. Surgery did not take that away from me.
This surgery is not a quick fix. While I am healthier, happier, and have my life back I am still suffering in a different way. I have Body Dysmorphic Syndrome. If it is not treated it can make a person really feel hopeless and helpless. I would rather have this problem than being as big as I was any day. I just wanted to let you all know what I was going through. I do not ever want to be fake with you all. I am a real person with real feelings that want to help others. That is my nature, if you have not figured that out by now. This process of sharing with you all is also like therapy for me.
I am doing things I have never ever been able to do. I am very thankful everyday that I have my life back and that this surgery has made that possible. I just wanted to make everyone aware that these feelings may happen to you as well and if they do you should get counseling. No one should ever have to go through this and suffer without getting help.
I am not sick in the head or anything like that. I guess it just takes time for the mind to catch up with the body. Thank you for listening. I wish you all well with surgery approvals and consults. Wish me well with my reconstructive surgery consult 01-30-03 for stomach and arms. Have a great week. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I am the type of person that when I have emotions, I feel relieved when my emotions are expressed to others. I express myself publicly on AMOS so that I can get feedback from people who understand, to share with others what I am going through, and also to get rid of the negative thinking. It is like when I come here and I write about it, what I was feeling in the beginning is not as bad as I thought it was (even though the situation never really changed). I just feel less stressed because now others know about it. It is no longer a secret. The cat is out of the bag so to speak.
To some it may seem as if my world is falling down when I describe things the way I do, but it is merely my way of making my emotions and feelings known so I can give them away and not own them anymore. Does that make sense to you?
My life is really great you all. I do not hate men. I do not hate myself. I love myself. I love life. I am not suicidal. I am not delusional either. I am doing everything I have ever wanted to do in life now. I just have to overcome this Body Dysmorphic Syndrome. I will not let it control my life or my dreams. Have no fear though because I will attack this issue just like I have my WLS journey. I am a strong woman and I will not be defeated.
I just wanted to thank you all for sharing all of your positive thoughts and suggestions with me. I really truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. I will try all that was suggested, but as you all know NEGATIVE BODY IMAGE DOES NOT GO AWAY OVER NIGHT! It is a work in progress. Have a great week everyone and I wish you well with insurance approvals and surgeries. I LOVE YOU ALL
I am so excited as I got up this morning and got on the scale (daily ritual for me). I was overyjoyed and shocked as I have lost another pound. Freaked about it, but ohh so happy. I now weigh 191 -114 pound loss since Lap RNY 6-6-02 BMI is now 29.9 which means I am no longer obese. I AM JUST OVERWEIGHT!!! That is the wildest thing for me.
I am so happy. I am emotional again this morning. You all do not know what WLS has done for me. Well maybe some of you do. I have my life back. I am able to live the kind of life I have always wanted. I am able to move now. I have energy. I am going to school to fulfil my dream of being a nurse.I am trying to get my all of self-esteem back (I have a little now) not as much as I should. I am a whole person again. I like to help others achieve their goals. I am a people person again. I longer live my life hidden in the shadows. I am me again.
All of you and you have been a great asset in my WLS journey. Rookies as myself have kept me motivated and on my toes and have been very supportive and you veterans have paved the way for me. I would be lost if you had not been open and honest with your stories. I hope that no matter where your life takes you, that you continue to keep us updated because through your stories we all grow. I will always be here to lend a helping hand to anyone who needs it. I may not have much, but I am always willing to share with others. Have a great day and an even better week. I LOVE YOU ALL.
Dr. Morales walked in the door with his assistant Gracie and we began to talk and I asked all of my questions and he answered them very thoroughly and even added extra stuff I did not ask about. I then had to disrobe. I was so scared, but calmed down after 5 minutes. He was touching, pinching, pulling up, pulling down, and stretching all areas of my body. He also took out a tape measure. I felt like a McCall's Pattern. I thought he had plans to make a nice dress from the left over skin. Silence of the lamb's here I come.
He told me that I have done great with my workouts and all that I have now is skin. He told me that the circumfrential abdominoplasty would be best for me as I have skin on my lower abs as well as gluteus maximus, and hips. This means my scar will be all the way around. I am cool with that. I just want the skin gone. I then was escorted across the hall for my Nude debut. I was asked to get naked. Then the sweat began. I was so afraid for no reason. It was nothing. I was asked to turn various positions and flex this arm and that arm. I leaned over so that could see that my pannus was below my private area. Lovely thought, Me on the cover of Playboy..lol.
After the pictures were done I went and looked at before and after photos. After the photos I went to talk to Carol about money. Luckily, when I got laid off I got a nice little severance and pension packet and I now have 10,000. If insurance does not pay for extra stuff. I have the cash. I am so happy it is all over with. Now comes the waiting. Just like with WLS I will have to find something to keep myself preoccupied. Oh, yeah, School..lol. I LOVE YOU ALL HAVE A GREAT DAY.
I also wanted to let all of you know that you are doing great as far as losing the weight. Any amount of weight loss to me is a reason to celebrate. Don’t beat yourself up about plateaus and slow losses. It happens. If you know you are truly doing everything you need to do according to your doctor’s plans and you are not eating bad foods and you are working out and drinking your water and doing your protein.
DON"T WORRY. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS. EVERYONE’S BODY CHEMISTRY IS DIFFERENT.
If you know you are not doing the right things as far as following the program then take a personal inventory of the things you are eating and how much you are exercising and bump it up. Get off the couch and move those buns honey. When you want to eat fattening foods go for a walk or a swim.
This is your life your body and you are in control of it. We did not have this surgery to go only half way. Put your heart and soul into your WLS journey and work it. Work it like you have never worked anything before. Make it your number one priority.
Some people may think that is being selfish, but you have to focus on yourself and your goals if you want to lose the weight. I know for those of you who have kids or hard careers it is difficult, but if you want to succeed and meet your goals you are going to have to work it.
Be proud of every single accomplishment that is made. Every pound is a milestone in my eyes. We are people who want what we want when we want it. The weight will come off, maybe not as fast as we want it to, but it will come off.
Have a great weekend and even better week. I LOVE YOU ALL.
School is going well. It is so hard getting back into the swing of things, but I am making it. I have test in the next few weeks, so I have been hitting the books everyday.
Weight loss is coming along fine. Grand total is -116 pounds. Starting weight is 305. Current weight is 189. To be honest with you all, if I never lost another pound I would be happy with where I am. I am not happy with the skin, but I am beginning to learn to live with it (FOR NOW).
I am patiently waiting for plastic surgery approval. I have some very good letters from my chiropractor, WLS surgeon, dermatologist, and a sorry one from my PCP. I had to write him and guilt trip him into writing a better one. The letter he wrote me was very short and not detailed. When I rewrote a letter for him to sign, he had his nurse call me and say I could get a detailed letter from my other doctors.
Here is the letter I wrote him:
I received the phone call from Christine today saying that you would not rewrite the letter that I wrote because you felt that it was to detailed and that I could get the information from my dermatologist or my plastic surgeon. I was very hurt and confused about the statement, as I thought you were supportive of my weight loss and my quest for a better life. I had the surgery and worked so hard at losing 116 pounds and while the surgery was a tool I did all the hard work. I can not understand why writing the letter is a problem for you. I could email you a copy if the actual typing is an issue for you and your staff.
The reconstructive surgery is the next phase of healthcare for me and all my skin issues. I have to have a detailed letter from my PCP, as you are my primary doctor. I have detailed letters from my WLS surgeon, my plastic surgeon, my chiropractor, and my dermatologist all ready, but I need one from you as well. The letter you wrote me only focuses on my breast. While I appreciate your letter that is only a minor problem.
My thighs, abdomen, and arms have pounds of hanging flesh on them as well. My plastic surgeon told me yesterday that I have 25 pounds of skin on my abdomen, thighs, and arms, and breast all together. I am not trying to use you to get these things approved by insurance out of vanity reasons. I have real painful health problems because of all the skin. I really wish you would reconsider rewriting the letter for me because I need all the assistance I can get to get insurance to see that I am truly having issues with the skin. I have come to far to not be able to live a normal healthy life free from redundant skin. It is my only request from you. I do not feel that I am asking too much. Thank you for your time.
I guess my letter worked because she called me back and said I can come and pick up the new letter on Monday. Damn... I am good..lol. This just goes to show you that you can never accept no for an answer. I was prepared to accept his answer and just move on with his crappy letter. Then I thought. Wait a minute!!!! I pay him for his services. This is my life, my body, my right, and his job. I was not just going to roll over and play dead and accept whatever he was going to give me, like a dog waiting for scraps by the back door. I required more than what he was willing to give and I asked for it and I got it. NEVER be afraid to question your doctors people. They mean well, but something’s are not as important to them as they are to you.
I am praying for everyone waiting for insurance approvals, consults, and surgeries. I know how you feel. I hate waiting too. I had to wait during the whole WLS process and now I am waiting again with the Reconstructive Surgery process. Why can't we just get what we want when we want it? I hope you all have a great day and an even better week.
I guess I had more to say than I thought. lol.
I then asked the lady what the smallest size there was and she said
14. I was hoping they had smaller. I realized today that it is time
to move on.I was a little bit sad as I have grown accustomed to Lane
Bryant and their nice clothes. Now I have to move on. She told me to
try Express or The Limited. I told her I can't move on. I LOVE IT
HERE.
She started laughing and saying it is time to move on. I have lost
the weight and can no longer wear thier clothes. She was laughing,
but I was a little sad....lol.
I went to Ross next door and tried on some 12's and guess what
people.. THEY FIT.I am so happy right now.
Some things I have to get 14 depending on how they are cut, but for
the most part I am in a 12 in shirts, skirts, and loose fitting
pants, jeans I am in a 12/14. Today is a great day..WLS rocks.
Losing 116 pounds feels great and is less filling..lol. I got 24 more
pounds to go. Anyone care to take them from me? lol.. Have a great day
everyone.
8 months out from LAP RNY 6-6-02
Pre Op Weight:305
Current Weight:189 -116 lbs.
Goal Weight:165 24 more lbs. to go
PendingInsurance Approval: Circumfrential Abdominoplasty and Arm Lift
I went and paid for my Personal Trainer Certification yesterday for May 12-16, 2003 so that is out of the way. I also went to pick up my book for the class so that I could be studying now.
I also went and paid for my trip to Cancun, Mexico May 22-29, 2003. Now I have no worries. If I do not know anything else about my life now, I know the following for sure. I will be Certified to be a personal trainer and I will be having my first vacation smaller before my 28th B'DAY (JUNE 2nd) and four days from that June 6, 2003,will be my 1 year Anniversay since WLS. So you see I have no worries. Everything is great.
02-09-03 – 8:49 am - I have not been posting much this week as I have been disgusted with all the bickering and arguing that has been going on here and in the chat room. Who cares if you are a little overweight or a lot overweight? The whole lightweight and heavyweight debate is irrelevant. NO ONE CARES.
We are all here for the same reasons. We all have come to the same conclusion that we no longer wanted to be overweight and unhealthy. We all have decided we wanted to start a new life ,where we are no longer morbidly obese, made fun off, judged, or mistreated by society. We all want to be able to go outside with our kids and play without being out of breath, we all want to be able to fit in booths in restaurants, fit on amusement park rides, and airplanes seats. We all want our lives back.
It is so funny and sad at the same time that some people categorize themselves in the lightweight or heavy weight category. TO THE REST OF THE WORLD WE ARE JUST FAT!!! Accept it and move on. No need to make a big deal out of it.
We have to accept what we are and do something about it. We have to own up to what we have done to our bodies and do something to change it. Whether you are a lightweight or heavyweight, you are no better or worse than anyone else. We all have suffered. I am not agreeing that what the world thinks or feels about us is right, but I do agree that we and only we have the power to change it.
This board was created to allow us to have a way to get information and share our stories and struggles with one another. If we come here and cause chaos or indifference between each other, we are no different than the rest of the world who makes us feel bad about who and what we are because of our size. Where are we supposed to go for love and support?
Everyone has different opinions and different reactions to everything that someone says. Please make sure that you think about the words that you type back to someone. Sometimes we do not think before we type and feelings get hurt. Sometimes it is unintentional and sometimes it is on purpose.
Haven't we all been hurt enough in this world? Is it necessary to come here and hurt others. If you do not agree with what someone has said or you do not have anything nice to say at all please do not respond.
I always see people stating what their doctors have told them and then they bash someone else for what they are doing in the program that is different than what they are doing. Every program is different and every WLS doctor has their patients on different programs. You should do what your doctor tells you to do. No one’s program is better or worse than anyone else’s. JUST DIFFERENT.
I do agree that there are some doctors who are doing WLS who have no clue about what we need post op, but that is different. When someone is asking you for help with their program that is different, but when you are giving unwarranted advice and then putting down someone for not knowing the information that is uncalled for.
We all are learning everyday. WLS is a learning experience. Everyone does things differently. We all get information from each other. Some information is good and some information is bad. Just because something works for you it does not mean that it will work for someone else and that they have to do what you do. We all are on this journey and learning by trial and error.
We all lose weight at different paces. It does not make you any better than or worse than anyone if your are losing at a slow or fast pace. At least you are losing. Be proud of your accomplishments. Every little pound or inch that is lost is a reason to celebrate. Plateaus do happen to everyone. Accept it and move on. Come up with strategies to overcome them. Increase your protein, water, and exercise. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. Accept it and do something about it. You are changing your life. You are doing something about your weight. We should never compare our programs or ourselves. NEVER. It is a very destructive habit to get into.
No one here is perfect. We all are going to make mistakes. We are only human. I just wish everyone would think hard and long before they respond to people’s post. Whether you know it or not there are people that read our post and never post online and we are affecting their lives. Words are a powerful thing. They can hurt ,help, as well as change someone’s life. Be sure of what your words are doing.
I wish you all a great journey. No matter where you are on this journey we are all in this together.
NEVER FORGET WHERE YOU CAME FROM. I LOVE YOU ALL .
Thank you for letting me preach. I just had to get this off my saggy, deflated chest. Now I can go on with my day. lol.
02/11/03 -10:30 am - 02/11 11:13 AM
I saw nothing wrong with the show Oprah did on weight loss with Big Pete. I thought it was the best show she has done on the subject. No one was bashed.In the first show she never bashed anyone she just stated her beliefs that losing wihout WLS was the hard way. She is entitled to her opinion as we all are.
This last show showed various people who lost the weight as well as one person who had phenomenal success with WLS. I envy the people who were able to lose huge amounts of weight without WLS. Whatever they tried worked for them, just as WLS has worked for me. I have no hard feelings toward them. Why do we always feel the need to put others down for doing something differently? We all know where they have come from. We have just chosen different routes to accomplish the same goals.
We all must remember that the struggle with weight is a continuous struggle. We will have to watch our weight and be health conscious for the rest of our lives. That is also the case with people who lose weight the standard way. I believe there is no right or wrong way to lose weight. The fact that people are taking steps in their lives to make a change that is all that matters.
A lot of people who have had or are about to have WLS are under the impression that when we have this surgery our weight is gone forever and will never return.HAHAHAHAHAHA. I hate to burst your bubbles, but it is possible to gain all of the weight back. I have seen numerous people do it. We all have seen many people even on here who are having their second or third revisions for whatever reasons they gained the weight back.
My point is to never think that because we have been given this beautiful tool to lose weight that you are bullet proof and never capable of gaining the weight. While our pouches are smaller and weight gain is unlikely if you eat right and exercise, it does happen. We are not perfect. NEVER THINK THAT WEIGHT GAIN WILL NOT HAPPEN TO YOU, BECAUSE IT CAN. I LOVE YOU ALL.
Weight Lost since WLS: -118
Pounds left to lose B4@goal:-22
02/12/03 - 8:30 am - Since you all are posting about food cravings and such I will post about my current problems. I always am online talking about protein, water, exercise, and sticking to your program. That is a must for me in order to meet my goals.
I do believe it is easier for me to follow these rules since I still do not have my appetite still. I am never hungry. Some people look at it as a gift, but I do not reason being is I have retrained my mind that if I am not hungry I do not eat. That means that sometimes I eat once or only twice a day.
I am now trying to make myself eat three times a day even if I am not hungry, but it is very hard when you have trained your mind to not eat when not hungry which for me is all the time. I eat now because I know if I do not I will get sick.
While a lot of you are saying it is not an issue, it really is since I work out as hard and as much as I do and I need proper nutrition to be able to be as physical as I am. I am also very anemic and have been even before surgery and therefore am always tired. I am very active and my active life leaves no room to be tired.
I asked my PCP what could be done about my chronic anemia and he said that is not much that can be done since they have ran so many test and can find nothing wrong with me as far as internal bleeding that would cause the anemia. I have to take PROCRIT injections to increase red blood cells anytime I have a surgery because of anemia.
I know a lot of you are struggling right now with cravings and making wrong food choices and even though I am not, I am thinking of you and I am praying for you. No one here is perfect and we all are going to have days when we eat things we know we should not be eating. That does not mean that your whole day is ruined. Start over again.
Never give up just because of a few bad food choices. Sometimes you just gotta eat what you want to eat. Don't beat yourself up over it. You are only human. Just look in the mirror and see how far you have come during your journey and pick yourself up and start over.
I strongly recommend people keep a food journal and a personal journal. It helps to keep track of the foods you are eating. The personal journal keeps track of your emotions. By keeping both journals and writing in them everyday you may see a pattern in your eating and emotions. Some people are emotional eaters and when things are not going good they eat.
That is not a bad thing, it just means you need to find other ways to deal with your emotions. When I am upset or sad I work out. I get a lot of my aggressions out that way.
I also wanted to let you all know that I in no way know all the answers and am only offering my advice as it helps me. If you get something out of my words I am quite pleased. Remember the following:
1. We are all human.
2. We are not perfect.
3. We do not have all the answers.
4. Everyone's body is different.
5. If at first you fail try again.
6. No one can change you, but you.
7. You are deserving of a good life.
8. Life is what you make it.
9. You have to focus on yourself to make your goals a reality.
10. God loves you no matter where you are in life.
God Bless you. I LOVE YOU ALL.
Have a great day and an even better week
02/14/03 - 12:41 pm - Hello everyone. I just wanted to write to let you people know that are pursuing reconstructive surgery that it is a good idea to obtain your information (letter requesting reconstructive surgery and documentation of redundant skin issues) from your doctors (dermatologist, chiropractors, WLS surgeon, Plastic Surgeon). I have been plagued with rashes, infections and back problems since the weight starting coming off.
I learned very early in my WLS journey that all of this needed to be documented during the course of your treatment. I have asked all of my doctors to write me letters stating my problems and have actually obtained a copy of the letters.
While the letters will be submitted by your plastic surgeon when it is time to request insurance approval, as we all know insurance companies have a habit of purposely losing our documents.
I have been very fortunate to find a great person at my insurance company who is a manager for the Medical review Department and has given me a local fax number for her. Since I have my documents I faxed them to her this morning. She stated that a decision would be made next week regarding my reconstructive surgery approvals.
I am not naive enough to believe that they will approve on the first request, but I am confident that my file is very thick and detailed as I have been keeping receipts and records. I just wanted to let you all know that the more records you keep and the more involved you are in your approval process the better things will go. It also helps that I do not have to bother my doctors because I have my own records. Have a great day. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!
02/17/03 - 10:07 am - Hello everyone. I just wanted to write to let all of you know that I have had you all on my mind. I have been busy with studying and working out and trying to take care of myself.
I need to talk about something that has been really ruining my program. I do not eat much. I was eating up to two times a day, but now it is only one time a day. I have been trying really really hard to get in three meals, but I can not do it. I just dread seeing food. I hate the thought of eating. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?
I am getting in all of my vitamins, water, and exercise, but the food is just not appealing to me. I am not hungry. When I look at food I get sick to my stomach. When I smell food I get sick to my stomach. This is not an intentional response. I am not trying to go on a major diet or anything. I just do not want to eat.
I feel like such a fool because I know I need proper nutrition to be healthy. The thing that worries me the most is I work out so much and I know I am not eating enough to burn the amount of calories I burn on a daily basis. I am up to 2 hours of exercise six days a week and on average day I burn 600 calories. I know I am not eating that much in a day. I think right now, I am eating 350 calories a day. I cannot cut my exercise routine down either because every since surgey it has been the thing that I do to keep on track and stay sane.
I am going to talk to my therapist as I think subconsciouously I am resorting back to anorexic ways of thinking. I do not want to be this way, but I am not perfect. Like those of you who are having problems eating and snacking I am having problems not wanting to eat. Anorexia and Bulimia is something that I suffered from for years and was treated for. It nearly ruined my life. I thought those thoughts were gone. I do not know why they are coming back to haunt me now.
I ask that you not criticize or talk down to me, but your prayers and support would be greatly appreciated. I did not get this far in my weight loss journey to start destructive habits or thinking. I will not let this get me down. Thank you. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I have been battling it out with the insurance company regarding insurance approval for my reconstructive surgery procedures Abdominoplasty (15831)and Brachioplasty (15836). They have been lying like all insurance companies do regarding receiving information. They are the "ANTICHRIST".
Like I honestly believe my information is not in their hands and they are not receiving joy from terrorizing me with anticipation. It is almost as if they know I have to have surgery during my college spring break and they are trying to make me miss this on purpose.
As I was typing this message I called the insurance company and the office manager from my doctors office has called them this morning and now I have a case open. The waiting period for a decision to be made is 7-14 business days. EVERYONE PLEASE SEND ME MORE PRAYERS AND GOOD THOUGHTS. I may just meet my spring break deadline after all. I LOVE YOU ALL.
Then I called my therapist and we talked about me not wanting to eat. We also discussed the possibilities of my old anorexic /bulimia thoughts coming back. She seems to think that I am so afraid of gaining back all of the weight that I am doing what ever it takes not to gain. She does not believe that I am slipping back into bad habits. She said if I were relapsing I would not be eating at all and I would be using Ipecac or laxatives to get rid of the food. She said that the thoughts that I am having about not wanting to eat, not liking food or the smell of food will not hurt me, but my actions will. It is a choice that I have to make on a daily basis not to do things that are harmful to my body.
I have to try to make myself eat even if I am not hungry. Even if the thought of eating makes me sick I have to do it. When I can not eat I drink my protein shakes or eat a protein bar so at least I am smart enough to get my protein in. I am constantly drinking water or decaf tea. I take my vitamins daily and exercise daily.
Even though this is a minor set back for me, I will not let this take me down. I have come to far in my journey to stop now. I have lost 119 pounds since June 6, 2002. I started out at 305 and now weigh 186. I use to wear a size 28 and now I am in 12 jeans and pants and size large shirts. THAT IS AMAZING TO ME. I can not believe it. Every time I get dressed I am amazed they actually fit. I thank God everyday for a chance to live another day. I take nothing and no one for granted because it all can be taken away in a flash.
When I first started out on this site I use to feel so blessed to know that people out there like you all were sharing your stories so that I could have someone to look up to. I was so happy to know that there were people out there like me going through the same things. Now I am one of those people who get lots of emails of admiration.
While I truly appreciate the email, I do not feel like I am doing anything out of the ordinary other than being real to myself and the rest of the world. I love to help others and share my experience, knowledge, and strength. If what I write or say helps someone else then it is even better. No one should ever have to feel like they are alone. We are all one as far as I see it.
We all come from different backgrounds, cultures, and all have different beliefs, but we are all one. I never forget where I have come from. I will never forget where I want to go. I have goals and dreams that I will accomplish. There is nothing and I mean nothing or no one that will get in my way. Setbacks happen to everyone. The way you handle them will determine your fate.
When I wanted to have this surgery my family was so adamant about me waiting one more year and trying to lose it on my own. For a few weeks every time I brought it up to my mom an argument would start. When they all finally realized how serious an educated I was on the subject they started listening to me and taping shows on WLS and pointing out articles in papers and telling me people at work have had it. They came around. Now that I have had surgery and am 22 pounds away from goal weight my family calls me skinny minny (yeah right!) and is so happy that I am healthy and have my health and my life back. I am in smaller clothes than my 18-yr. old sister is and now I have to help her with exercise and lifestyle changes to lose 30 pounds. My whole world has changed.
I never thought this would work for me. I never thought I would be a success. The only thing I knew I was a success at was eating and being out of control. I changed all of that when I became more comfortable going after what I wanted. I changed all of that when I said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I put my foot down and stopped being a doormat. I stopped letting people and situations affect the way I was going to feel about myself. I learned what it was like to want something so bad that it hurt. I wanted my life back and in order for me to get it back I had to get mad and say why am I doing this to myself? Why am I killing myself? I HAD TO GET REAL WITH MYSELF. I have to do that everyday in order to stay focused.
I could have easily had this surgery and continued to eat cakes, chips, candy, burgers, and fatty foods when ever I felt like eating them, but to me I have come to far in this program to mess it up. I have gone through so much in my life to mess up a second chance that I have graciously been given by GOD. There are a lot of people who say, "I did not have this surgery to go on a diet for the rest of my life". I agree with that to some extent. Where did all of the junk food get you? Do you need it so bad to sacrifice all that you have worked so hard to get? If you look around you in the real world skinny women have issues with food as well. The watch what they eat and they count calories and they hit the gym. Yes, they eat junk on occasion, but if you really watch them day in and day out they are eating healthy. If they are not eating healthy they have good metabolisms and should be selling them to others on EBAY.
We are not like everyone else. There are millions of people in the world who will never have issues with their weight and that is just life. Call it unfair or whatever you like, it is just the way it is.
We on the other hand are different. We will have to watch what we do forever. We do not have to be militant or go over board with it, but we will have to be conscious of what we eat, drink, and how much exercise we take in for life. SURGERY IS JUST A TOOL. If you do not believe me look up stories on line from people who have had revisions or people in NAAFA who have had WLS and now blame the surgery because it failed them. The surgery did not fail them; they failed themselves. I am not making light of people who have had to have revisions because I feel for them I pray that I do not have to go through this process again. THIS IS JUST A TOOL. It is only as effective as you make it. Pounds being gone forever is a great self- affirmation, but it is so NOT TRUE. DON”T BELIEVE THE HYPE PEOPLE!!!
If you choose to ignore your doctor’s program/advice, eat tons of sugary and fatty foods, and not exercise you choose to not see the results you were hoping for. YOU DECIDE. What is more important to you?
I share this with you all because I truly believe that habits are hard to break. If you are not in touch with your body or your mind things can go wrong. I am not perfect. I am not a professional at anything. I am just speaking to you as if I would speak to anyone else, from my heart. Some of you love me on here and some of you hate me. You know what? I am not on here to win most popular or to win anyone’s approval. I LOVE YOU ALL NO MATTER HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME. All I can do is speak my mind and that is what I just did. Have a great night and an even better week.
I too struggle with food in a different way than others and I in no way feel that I am working a perfect program. I have faults just like everyone else the only difference is I do not eat regularly like I am suppose to, but I am working through that in therapy. Call me crazy or whatever, but I am working through my issues and not denying myself treatment.
It is very sad that things I say are always construed as being judgmental when I am merely stating my opinions. I never came online to hurt people or make them feel bad about themselves. I do not think I am better than anyone else is.
I can sympathize with the problems of every person on here even though I may not perfectly understand them. I am just merely voicing how I work my program and the things that have helped me. I never direct my messages to people and I am not malicious and hurtful to others.
I feel that when people do not have anything nice to say about people that they should not say anything at all. I never slam people on here. It just sucks that I get lots of email thanking me for my post and for giving people motivation to succeed in WLS. Then I will get a mean and nasty post telling me how self-righteous I am and it just ruins my day. It makes me wonder why should I even post if there is always going to be negative people out there, waiting to slam my every thought or feeling.
I wish everyone success in their journey's no matter where they are. I am taking a break from the board and will only post to update stuff about my angelette Hallie Miles. You all take care and have a great month.
I will not reveal names as I believe in anonymity, but I received an email and it cleared everything up for me. You all love me for the most part and I love you all too.
I wrote my goodbye message earlier today and then went to the gym to work off some aggressions and get off this plateau. When I got home I had 70 emails from all my AMOS Brothers and Sisters in my INBOX. I cried like a big baby.
I had no idea how many of you are following my trials and tribulations. It was very inspiring and touching. I have never felt so much love from a message board full of strangers. The funny thing is I get more love from you all than I do from my own support group here in town. I know I will get in trouble for that remark because a lot of them read this board, but that is how I feel. We get support and give support in my group, but it is rather clique influenced. Such is life.
While none of us on here are perfect we all have learned a very important lesson the last two days. No matter how far out you are we all are vulnerable to set backs. Whether it be overeating, undereating, not exercising, or just not being compliant to our WLS program.
We all come here for support, love, and understanding. Who better to understand what we are going through than people ho have had our surgery? We all do not need to bashed or put down for things that we do that others feel are wrong. No one here was appointed judge, juror, or executor. There is a way to give friendly advice and then there is a way to give advice in a way that hurt others and put them down.
People please please please reread what you write before you send it to someone. Think about how you would feel if you were to get this email. We all are trying to work through our issues and live our "Normal" lives the best way we know how.
Some of us feel we know all the answers in this WLS game, but the truth is. We do not. Each day is a new and exciting chapter to read and explore. Sometimes you have to reread it to remember the good parts or to learn from previous experiences. All there is to do is sit back and enjoy the story or rewrite it.
The beauty of this site is our diversity and the support we all give and receive. People let’s not take away or destroy the very thing that brings us all together. So on this note I leave you with what helps me. I hope you can benefit from it. If you can not please take what you like and leave what you don't. Have a great night and an even better weekend. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I feel (notice my words)the important things to do are:
1.Acknowledge your set backs.
2.Assess the situation.
3.Reach out for help (Amos, friends, family, and doctors.)
4.Make a conscious effort to work through the issues.
5.Keep track of your feelings during the situation with journals.
6.Do not beat yourself up.
7.Start over fresh the next day.
8.Make a list of the things you wish to conquer.
9.Choose to be around people who are supportive.
10. Cut ties with all people who are not emotionally healthy and who are not willing to get help.
I know you are thinking those things can not be done. You are probably saying that this is easy for me to say. Well, you are right, it is easy for me to say because I have been there and done that ( except the kid thing). I am single, have no kids, no baggage going on right now. WHY??? I did all of the things I mentioned to you above.
My life is not perfect by any means, but I do have a clear-cut path in front of me and I know where I am headed. I struggle daily with my eating disorder just as others struggle with their addictions to sugar. Yes, stuff happens and my course may change on this road I call life, but for right now I see things so clearly and I am working through them. I hope you all will be able to as well. Take care.
02/21/03 - 7:48 pm - As a lot of you know I found out today that my insurance requests for abdominoplasty and brachioplasty was denied and deemed cosmetic surgery.
I know now that no one bothered to read all of my letters from my PCP, Chiropractor, Dermatologist, WLS surgeon, and plastic surgeon stating that it is reconstructive and medically necessary.
After I cried and cried, I screamed and cursed. I got dressed went to the gym walked/ran for 5 miles at 4.0. Lifted weights for an hour. Sat in the sauna for 15 minutes. Almost passed out. I WAS VERY VERY ANGRY. I got a good workout out of this anyway.
After I got home I got busy with making copies of my 42 pages of documentation from all of my doctors. I had already had my appeal letter ready to go thanks to Sue Barr's website appeal letter. I made four sets of copies of all documents. I sent a copy to all of the address my insurance company has listed for claims and appeals. I sent the last one to the Texas Insurance Commissioner: Jose Montemayor. He is my ace in the hole. Most insurance companies do not want other people poking around in their dirty records and policies.
I included a copy of the position paper on Treatment of Redundant Skin after massive weight loss from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. It is very specific it what needs to e done to correct redundant skin.
I mailed those out today, but I know they will not physically receive them until next week sometime. I also faxed over all 42 documents to the medical claims review board and care coordination.
I am praying and wishing upon a star that someone read my documentation this time. I have also requested an expedited appeal as they have wasted enough of my time. I also requested that an American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) surgeon review my case and make a decision. I told them that a general surgeon is not experienced or qualified to make a determination in such a complex case.
I also pointed out that they approved my weight loss surgery and they are morally and ethically responsible for treatment of redundant skin and the medical conditions associated with it following the surgery that they paid for.
Please pray for me as I am praying for all of you. I ate two real meals today and a protein shake people. I am getting better every day. Eating disorders bite, but I am getting a handle on it. Have a great weekend. Thanks for all the support everyone. I am praying for each and every one of you. I LOVE YOU ALL.
02/22/03 - 11:33 am - The scale reads 185 today. -120 lost since 6-6-02. Yeah..
I have continued to work out 6 days a week for two hours. I have also continued to go to counseling for my anorexia/bulimia thoughts (NOT ACTIONS). I have also increased my food intake to two meals a day and one protein shake. I am very very proud of myself for that, as it is very hard for me to eat. The scene is totally hilarious. My eating reminds me of a mother trying to feed her two-year-old child and the child spits out the food and just really does not want it. lol. That is me. I play with my food and often make ugly faces to get it down. Reason being the thought of eating disgust me right now, but I know I have to eat to stay healthy and live. I a overcoming it day by day.
After hearing on the phone 02/21/03 that I was denied by United Healthcare-Select EPO for reconstructive surgery I was so shocked and off guard that I physically fainted right here in my apartment next to my computer desk. Got a nice little bump on my left cheek as proof of my madness.
After I literally picked myself up off of the floor I called them back madder than hell and asked why I was told 30 min earlier I was approved and the denied. I had called them back 30 min later to verify the approval, hence the shock and disappointment. No one knew anything as usual. IDIOT'S!! Why was I laid off and they have jobs??? hmmmmmmm.
I immediately hung up on her after getting no where and got all 11 pages of my appeal letter printed and 42 pages of my documentation together. I had medical records and letters from my WLS surgeon, reconstructive surgeon, PCP, Dermatologist, and Chiropractor stating every rash, infection, back, neck, and shoulder pain that I have had since WLS. I had receipts of every rash or infection medication I bought over the counter and through the pharmacy. How dare they tell me it was cosmetic in nature? I HAVE A REAL MEDICAL PROBLEM.
I was angry and went to Kinko's to make 4 sets of copies to start my appeal process. I know the people at Kinko's thought I was on crack because I was crying and flinging paper and making copies and just looking real mental.
I then went to the post office and mailed off all four packages. Three went to United Health Care Select - EPO (office in UT, CA, and TX) and the last to the Texas Insurance Commissioners office. I also faxed my pages to UHC offices in UT, CA, and TX) to try to speed things up.
I am not happy as my surgeries were scheduled for March 14, 2003, but I will be damned if I let them do this to me. They will pay. I never expected them to pay for my arms, but why not try. The worse they could say is no. They said no to both and that has led me to believe that they never read anything I sent them.
I know will have to wait 20-30 days before a decision can be made on my appeal. The funny thing is I sent the appeal before I even got the letter because of my inside connection (she is a supervisor for member services) she told me why I was denied and how they came to their conclusion. She also told me where to send the appeals package. She did not have to do that. She could have been a witch like everyone else at UHC and told me to wait for the letter.
I wanted to let you all know that I have not given up and you should not either. EVER.
If they come back with another denial I will fight and fight ‘til I am a bloody mess, but they will pay. I have the cash from my severance package and savings, but why should I pay when it is my right to be treated for my medical conditions. Plus, I was going to pay off my car this year with the cash.
I wish everyone well on your insurance approvals, surgeries, and dealing with your cravings. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I am sick as a dog with some flu bug. School has been closed for two days now and needless to say studying is the last thing on my mind now. lol. I have managed to ski down to the apartment gym for my workouts.
I just wanted to let you all know how important it is to be involved with your insurance company when it comes to WLS and reconstructive surgery approvals.
As most of you know I was told 2-21-03 that I was approved and then 30 min later I called back to verify I was approved and was told I was denied. I filed for an appeal the same day.
Called today to see if the appeal info I had faxed and mailed had been received and was told today that my medical information just went into medical claims review yesterday.
I called back to verify 30 min later and was told the same thing that it is still in review and now it is specifically assigned to a nurse. She would not give me her name. DARN!! She also said the reason it has been assigned and is going back through the whole process is because of all of the misinformation I have been given, the fact that I have been given the run around, and a supervisor got involved and stepped in because of all the troubles.
Oh yeah I forgot to tell you of the two phone call messages I have gotten on my answering machine that say please call member services to give more info about your case. They leave no name or reference numbers and left only a phone number.
I did not know it was possible for a denial to be overturned without an appeal. I do not think it is. What they did was take back the denial and start over from scratch. So now it is as if my file just now came to their attention for the first time.
You all know I will call at 4:00 p.m. today because I do not believe anyone at the insurance company. THEY ARE ALL LIARS. lol. I have to verify what they say because I have caught them in a lie to many times already. Gotta stay proactive. lol
I am praying for insurance approvals, uneventful surgeries, and speedy recoveries for all. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I went to my therapist yesterday and was talking to her about my eating issues or lack of eating. I had explained to her the feelings I was feeling about food. She has me calling her at the end of the day reporting what I am eating. Pretty funny to me as someone could easily lie about this, but I am being honest as always. My eating has been normal and stables this last week. I have been eating two meals and a protein shake a day. Still not three meals a day, but close enough. I am getting in enough nutrients, water, vitamins, and exercise.
I also shared with her how depressed I have been since being denied by insurance for reconstructive surgery. I told her that I am not crazy, but I feel so bad because I just knew that insurance would come through for me. Anyone would get depressed under these circumstances.
She wants me to be screened for possible depression meds. She said I will take a test and if the test deems me meds worthy I will get on meds. If I pass the test then we will just continue with therapy.
I am just now getting depressed. It is not my everyday way of life, believe me. I know it has to do with being denied and fighting with insurance for reconstructive surgery, but I will be compliant as she is on my side. She is not trying to hurt me or set me up for a fall. I am determined to overcome my fear of food and get this stinkin thinkin out of my head. It is an everyday battle, but I will overcome it.
I am so ready for this nightmare with insurance to be over with. I worked my butt off to lose all of this weight and the insurance company just does not understand that this skin is affecting my life in the nastiest way.
Sorry to gross you all out. To top matters off, I have a rash from hell right now that hurts me when I walk as it is between my thighs and also between my pannus and pubis so when I walk it just rubs and rubs. The best part is that the skin falls off after rubbing so much. MAYBE I SHOULD START SAVING THE SKIN AND MAILING IT TO THE APPEALS DEPARTMENT?? I would label it See Teena's Skin currently on Medical Claims Review/Appeals. lol.
I called insurance today and the nurse on my file has noted that I am requesting an American Society of Plastic Surgeon's surgeon to review my case. They are searching for one now. That is the hold up. That is a good start. Who better to review my case than someone who is skilled and knowledgeable in the matter.
I found out that the person who made the first decision on my case was a general surgeon. IMAGINE THAT!! Someone who fixes broken arms, legs, and body parts all day long and is not a plastic surgereon. Hmmmmm. How convient!!! Of course he can say no to something he knows nothing about.
This happened to me when I had my surgeries for my obstructive sleep apnea (UPPP surgery). They assigned a General Surgeon to my case and he denied me. When I appealed I requested an ENT surgeon and I won my appeal when someone who knew of my condition was consulted.
I will not give up. I will not let them tell me that my problems are not reconstructive. The way I see it Obesity is a disease. I have all of this skin left as a result of obesity. They always say that the definitions for reconstructive surgery are the following:
Reconstructive procedures – services are considered reconstructive procedures when a physical impairment exist and the primary purpose of the procedure is to improve or restore physiologic function for an organ or body part. By improving is restoring physiologic function is meant that a target organ or body part is made to work better.
Reconstructive surgery is performed on abnormal structures of the body, caused by congenital defects, developmental abnormalities, trauma, infection, tumors, or disease. It is generally performed to improve function but may also be done to approximate a normal appearance.
Therefore because of obesity (a disease), infections, rashes, back pain, neck pain, shoulder pain, and impairment in my walking and every aspect of my life (physiologic function). I have a slump in my back per my chiropractor from extra weight of the skin on my smaller frame body. I walk funny. I can not stand for long periods of time and when I do (working out) I am in major pain afterward. My arms are heavy and cause me pain when moving them or lifting things. How more physiologic can I get? lol. My treatment should be reconstructive surgery.
Sounds simple to me, but you all know insurance has to always make things complicated.
IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS WON APPEALS FOR RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY WITH UNITED HEALTH CARE -EPO PLEASE EMAIL ME PRIVATELY AT teenaadler@attbi.com
Thank you all for letting me vent. Have a great day and an even better weekend. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I am currently training for a 10K race that is taking place this summer and I am slowly increasing my time on the treadmill. I walked/ran 6 miles yesterday at 4.0 speed. It was very very hard. I know that if I keep doing it that it will get easier. I use my pre op pic in a bathing suit in the pool in Cancun as motivation when I am on the treadmill. I had it laminated and when I go work out I carry it with me so I can look at it while working out. It helps me push myself.
Now that my workouts have increased my water has also increased as well. I am now up to 100-120 oz a day. I feel better when I get in a lot of water. I am slowly but surely increasing protein. I really want to do a triathlon, but I think I will save that for next year after all reconstructive surgeries. My next major purchase will be an outdoor bike because I want to add variety to my 6 days a week workout.
The good thing is that I got on the scale this morning and I have lost 2 pounds. I now weigh 180. I have lost 125 pounds since 06-06-02. I now wear a size 12 (soon will be in a smaller size as 12’s are loose now). I am so happy as I am on schedule. I have met all of my goals that I have set for myself. I will be nine months out on March 6, 2003 and I am oh so happy WLS is working for me.
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be this fitness crazed. I just assumed that I would be morbidly obese for life. Even during all of my crazy diet attempts in the past I was never into exercising like this. I know a lot of it has to do with not having the extra 125 pounds on me, but the other part is that I know this time the weight loss is the real thing and will not come back as long as I use my tool properly.
My mother is really freaked because I am so into eating good and working out. She is just amazed at the changes in my lifestyle as well as in my body. She is very proud of me. I went through old childhood photos yesterday and was just shocked at what I looked like. I realized that I should have had gastric bypass in 8th grade. lol.
Even though I am almost 9 months out I still feel big, but when I look at my old photos I do not recognize myself. I have somehow disassociated myself with the old me. I feel almost as if I talk about the old me in a third person sort of way. For instance I feel so sorry for her. I can sense her pain of carrying around all of that weight. I know she was miserable. The person I made those comments about was me!!
I looked at my old wedding pics (I am divorced now by my choice) and I looked horrible. I was just so caught up in the moment that I thought that I looked great in my wedding dress. There was enough material on that dress to clothe a small family of four. We really do not realize how big we actually were until it is in print.
I have met new people since losing all of this weight and a lot of them say I never would have known you were so big. I find that very funny because I still feel big even though I can plainly see I am not. I am so happy that I have been given a second chance at life. I now have the chance to do all of the things in life I was too afraid to do because of my weight.
I will never let my weight stop me from living again. It just makes me so angry to think of all the things I have missed out on because of my weight. I plan to do all of the things I want to do and not stay hidden anymore. I plan to be an active participant in this game we call life. I will no longer sit back and hope to blind into the crowd. I want to be seen and heard just like everyone else.
I have also noticed that since losing the weight I have become more assertive, confident, and picky. I feel that when I was morbidly obese I was given scraps in life as if I was a dog and was made to settle in a lot of ways. Settle for men, jobs, and opportunities in general. Now I have earned the right to be picky. It is so much fun. I have a right to be picky and selective now. I do not have to feel privileged to be in someone’s presence because they accept me as I am. When I was big I was afraid to tell people no out of fear of being retaliated against regarding my weight. I did tell people no at times, but not as much as I really wanted to.
For years I was also so grateful for people to allow me to be around because I knew how embarrassing it was to be seen with someone so big. I also knew that they had to make special accommodations for me because of my size whenever we went out and I felt so bad for them and always use to apologize for my presence. I DO NOT HAVE TO DO THAT ANYMORE. I AM FREE. I hope everyone has a great weekend. I wish you all well with insurance approvals, consults, and surgery dates. I LOVE YOU ALL.
Identifying goals we'd like to achieve is usually easy. Successfully accomplishing these goals is the tricky part. Fortunately, psychological research has identified several strategies and suggestions that can help you get motivated, act, and achieve your goals.
Your motivation to strive for achievement is closely linked to what you believe about your abilities to produce the necessary or desired results in a situation is what psychologist Albert Bandura calls "Self-Efficacy".
Implementation Intentions: Turning goals into actions
Step 1: Form a goal intention.
This step involves translating vague, general intentions into a specific, concrete, and binding goal. "I intend to achieve _____________" filling in the blank with the particular behavior or outcome that you wish to achieve.
Step 2: Create implementation intentions
This step involves making a specific plan for turning your good intention into reality. The trick is to specify exactly where, when, and how you will carry out your intended behavior.
Mental Rehearsal: Visualize the process
The mental images you create in anticipation of a situation can strongly influence your sense of self-efficacy and self-control as well as the effectiveness of your implementation intentions.
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I am so scared right now as he is literally holding my destiny in his hands. I am trying so hard to stay positive right now because I know negativity will only destroy the things I have worked so hard for. This is a very hard day for me.
I have asked that notes be put on my account for someone to call me at home or cell no matter what the decision is, but we all know how that works. We will see. I am going to go workout, get my eyebrows plucked, and go get some studying done. I have to get out of the apartment and keep my mind busy. Luckily I have class tonight to do that. I have lost all faith in UHC, but I am ready for a second level appeal if they deny this one.
I just hate the waiting. It does not help that I am having computer issues. My NIC card is shot and I have to log on using AOL dial up. Ewwwwww. On a good note I have broken my stinkin thinkin and have been eating regularly for almost two weeks now. I will keep you all updated on the Reconstructive surgery saga. I wish you all well on insurance approvals, surgeries, conquering eating disorders or cravings. I LOVE YOU ALL.
03/07/03 - 3:31pm - I am back you guys. I missed you all so much. You have no idea how much I have missed being able to be online. My NIC card was messed up and I was unable to get online. The problem is resolved and I am back.
My insurance drama is still going on though. Still pissed about that, but prepared to do battle. I have an appoitment with the orthopedic surgeon on March 10th to gather more evidence of how the skin functionally impairs me. I also got a letter from the insurance commissioner today that a specialist has been assigned to my case and they are investigating my claim against United Health Care.
I am feeling so much better since I got their letter. It does not mean that things will go my way, but they will know that I am serious and I have gotten another agency involved. I am also happy about going to see the orthopedic surgeon as he is my last hope.lol.
I hope everyone is doing well and steadily losing or maintaining. If you are not you will soon. Don't be too hard on yourself stuff happens. It gets better everyday I promise you. On a great note, I am now nine months out as of 3-6-03 and have lost a total of 127 pounds and am 13 pounds from my personal goal of 165. I now weigh 178 pounds - wear size 11/12 clothes.
I have a feeling that I will end up smaller than that since I am still losing at a good rate, but I am black and I need my big booty so I hope I do not get any smaller. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT. I WAS KIDDING!!! I LOVE YOU ALL...
03/08/03 - 9:56 pm - 03/08/03 - 9:35 pm - Hello my AMOS Brothers and Sisters. Today was a great day. My angelette Hallie Miles gave me some info on Prepaid Legal service this morning. I went and met with the gentleman and signed up for the service. I am hoping that one of the attorneys at the law firm will have time to look at my information and contact United Health Care by phone or letter next week. I went and made copies of all of my medical documents, and insurance letters, and mailed it off to the law firm today. I am also going to fax information to the law firm so they can get started as soon as they can working on this for me. I need all the help I can get with this second appeal.
Went shopping with my mom and bought a cute dress at Sears for 80% off. I saw so many other cute dresses, but I chilled because I know I will not be able to wear them long. I also saw the cutest formal dresses, but I came to my senses as I know my 10 year high school reunion is not until July 2003 and I will have lost a lot of weight by then. I will wait to buy my dress two weeks before. I will blow everyone's mind as no one there has seen me smaller.
Tomorrow I will meet my Angelette Haliie Miles in person and I am so excited for her as her WLS journey will take off March 11th.
The rest of my weekend will be spent working out and hitting the books as I have a test to take next week even though it is Spring Break.Such is life. I gotta do it. I am praying that everyone is well. I LOVE YOU ALL. Keep your head up!!!
03/13/03 - 1:31 pm - Guess who has her strength back? I am back and more powerful then ever. I am in much better moods today.
I went to my plastic surgeons office and got my photos and appeal letter. The letter sucked royally, but the pics were good (yeah right). My pics look horrible and so disgusting, but that is what I need to get approved.
I then scanned them and created a password protected site on picture trail and then listed all my problems with the skin and the ASPS statement regarding reconstructive surgery after massive weight loss. I faxed over instructions on how to access the site along with password to United Health Care.
I got that idea as I was fumbling around with the pictures to do a presentation on picture trail. If I was proficient enough on Power Points I would do one on there, but this will do.
I hope this works. I LOVE YOU ALL.
Thank you all for the kind comments on my new picture.
03/15/03 – 6:54 pm - Hello my AMOS Brothers and Sisters. I just thought I would write to say hello and update you on the latest amusements going on in my life.
As some of you may know last Wednesday I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I was very devastated and very scared because when the doctor told me I had it I had no idea what I was and thought I was dying. It is funny now, but at the time I was so scared. I was given pain pills and muscle relaxers.
I am grateful for the pain relief, but I am leery of popping pills for the rest of my life. One of the side affects of one of them is weight gain. I will be on the scale daily. The minute my weight increases I will be changing meds. I am suppose to start physical therapy soon and focus more on water aerobics.
Today I got up early this morning and went with a friend to get Microdermabrasion. I was just going to watch, but ending up having it done myself. I just had it done today, but I can see a lil difference in my skin on my face already. It will get better with additional sessions. I go back next Saturday. A girl has to spoil herself every now and then.
I then went with parents and bought me some curtains for my bedroom. I majorily cleaned my apartment and did all of my chores I had been neglecting for two weeks now. Actually since February 24, 2003.
I have been so depressed since insurance denied me reconstructive surgeries. I have been in a foul mood and all of that has gone away. I woke up and realized that I am ok with or without all the skin. I want it gone believe you me, but if they deny me after my hearing (conference over the phone)March 25, 2003 I will survive and just self pay for arms and wait on stomach till next insurance as my old company is suppose to change insurance in July 2003.
I let this depress me so much that I forgot to turn in assignments for school. I failed two test. I did not eat. I did not sleep. I did not clean my apartment. I DID TAKE SHOWERS AND BRUSHED MY TEETH THOUGH!!!!! lol. I was miserable. I am back now and I want you all to know that life is very very hard sometimes and sometimes things get worse before they get better.
I just had to come to terms with reality and not let this destroy me and my attitude towards life because with or without nasty skin hanging ..."I AM STILL A FINE PEACE OF BLACKNESS" lol....that is my daily affirmation that I say to myself when I look in the mirror in the mornings...Can't believe I shared that with you all...lol. Yes, I am silly.
P.S. I went and bought 9/10 pants today and they fit!!!!!!!!
I have been trying really hard to come to terms with the fact that I have Fibromyalgia. It has not been easy. I know this sounds so stupid, but I feel like damaged goods. For years when I was overweight and slowly killing myself I knew that my health was fading and I was not going to be around forever. I just assumed that when the weight was gone that all of that would go away and my health would be restored to me and I would be all better
The fact that I feel like damaged goods come from the realization that I have now been diagnosed with a disorder after being able to tell people all of my co morbs were gone and I was healthy and normal again.
Please do not misunderstand this post and think that I am in this deep sea of depression as I am not. I AM FINE. I just wanted to let you all know that I feel this way and was wondering if anyone else understood and could relate.
Today was a bad morning as it took me 20 minutes to get out of bed because of my back and my legs. I do not know if I will ever get use to all of this stiffness and pain, but the meds are hopefully going to kick in soon.
The sad part of all of this is that if it was not for the constant pain you would not think anything was wrong with me, as I am very active. I work out 6 days a week for two hours and I am getting ready to join a soccer team.
I mostly have the hardest time when laying down, getting up, sitting down for long periods of time, and I can not sleep very well
I refuse to let this set me back though. I am the type of person that when faced with oppression I get mad and fight harder to prove that I can do something and I can succeed. I refuse to let things or people get in my way of what I want to do. I am a fighter and a survivor and I know I will not fail.
Even if you all do not feel that way sometimes you have to fake the funk and it will soon become a reality for you.
I LOVE YOU ALL. I am praying for all of you for insurance approvals, uneventful surgery dates, and a speedy recovery.
Update: Weight loss since 06-06-02 = 130 pounds Pre op weight: 305 Current weight: 175
When I got to my friends house it did not take an act of congress to get my body out of the car nor did my car make that huge jump that is use to when all 305 pounds of me would get out of the car. I have lost 130 pounds since 6-6-02 and as of today weigh 175 and wear size 9/10 and I was able to sit on my friend’s sofa without her husband giving me that look. You know the look: IS MY COUCH GOING TO HANDLE ALL OF HER WEIGHT? THE MAYBE YOU SHOULD SIT ON THE FLOOR LOOK.
I got asked the usual questions that people ask me when they have not seen me in forever: When are you going to stop losing weight? You are losing so fast is it healthy? You are going to end up skin and bones if you lose anymore. I answered the same way I always do: I am healthy. My body will stop losing when it is time. If I get underweight I will increase carbs to get to normal weight. You should not worry about my health as I am healthy and if I was not my doctors would know and they would take care of me. Thank you for the concern, but no need to worry.
I came to the following conclusions today about me and my life:
I am ok with who I am.
I am ok with my saggy nastiness called skin.
I am ok with the fact that I am now someone men feel the need to stare at, whistle at, and approach in the street and in bars/clubs and before I lost the weight most men were not attracted to me.
I am ok with the fact that I am not perfect nor will I ever be perfect.
I am ok with the fact that all I know about my past experiences in life were all about my weight and the things I did in life to survive through the pain of being obese.
I am ok with going to therapy to deal with the baggage that I have as a result of my past experiences regarding food, eating disorders, and bad body image.
I am ok with asking people to support me and listen to me when I have things on my mind.
I am ok with the thought of being alone as I have never been ok with that before. I always had to have a man in my life before.
I am ok with having people view my experiences, strengths, and hopes in the event that someone somewhere grows and becomes stronger from what I shared.
I am ok with where I am in my life and there is nothing that I would change.
I am ok with the fact that all of the things I have gone through in life whether good or bad has shaped me into the person I am today and because of my past I am a stronger person.
I am also ok with the fact that if I do nothing else in my life after today I will take pride in knowing that I made goals and I accomplished them and I also did everything in my power to respect others and never do people wrong.
Pretty good day huh. I am so emotional right now and on this whole enlightenment stage. I am in a really great mood. I am on top of the world. I am learning more and more about myself everyday. The more I get out into the real world and experience new things I get stronger and stronger. I realize all of the things that I have missed out on for so long. I urge you all to get out and start experiencing life and stop letting it pass you by. You only live once so I live everyday to the fullest. I wanna see all there is to see. I LOVE YOU ALL.
03/18/03 - 2:06 pm - I found this information on OSSG plastic surgery forum.One lady had noted that she had a functional capacity testing and it tested her on her abilty to lift, carry,bend, sit,walk, and etc. The findings of her testing helped her get approved for reconstructive surgery as well as her documented info from her physicians.
When I read this I started thinking that maybe this could be something that could benefit me in my 2nd level appeals process since I do have problems with doing those things. I called and found out that it is a covered benefit under my plan as long as my PCP refers me.
I called and got a referal and am scheduled for testing on March 24th.
I just thought I would post this info as I know some of you are also going through insurance denial as well and could possibly benefit from this.
Impairment Evaluation concentrates on the injured area or areas, documenting current physical abilities and producing degrees and percentages
of impairment in comparison to industry-accepted standards.
These testing procedures, used independently or jointly, seek first and foremost to provide a precise and focused analysis of a patient's injury, degree of mobility (verifying their loss or lack of ability) and measured restrictions to their daily life. These Testing and Evaluation Methods also produce highly detailed medical reports, an integral part of case management, which will help you to build a stronger case.
GOOD LUCK. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I was absolutely convinced that WLS would be the same way. I had the surgery with the thought that this would not work. I had the surgery and did what I was told to do by my doctor. I exercised, ate healthy, drank my water, did protein first, and took my vitamins daily. Weight loss was something I had skills in. The problem I had in the past was keeping it off.
I have successfully lost 130 pounds and have no fear that it will be coming back. Why? I have established healthy patterns for myself. and will continue the healthy habits because I liked the results I got from following them. I have changed what are and what are not acceptable eating and exercise routines for me. I have changed my entire lifestyle.
It was not easy. I did and still do make mistakes. The only difference for me between now and then is I learn from my mistakes and try my best not to repeat them or make them habit.
We would not be human beings if we were not fearful of something’s.
If you think about it we as Morbidly Obese people live our lives trapped behind all of this fat for years. Many of us never letting people get close to us out of fear that they will not like what they see when they get to know the real you. Many of us live our lives trapped in our homes never going out with friends or family out of fear of what other people who do not know us may say. Some of never apply for jobs we wanted out of fear of being seen as sloppy. Some of us did not make eye contact or talk to men out of fear of rejection.
As we all know that is not living. That is not the way God, our parents, or us intended to live our lives. We had dreams and aspirations of being all that we could be, but somewhere down the line we got sidetracked and lost in the shuffle that I call life. Being Morbidly Obese is a very disabling thing. Not only does it limit your physical aspects of life, but mental and social aspects as well.
My whole philosophy on being fat was no one would want to be around me because I am fat, I can't get great jobs because I am fat, I can't find a great guy because I am fat. Being fat was my excuse for everything. Yes, being fat limited me to some things as a lot of people are prejudiced against people who are overweight, but looking back my attitude and the way I carried myself assisted with a lot of disappointments that I had with the world. I was not happy with me and therefore how could I ethically think anyone else would be. I never saw it that way then, but after losing 130 pounds, I do.
My only fear now is what excuse do I have to use when I do not get the jobs, boyfriends, or opportunities in life that I wanted? I have no scapegoat now. It is all on me.
I guess I could blame it on my newly acquired beauty.. lol....
Keep up the great work everyone. Everyday is a new day full of self discovery to me made. I hope that everyone can look within himself or herself to see the things in you that everyone else sees who love you. LOVE YOURSELF! I pray that God protects and watches over my AMOS family and soldiers in the war. Thank you all for your kind words and emails. I LOVE YOU ALL .
William Durant
I JUST WANT TO REITERATE I WAS NOT TRYING TO FALSIFY READINGS TO FLUNK THE TEST TO GO IN MY FAVOR. I was doing all tests the way they were meant to be done, but I just did not have the strength to do them very long. I know most of that is my chronic pain kicking in and possibly some aspects of the good OLE Fibromyalgia I have been recently diagnosed with, but whatever combination did the trick works for me. I FAILED.YEA!!!!!! I have Functional Impairments. Now what will UHC say now? They will come up with something.
I have to wait for a report to be typed up. The bad thing is the report will not be written for another two days, but when I have my hearing tomorrow 03-25-03 @2:30pm I will definitely be sure to mention I am awaiting results from my functional capacity test and ask them to defer making a decision ‘til results are back.
I just wanted to let you all know how much your kind words, emails of support, and love have helped me through the rough spots through my WLS journey. You all mean so much more to me than you will ever know. I read all post and am touched by all of you. I have tons of email waiting in my box, but you have not been ignored. I am just so busy with school and test and insurance drama, but I will respond soon.
I hope everyone is well. We are all in this fight together. No one should ever be alone when there are so many people on here to offer support and understanding. Don’t just sit back and be a lurker all your life. Join in on the fun, you might make a new friend for life. Be good to yourself because no one else will be good to you until you respect yourself, set up boundaries, and learn to love yourself. I LOVE YOU ALL.
03/28/03 – 10:48 am - Hello everyone. I have been very busy, but have been reading behind the scenes. I am so glad to see that you all are doing well. I wish you all luck with insurance approvals and surgery dates. I am praying for you all.
I got another official denial letter from United Healthcare yesterday. It is a joke.
The denial letter states: The Committee reviewed all documentation and information presented, and determined that abdominoplasty and brachioplasty is not a covered service.
Clinical review determined that the proposed abdominoplasty and brachioplasty is not anticipated to improve an impairment of physiological function and that the services are not being provided to treat a medical condition.
It was the determination of the Committee to uphold the decision to deny coverage
There policy also states: Reconstructive procedures – services are considered reconstructive procedures when a physical impairment exist and the primary purpose of the procedure is to improve or restore physiologic function for an organ or body part. By improving is restoring physiologic function is meant that a target organ or body part is made to work better
Reconstructive surgery is performed incidental to an injury, sickness, or congenital anomaly when the primary purpose is to improve physiological functioning of the involved part of the body. The fact that physical appearance may change or improve, as a result of reconstructive surgery does not classify such a surgery as cosmetic when a functional impairment exists, and the surgery restores or improves function.
Abdominoplasty is generally a cosmetic service. Rarely, there may be a documented functional impairment, which can only be repaired with abdominoplasty. In that event, the abdominoplasty is a reconstructive procedure.
I have one more shot with an outside company looking at my information this is called Voluntary External Review.
I hope that they side in my favor, but as you all know the company is a company that is picked by UHC and not me so determination is probably still biased.
I took new pics on my digital to send to UHC. I took 7 of abdomen and 6 of arms pulling on the skin and showing just how deformed I am because of the redundant skin.
The pictures look so gross, but I felt that I had to do it in order to get them to see how this skin is affecting my physiologic functions.
I had my sister take them while she was lying on the ground and I was bending over so they could get the full effect of how the skin limits my daily activities. I took pics actually stretching the skin out as far as it can go. Just call me Stretch Adler. I'll be headlining in a Carnival in a town near you soon.
The most important thing about all of this is that I am not depressed or suicidal. I am still confident and optimistic that there is hope. I talked about this with my therapist yesterday and when I first went in her office I cried about this and by the end of the session me and her was laughing about it all. She said that I am so different because when people, places, and things get in my way I get sad for a bit and then I get real mad and I come up with new ideas or resolutions. I never keep the same emotion for very long. My emotional outburst or breakdowns always lead to something positive.
I never realized that about myself. I guess it is true what people say about survival instincts and that when you are attacked you go for the kill. I am going for blood in this case with UHC. I want someone’s head on a stick. LOL. I hope you all have a wonderfully day and an even better weekend. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I am very sorry to hear of Sally S struggles right now. I am glad she is at least getting the right tests and assistance that she needs. I will continue to keep her and her family in my prayers.
Life is too short to spend your days wondering on shoulda coulda wouldas people. If there are things in life that you want to do or have always dreamed of doing JUST DO IT! Go for it. You will never know what coulda happened if you don't try. Find the strength within yourself to step out of the box and do the things you have always dreamed about. Be creative. Be unique. Do something safe, but outrageous. You deserve it.
You can not sit back and watch life go by and then wonder why your life is not so great. I know a lot of us have problems getting around or problems with pain due to excessive weight, redundant skin, or even illnesses like Fibromyalgia, Osteoporosis, or Osteoarthritis. While those things will slow you down and make things a little hardier I urge you to please do all of the things you want to do in life.
At any given moment life can be taken from us and we will never know what it was like to do things we have dreamed of. My weird thing to do that I have always dreamed of was piercing my tongue. I did that when I lost my first 50 pounds. I have always wanted to jump out of a plane or go on a ride over the ocean. This May 22-29 when I am in Cancun, Mexico I plan to do that. When I lost the weight I thought it would be cool to become a personal trainer so I can always stay in shape and help others stay healthy.
May 12-16 before my trip, I become a certified personal trainer. I paid for these things several months ago in the hopes that since it is paid for I would not back out. I will follow through because I am determined and focused. I will also follow through because I want this. I feel the burn and I want it. I am driven or obsessed whichever explains my madness.
Yes, I get off course from my goals from time to time. Everyone will. No one is perfect. We just have to look deep down inside and get the inspiration to get back on course and follow through to the end.
It is all about goals and how much they mean to you to see them through. It’s all about living your life the way you have always wanted to and doing things you have always wanted to do.
How much does losing the weight mean to you?
How much does working out on a regular basis mean to you?
How much does starting healthy lifestyle habits mean to you?
If you died today would you be happy with all that you have accomplished in life?
If this were your last day alive would you be pleased at all that you have seen and done?
Would you feel complete? What was the highlight of your life?
What would you have done differently?
What is in it for you? You have to ask yourself these things and apply them to everything you do.
Life is a precious gift and it should be treasured. I live everyday like it is my last. Some people do not agree with that line of thinking, because they feel it is morbid, but it is the only way that I know how to live and get through the day not stressed or freaked out with all the world issues going own.
I made a promise to myself that when I lost the weight that people, places, things, or me for that matter would never stand in my way of what I want to do in life.
I am reaching for the stars and no star is too high. Never let people talk you into believing that you are not capable or good enough to do something. Never let anyone steal your sunshine and make you feel bad about you. You are all beautiful people inside and outside. No matter what anyone tells you, YOU are beautiful. FAT, SMALL, SHORT, TALL. You are all beautiful whether you feel that way or not and are worthy of love, affection, and respect. Never let anyone tell you differently.
I truly believe everything I just said. I am not a fake or a phony. Anyone who knows me knows that I care about people and would never do or say anything to hurt someone intentionally. I have not lived the greatest life in the world. I have had tragedies in my life that should have left me numb to the world and cold hearted, but my hard times only did the opposite and added character and made me stronger and allowed me to know what love and compassion is all about. Never let this crazy trip we are all on I call life get you down. Just remember it could always be worse. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I have to tell you my entire story because I do believe you are the only ones who would understand my madness. Earlier today I called the appeals coordinator for UHC and asked if he got my overnight package of pictures and etc for my external review. He said he had not received it. I flipped because someone signed for it, but he did not know who that person was. Then he told me that no other info could be added, as the external review was already under way. HE SET ME UP !!!!! So you all know I was very pissed as I had told him not to send it in until I sent him my pictures I took on the 27th. He did this on purpose because he knew my nasty skin pics would help me win my case.
I went to check my mail and got the official notice that my external review was started and I would hear something in 30 days. So I looked at the letter and they listed the name of the company that was suppose to be handling my case. So you all know how good I am with finding stuff, right? I looked all day and there was no such company!!!
I started doing searches for Internal Review organizations that were used by government offices in Utah, Texas, and California and I called every single one I could find on the internet that was big until I got a break. I am not looking forward to my phone bill next month.
I called this one company in particular first and the person on the phone was following the rules and would not let me speak to anyone. I called back six times (spacing the time out between calls by an hour)’til I got a DUMMY. I shouldn't say that. She was very nice to me and she gave me what I tricked her into telling me. This person looked up my name and told me what department was handling my file and everything. She gave me a fax number and address for the people handling my case.
The sad thing is I had to lie and pretend to be my attorney. I hate lying and it messed with my conscience a lil bit, but heck this is my life they are playing with. No one cares more about this than me. I did not give a name or anything like that I just said that I was representing my client Ms. Adler and we have some information that is crucial to her case and it needs to be given to the review department handling her case immediately. See what watching Law and Order and CSI can do for a girl. Anyway I have another packet waiting and ready to be mailed first thing tomorrow morning to them.
I have already faxed over a letter explaining that UHC sent in external review without waiting for my information and to refrain from making a decision until photos are received. I hope they listen to me. I just had to share this with you all because I will damned if UHC screws me over again. I LOVE YOU ALL.
You can never have too much information. Knowledge is power and the more you know the better off you will be in the long run. Ask lots of questions. A surgeon who does not like to answer your questions and put your mind at ease is a surgeon I would not want operating on me. Ask questions to members on here through the Q and A board or through personal email so that you can get an answer. If it is medical related questions your best bet would be to ask your physician or surgeon. We are very knowledgeable around here on various topics, but everyone has different WLS procedures and they are all done differently by different surgeons.
Be sure that you can be compliant with your surgeon’s guidelines regarding aftercare. I know we are not all perfect and WLS is a learning experience, but if you intentionally go into WLS knowing that you will not follow the guidelines or even attempt to follow the guidelines what is the point? I urge you to wait and try other means for weightloss until you can commit yourself to all that is involved in WLS. You will make mistakes along the way because of a lifetime of bad eating habits and etc, but try to obtain healthy habits so that you can make the best out of this tool.
You are on a path that will lead you to freedom. The tool works when you work it. WLS is a tool that will allow you to improve your health and become the person you have always wanted to be through setting goals and achieving them. It will not make your problems go away. If you have issues with food, overeating, bulimia, anorexia, body image, sexual abuse issues, etc they will still be there after WLS so I stress for you to seek counseling of some sort possibly during and after WLS so that you can get a hold of your issues.
I can honestly say for myself that if I would not have sought counseling before and after WLS I would be an emotional wreck right now. With all the hills we have to climb over to get WLS and all the slopes we have to go down while losing the weight you are bound to have issues come back to haunt you somewhere done the road. If you have friends or family that you can speak to that is great. Please be sure to keep the lines of communication open. Being alone going through WLS is something that can be done, but support is very important.
Keep track of your every move through the WLS process. I swear months from now you will look back at it and have a great laugh. There are times when I get down and I look back at my journals and see that what I am going through is nothing compared to past experiences and I cheer myself up and move on. It is also a great idea to take pictures before surgery front, back, and side and then continue taking them once a month to see how you have evolved. You can also use them for inspiration when you are on a plateau. You can also use your before picture like I do. I have it laminated and I take it to the gym and put it on the treadmill and I run/walk my heart out. Almost like running away from who I use to be and it gives me motivation to never go back to 305.
I just wanted to let you all know that these are my ideas and opinions and not everyone will agree with my statements, but these are things that worked for me and maybe just maybe they will work for you. I wish you luck with insurance approvals, uneventful surgeries, and speedy recoveries. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I know I know... up my protein, water, and exercise... already done that still not one lil move on the scale. I will be patient and do what I am already doing ‘til I see results. I have even switched up workouts. So hopefully the scale will get busy moving.
On a good note I found a cool website on external reviews and how they go about making decisions on reviews. They go by medical standards or research standards relating to whatever condition you are suffering from.
That means that my chances of approval for abdominoplasty and brachioplasty approval by them are good because the ASPS has a position statement publish on Treatment of Redundant skin after massive weight loss that they have to abide by. I am not getting my hopes up as I have been let down so many times, but I am optimistic now and determined to win.
My other option is when my old company changes insurance in June I will start all over again with that company and since I have had insurance consistently it will not be a pre existing condition.
There is hope after all this darkness. I am in good spirits and ready to move on with my life. Once the skin is gone I know I will feel better. Hopefully my doctor’s visits will decrease as well.
I have spent 500.00 since January 2003 on doctor’s co-pays and medications for rashes, fungal and bacterial infections, intertrigo, back, neck, and shoulder pain caused by all of this skin. I do not work so you know spending that cash hit me hard.
Enough of my babbling. I wish you all well on insurance approvals and surgery dates. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I just got back from the post office from mailing it. I know I will probably not be picked since I am sure so many people have already written her, but it was fun to write the letter anyway.
Don't let your insurance company keep you down. Give em hell and hold them accountable. I hope everyone is having a great day. I LOVE YOU ALL.
04/06/03 - 9:48 am - Hello AMOS Brothers and Sisters. Today is my 10-month Anniversary of WLS. I can not believe that it has been that long. It feels like it was yesterday when I had Lap RNY with gallbladder removal. I had surgery 6-6-02 and I weighed 305 the day of surgery tight size 28 and I DO MEAN TIGHT. After losing 130 pounds in 9 months (I am on a plateau again!) I now weigh 175 tight tight tight size 10(who cares if I can’t breath, bend over or sit down I am in them) and am 10 pounds away from my goal of 165.
I am doing great no major problems except for Fibromyalgia, which is not a complication of WLS. My doctors think I have had it for years, but because I was obese they think my doctors just dismissed/ignored my pain complaints as normal pain morbidly obese people have. Nice huh?
I have had many ups and downs along the way that are just normal everyday facts of life. I have not had any complications as a result of WLS. My journey has been great. Sometimes I feel so guilty because I know a lot of you have had complications and mine was smooth sailing.
I was laid off Jan 20, 2003 and decided to go to school and better myself instead of rushing back into corporate America. I took a negative and turned it into a positive. I also decided that I wanted to be a personal trainer so I go and get certified for that next month. Now I will be in charge of my health as well as helping other people achieve their goals.
I have had some depression as a result of plateaus and insurance denials for reconstructive surgery, but I am fine now. I let those things get me down. They nearly destroyed me. I was really distraught over the scale not moving and my insurance company telling me no. I have decided to fight and continue to fight them until they see things my way. My case is still in external review unfortunately. They have my new photos I took and new information. UHC says they have until April 27, 2003 to make a decision, but they usually make it in 15 days.
If they approve me and it is near the end of April I will wait to have surgeries ‘til after I get back from my trip to Cancun May 22-29, 2003. I do not need to go on vacation and have problems with circumfrential abdominoplasty or arm lift in Mexico far away from my surgeon. I am still hopeful through all my denials that the external review board will do what is right. I will not give up because I deserve the best.
For years I did what everyone else wanted me to do and ignored the things that mean the most me. I acted as if my feelings were not important, but as long as everyone else was happy I should be too. WRONG! I was miserable inside. I never got my needs met by family, boyfriends/ex-husband, work, and etc. I let people push me around because of my weight.
When I was big I felt that I did not have say so in things. I felt like my opinion did not matter. I know that my self-esteem was extremely low then, but now that I have lost the way there is no reason for me to feel that way.
I have high self-esteem now. I am not conceited or cocky. JUST CONVINCED. Just kidding. I feel beautiful now on the inside and outside. I know I am someone now and that I can be anything I want to be and achieve whatever goals I have set for myself because I have confidence in myself that I never had before.
I will never accept no for an answer from anyone without a good fight. When you want something out of life and you think you will be turned down or disappointed it does not hurt to ask because the worst that can happen is that they say no. Then you just have to ask them again. lol. I always speak my mind now. Sometimes that gets me in trouble, but at least my voice is always heard.
I just wanted to let you all know that my 10 months since WLS have not been easy nor have they been bad or hard just normal ups and downs that anyone would have. I acknowledged my problems, reacted negative or positively to my problems, dealt with my problems, and then moved on. NO NEED TO DWELL ON THEM.
Shoulda Coulda Woulda's never get you anywhere. It’s all about ACTIONS.
Enjoy your journey and cherish it. I LOVE YOU ALL.
To those who are having surgery this week I pray that you have an uneventful surgery and a speedy recovery. For those of you who are a plateau from hell like me I have four things to say INCREASE PROTEIN WATER EXERCISE....You know the drill. I am so happy that I am feeling better now that new meds are helping with the pain from Fibromyalgia.
I am going today to get new meds to help with sleeping since the other meds my doctor had me on made me gain 5 pounds last week (You know I am on top of that and I have already lost the 5 pound - persistence pays oh yeah fear helped me too).
Keep up the great work you all. Life is what you make it and I have made my life pretty darn good on my side of the block. I LOVE YOU ALL.
04/08/03 - 9:16 am - Good Morning all my AMOS Brothers and Sisters. I hope everyone is having a lovely day. The weather sucks here right now in good OLE Dallas, TX, but by the end of the day I know it will turn around. I hope my joints are killing me. It is soooo cold.
I am praying for everyone to get approved for WLS and reconstructive surgery and for people who are having surgeries today and this week to have uneventful surgeries and speedy recoveries. God Bless you all.
I also had to come online and let you all know that my plateau has lifted. DID YOU HEAR ME???? IT HAS LIFTED!!!!! I have lost 2 pounds since Sunday. Total weight loss since surgery 6-6-02 is 132 pounds. I am NOW 8 pounds away from my goal of 165. I am so happy. I am just bouncing off the walls and filled with so much joy.
When you set goals and you go above and beyond to accomplish them they really do happen. I am so happy right now that I am crying. I never ever want to go back to the way I was before. I never want to live my whole life hidden behind food and trapped away from society.
I have come out of my shell so much in the last 10 months that some of the things I do surprise my family and me. The way I dress is more revealing and trendy. Before I was always trying to cover up or disguise the fat, as if 305 pounds could be disguised.
Now I try to buy the tightest clothes I can find (helps hide the 25 pounds of redundant skin I have hanging) plus it gives me shape. I feel better when I am dressed nice. I feel very feminine and beautiful when I look good. I never felt that way before WLS. I never felt pretty. I always felt ugly and disgusting looking. I know I wasn’t, but I always felt that way because of how society reacted towards me.
I have had many many plateaus, but I have gotten to the point where I accept them and push harder and they always lift in the end when I least expect it.
Even though I was recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia I still work out at my gym (24 Hour Fitness and the gym at my apt's) 6 days a week for two hours and I may suffer for it later with pain, but my muscles love me for it. I love me for it too because my body can't function right when I do not work out. I crave it now. Yes, I am an exercise junkie and my name is Teena. lol.
I hope everyone gets everything they want in life and in love. Always remember that the things that you want are so worth fighting for. No one cares more about your needs than you. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I would not be freaking out unless you know that you have been eating the wrong things and not been exercising. If you have been doing the things you know you need to do to see results then do not worry and keep doing what you are doing and the weight will go away.
The other thing you need to remember is that muscle weighs more than fat. So if you are working out and gain weight you are losing weight and gaining muscle. THAT IS A GOOD THING. Stop getting on the scale so frequently if numbers freak you out.
I weigh daily because emotionally I am strong enough to see the numbers daily and know when I have gained muscle or fat. I gained five pounds and lost them last week because of new medication. I have since lost 2 more pounds this week as a result of increasing water and protein and working out excessively.
Do not compare your weight to anyone else's because you do not know what they are doing in their program as far as foods and working out and everyone's body is different. If I compared myself to some people’s weightloss on here I would be in tears because I feel that I have lost slower than some.
Detail your program to the way you want it and then work it. No one is going to follow it by the book all the time.
It is ok to splurge sometimes, but do not make bad food choices a habit.
Get back on track and do what you know you need to do. The weight will come off. So what if it is slower than others it will come off. Good Luck everyone. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I just received the call that the external review board has deemed my abdominoplasty and brachioplasty cosmetic. I do not have the full story as I do not have the official letter in my hand.
I am very angry, upset, hurt, frustrated, and hella hella unstable right now in my emotions.
I know this is only surface and not who I really am.
I know that I will bounce back soon and not be so hostile and hurt right now, but all I can do now is cry.
I have done so well losing the weight and doing all that I needed to do to be healthy. I am very grateful that I am healthy and alive. I have my health except Fibromyalgia, chronic neck, back, and shoulder pain, rashes and infections so please do not think I take that for granted.
I know I could be worse and I could be fighting for my life like so many people in the world are who suffer with cancer, and other terminal diseases.
I would rather be the way I am now anyday over the way I was before WLS. I just have to say that I have lost all faith in insurance companies and I have lost all faith in the system.
I am going to file a lawsuit against United Healthcare. I do realize it could take years and so on and lots of money, but I do not care. It is the principle that they are wrong and I am right. I am invested in this and will do whatever it takes.
I do have an option of changing insurance in June 2003 to BCBS, but I have already gotten email from people telling me it would be considered an existing condition or complication from a previous surgery and would probably be denied. I am still going to try it though. As I will have had insurance consecutively with no breaks so the preexisting condition clause may not apply, but I will investigate. Believe me I will do my homework.
I actually have money to pay for one of the surgeries minus cost of potential complications and follow-up. The price jumps up with self-pay though when I am just getting one procedure and not two in the same day. I have to pay for hospital, anesthesia, and surgeon fee, etc and goes way over what I have saved up from my severance.
I am very sad, but not depressed or feeling so bad that I can not go on. I have a life that must continue skin or no skin. I just want to advise you all that are just starting this journey.
DO NOT COUNT ON YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY PAYING FOR YOUR RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERIES WHEN YOU LOOSE ALL THE WEIGHT!!!
I am not trying to talk you out of WLS because I am glad that I am now where I am weight and health wise. I just say not to count on it and be so sure of it as I was.
I had documentation of every rash, infection, back, neck, and shoulder pain, functional capacity test proving I was functionally impaired when it came to lifting, reaching, sitting for long periods of times and so on, letters and records from Chiropractor, PCP, Bariatric surgeon, OB-GYN, Plastic Surgeon, Dermatologist, Physical Therapist documenting all of my problems with redundant skin.
I had documentation galore.
THEY STILL STAY IT WAS COSMETIC AND NOT RECONSTRUCTIVE.
Start saving your money now for procedures you may need when you are at goal weight. Save every dime you can. I do not wish being stuck looking or feeling like this on my worst enemy.
It is a debilitating feeling to come so far and be stuck with a deformed body like this. With clothes on I am cool, but without clothes I am a nightmare. Thanks for letting me ramble. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I went to my support group meeting tonight (only) because Dr. Pownell (another plastic surgeon) was giving his presentation on reconstructive surgery after WLS. I was crying quietly the whole way through his presentation because of my current situation with denial of reconstructive surgery with UHC. All appeals have been exhausted in case you are not up to speed with my story and I am SOL.
I have had an appointment to see him on June 27, 2003 for three months now. I am still going to see him. He is one of the better plastic surgeons at getting people approved for WLS. He was my back up surgeon.
I have a chance to change to BCBSTX PPO in June 2003, but there may be exclusions on policy regarding reconstructive surgery and so on. I will find out end of April. Dr. Pownell is on BCBSTX PPO provider list. He strongly believes in helping WLS patients and he will fight for me with insurance company.
With my last plastic surgeon he wrote two crappy letters and did not assist me with any of the appeals. None of his letters addressed the main points of why the surgeries were needed. He was mostly relying on the other letters I had therefore his letters were not detailed enough and his letter was the main one they took info from I have found out later on down the road. He is a great surgeon do not get me wrong, his hands are great and his work is beautiful, but his letter writing is bad.
I just wanted to let you all know that nothing is ever really over with until you decide it is over. Nothing is ever bad unless you decide it is bad. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO TURN ANY SITUATION AROUND.
I know that what I am going through seems like no big deal to some of you judging by some emails I have received. I know a lot of you have other pressing issues in your lives that are way more important than what I am going through. I will give you that respect, but I never come online talking down to people or making them feel like their issues are not my concern.
Everyone has a right to what they feel or think, but please people think before you email someone giving criticism. Words are like swords and they have the ability to cut someone so deep. There is a tactful way to address all issues. Some emails I received were just uncalled for. Yes, this is my body and yes, I am unhappy with the way it looks and yes it might be superficial, but I lost every last 132 pounds with my blood, sweat, and tears and if I do not have a right to feel secure with the appearance of my body who does?
Yes, I had WLS for my health, but lets keep it real people everyone has a need or desire to feel attractive to others. Having a body that I am proud of and not ashamed of is a VERY BIG deal to me and being disfigured is emotionally devastating for me. I feel as if a part of me has died. Maybe you do not feel that way, but I do. I just accept it, deal with it, and move on. I have a right to feel the way I feel.
Granted we are in the middle of a war and some of your loved ones are there risking their lives, people (some of my family members) are dying of Cancer, we have worldwide epidemic of SARS going around, and the economy sucks, but for me this is the most awful thing that has happened TO ME personally this year.
Just like some of you have lost pets and I can not understand the whole grieving process for an animal, I do not brush it off as being less important than anything else.
I guess what I am trying to say is this was devastating for me and people making fun of me by email because they feel this is not a big deal is not cool, compassionate, or characteristics of someone with love in their heart for another human being. There I got it out.
I have met with five attorneys already today and have five more to meet with next week regarding my case against UHC. I have a huge decision to make. I will file the civil suit against UHC for breach of contract/bad faith insurance. I just have to decide what attorney to go with.
HEY RHONDA WILLIAMS - WHAT KIND OF CASES DO YOUR ATTORNEYS HANDLE?
I wish you all luck in your journeys this week. DO NOT GIVE UP ON WLS or RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY APPROVALS. You giving up is what the insurance companies expect. You have to fight and hold them accountable. I will continue to fight even if it drains me. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I am writing this letter to lodge a formal complaint against the appeals department. I feel that my medical documentation, current medical problems, and current medical research from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons and the American Medical Association have been ignored in making a determination of whether the procedures are cosmetic or reconstructive in my case.
It is my understanding that health insurance companies are suppose to follow current medical standards set by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons and American Medical Association in making determinations regarding cases that could be considered cosmetic or reconstructive.
I have been battling with United Healthcare for several months in regards to predetermination for medical necessary reconstructive procedures that are recommended by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, American Medical Association, and by all of my physicians after massive weight loss and applicable health problems present.
I have exhausted all appeals and feel that my appeals process was not handled correctly. I was given a chance to present my case by teleconference and not in person as I requested. I have now discovered all of my documentation was not reviewed and that I am not being given a better answer for denial other than you feel it is cosmetic. I want an answer to the following questions.
Why do you feel it is cosmetic?
What do you have to say about my current condition how they are affected by the skin?
What formula was used in determining it was cosmetic?
Why were the guidelines set by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons and American Medical Association being ignored in making a determination of whether procedures are cosmetic or reconstructive?
Just telling me it is cosmetic is not enough. Especially when we all know that there is a fine line between what is cosmetic and what is reconstructive. I need to know how this conclusion was made.
What about what the American Society of Plastic Surgeons and American Medical Association say about reconstructive surgery procedures after massive weight loss? Do you always ignore medical data given by such medical institutions that set the standards and guidelines for medical practice?
These procedures that I am requesting are not being requested for “cosmetic reasons.” For reference, the following definition of cosmetic and reconstructive surgery was adopted by the American Medical Association (AMA), June 1989:
Cosmetic surgery is performed to reshape normal structures of the body in order to improve the patient's appearance and self-esteem.
Reconstructive surgery is performed on abnormal structures of the body, caused by congenital defects, developmental abnormalities, trauma, infection, tumors, or disease. It is generally performed to improve function, but may also be done to approximate a normal appearance.
The redundant skin is an abnormal structure of the body caused by obesity, which is a disease. Therefore removal of the redundant skin would be considered reconstructive because removal of the redundant skin would improve function to my abdomen and arms and alleviate current medical problems.
My case is complex at best, however so are your definitions regarding cosmetic and reconstructive surgery. I could understand a decision for denial for abdominoplasty 15831 and brachioplasty 15836 if I did not have all of the health problems that I do as a result of the excess skin. The fact that I have all of the health problems and have been treated for several months consecutively with no improvement by various UHC doctors and you still refuse me reconstructive surgeries is a blatant breach of contract and bad faith insurance.
Your own guidelines state:
Reconstructive procedures – services are considered reconstructive procedures when a physical impairment exist and the primary purpose of the procedure is to improve or restore physiologic function for an organ or body part. By improving is restoring physiologic function is meant that a target organ or body part is made to work better.
Reconstructive surgery is performed incidental to an injury, sickness, or congenital anomaly when the primary purpose is to improve physiological functioning of the involved part of the body. The fact that physical appearance may change or improve, as a result of reconstructive surgery does not classify such a surgery as cosmetic when a functional impairment exists, and the surgery restores or improves function.
Abdominoplasty is generally a cosmetic service. Rarely, there may be a documented functional impairment, which can only be repaired with abdominoplasty. In that event, the abdominoplasty is a reconstructive procedure.
UHC appeals coordinator Joshua Keaton also sent me your guidelines regarding cosmetic and reconstructive surgery and on it there was the American Society of Plastic Surgeons position paper on abdominoplasty dated 1994 listed under references and resources. Yet UHC fails to abide by their guidelines by denying me approval for reconstructive surgeries that could improve my functional impairments that have been documented.
I wish to file a complaint regarding the unfair practices of the appeals department as well as give UHC one more chance to rectify the situation before I pursue legal action for breach of contract. I ask that a formal extensive investigation be made into this situation and an explanation be given to me on how all of this is legal and is justified. Thank you
for your time and consideration.
I saw messages on the board about plastic surgery after WLS last night. They really pissed me off. Maybe I am the only one who felt that way. There were comments from one woman saying don’t worry about the excess skin and be glad that you lost the weight and don’t let the skin get you down and control your life and be happy and Yadda Yadda Yadda.
It is fine for her to say that as she has had reconstructive surgery already. It is great if her insurance paid for it or if she had the cash laying around to pay for it. She is entitled to her opinions. However, if she had not had the abdominoplasty done would she still be saying just be happy with it? We will never know.
There was also another lady who said that she would be happy if she did not have it, but she was fortunate enough to have the cash to pay for it. She also said if people wanted to get it done do it and save for it and do all that you can to have it done if it is your desire because she loves the results.
If it was not a big deal and she would be happy even with excess skin all over the place why have it removed?
If she would have been happy with yourself with skin hanging all over why spend cash that you could spend on something else on reconstructive surgery? Why go through procedures that are risky and painful if she would be happy even if the excess skin were there? The reason is because after all is said and done we want to look good in and out of our clothes and appearances do matter and self esteem has a lot to do with how you look and how you feel about yourself. Let’s keep it real people.
These people are entitled to how they feel, but how realistic are they regarding how we should feel when they have already had their excess skin removed? I do not let the excess skin consume my entire life or ruin things for me, but it is the completion of my journey that I am waiting for. The disappointment is real and not imagined.Emotionally and physically I hurt. It is also a constant disruption in my life by having to seek medical attention for every rash and infection I get because of skin breakdown.
How sexy is it to walk ‘til your thighs rub together so much they bleed? Nice visual image huh? I feel that people who live in glass houses should not throw stones, so until you know how I feel no one has a right to tell me how to feel or what to think. I hate my body the way it is with all the skin there. I do not feel as attractive as I would like to feel. I have emotional problems as a result of the skin. It has affected my life in a negative way, but no matter what I do those feelings will not go away until the skin is gone.
Body Dysmorphic Syndrome is not just something you wake up and say ok self just get over it and be happy. It is a debilitating disorder. I am in counseling for it, but it only helps so much, as the excess skin is still there.I am happier at this weight than 305, but I would be even happier minus skin.
I chose to post this on my AMOS profile and personal site instead of directly on the AMOS board because I do not want to start an argument, plus this would have never been posted. As it is I was very angry when I saw the original message about be happy and not seeing the glass half full. I was even angrier when I later found out the person typing it has had reconstructive surgery. Regardless of it she had to save and beg and borrow to get it she had it and has no right to tell people how to feel about their excess skin on their bodies.
Who is she to tell people to not make a big deal out of it when she does not have to worry the excess skin anymore? I do not have a job, the economy sucks now, money is not growing on trees around here, I am a college student, and my insurance company has denied me reconstructive surgery.
I will continue to do all that I know how to do when I am challenged in my life with obstacles and that is to fight for what I believe in. I was taught that if you do not stand for something you will fall for anything. I strongly believe that and apply that to everything I do in life.
Yes, I may be fighting an unworthy and never-ending cause (suing United Healthcare) and yes I may never win, but if I never even try then who is the bigger loser. I realize that there are a lot of weak people in life who let people push them around and take orders like a servant, but I don’t. That is how I shine.
I have a right to question authority and get answers to things that do not make sense to me. My days of letting people treat me like trash is over. It just makes me so mad when people try to tell me what or how I should feel when they are not me and do not walk in my shoes. I am not trying to have reconstructive surgery just for appearances, but I will be honest and say it is a major part of it.
I will tell you that deep down inside there is a part of me who wants to be seen as a beautiful sexy hottie without my clothes on. The problem is that I know reconstructive surgery will not do that for me ever. I have realistic expectations. I will have scars galore all over my body and will have to deal with a fair amount of pain and may even have complications.
Being seen, as a beautiful sexy hottie has to come from the inside I know, but we all want to feel desirable mentally and physically. We all have a deep need to feel desirable to someone. My main point to you all is I don’t feel desirable with 25 pounds of excess skin hanging on my body. Why is that so hard to understand?
I also have major rashes, infections, body odor, back pain, neck pain, and shoulder pain. How sexy is that? Do you really think I feel good about being this way? I am single and who wants to date someone who has so many body issues. I can never be intimate with anyone looking like this. I do not feel comfortable.
Yes, I love the weight loss and yes my health is better, but I hate my body this way and no matter what any of you say I HAVE A RIGHT TO MY FEELINGS. Please stop trying to tell people how they should feel or what they should think. We all are human beings and were put on this earth separately for a reason. We are all different.
I never try to run a person lives or tell them how they should feel. I know that by doing that I am invading their personal space and making light of their situation. Offering advice is cool, but telling someone how to feel is just not right. You all look at my pictures I post and yes you see me smiling, posing, and looking happy, but deep down inside I am an emotional mess because of how my body looks.
You all write me emails of admiration and amazement at my weightloss, but honestly I have deep hatred for my body and I feel undeserving of your letters because of this. I know that it is an unhealthy attitude to have, but I am getting counseling for it. Call me superficial I do not care. I will continue to do whatever I feel I need to do to get reconstructive surgery covered by United Healthcare.
If you think hiring an attorney is stupid or a waste of time or money I am happy for you, but your negative opinions mean nothing to me as my life is no longer filled with negative people. I just brush them off like I do telemarketers. This is my journey, my body, my life and I have to do what is right for me.
As you can tell that post on AMOS board really pissed me off. I just had to vent here so that controversy would not get started on the board plus this would have never been posted anyway. Now that I have said my peace I will say goodnight. I LOVE YOU ALL
I will not lie to you all though, the diagnosis kind of knocked me off of my feet. I have done everything that I needed to do to lose the weight and become healthy and now I have Fibromyalgia, Scoliosis, and Arthritis. The arthritis part was not a shock as it runs in my family. I was just hoping that it would skip me.
I guess my main thing is that I evidently have had it for years and it was ignored by all of my doctors because I was overweight. I am sitting here thinking of all of the times I have requested my physicians to look at my back or give me an x-ray because of back pain and I remember them all saying the pain was weight related and so on and they never wanted to give me an x-ray.
While I know some of that was true I just makes me wonder if this scoliosis could have been corrected when I was younger. I am mostly mad now because there is no cure. There are treatments though pills, shots, and physical therapy. I have been doing all of those things for a month now for Fibromyalgia and it is still hurting me. I have my good days and my bad days. I guess I am just shocked that I have these things, as I am only 27 yrs old. I am a survivor and will overcome this, but I am asking myself why me. I know it could be worse. I just want to know why after I have lost all of this weight and have become healthier do I now have all of these medical problems.
My other problem is I am still having abdominal pain and the results from the Abdomen and Pelvis CT Scan are negative and show nothing. My WLS is going to schedule laporoscopy surgery for tomorrow to be on the safe side. I am just having a lot of problems right now that I do not need in my life. I am trying to finish Spring semester and get ready for May as I have so many things to do. I am just being given a bomb everytime I turn around.
The other thing that has me so mad is that I know all of this excess skin hanging off my body pulling me forward can not be good for my Scoliolis and Arthritis, but I have no more appeals left and can not submit new information. I am screwed. I am in good spirits today, but just had to vent because if I did not I would hold this all in and blow up. I know there are people out there who are far worse shape than I am and manage to deal with things, but it is always different when it is you that has the health problems. People can try to fit in your shoes all day if they want, but unless they are you they have no idea what you are going through.
When I say the pain is debilitating and all consuming I am not overreacting. I work out still because I know my body needs it, but I am constantly in pain. The pain meds help me tremendously, but I can not help, but wonder if I am becoming addicted to the pills. I do not want to live the rest of my life on pills to pretend to make the pain go away. I want it to really be gone and never come back.
I am scared and depressed, but I am going shopping in an hour. I am going to look for capris and tee shirts and I am going to go get my nails filled and wash my dirty clothes and clean my apartment in case I end up being inpatient instead of outpatient. I want to look good while I am in the hospital. lol.
All of this stuff Scoliosis, Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, and Abdominal pain are set backs for me, but I will continue to be myself and fight through these things and go on with my life. Yesterday I was having a pity party and today I am just plain mad, but the good thing is I am alive (can't really say I have my health anymore..lol) I hope everyone has a great day and in case I am too drugged up to get online tomorrow a great weekend as well. I LOVE YOU ALL
I know my surgeon is capable of doing exploratory surgery, as he is the one who performed my WLS. My main fear is that he will find something serious that is causing my pain. I personally have too much on my plate concerning my health right now. Although some people say that at least I do not have the extra weight to deal with now that I have Scoliosis, Arthritis, and Fibromyalgia it does not make it any better. I do realize people who wrote to me stating that were just trying to make me feel better, but honestly it does not. When I had the weight I was in pain as well. Now that I am smaller I should not be in this much pain. I will never understand it.
However, I am a survivor and have never back down from a challenge, but after my latest slap in the face I just feel so tired. So stressed and overwhelmed. I will do all of the things I have set out to do in life. I will reach down deep inside my soul and find the strength to continue living as normal a life as I can with my current medical problems. I refuse to let anything or anyone get in my way. I have come too far to stop now. I know I will be fine. I know I will survive. I guess I just have a huge fear of the unknown as everyone else does.
I had to drink Magnesium Citrate tonight. That is the nastiest stuff in the world. I am also bummed a little as after tomorrow I will be back on liquids for a few weeks. I will lose a few extra pounds as a result, but it will wreck havoc on my metabolism.
I just wanted to write you all and tell you I do sincerely appreciate all of your emails and post of support and prayers. I need them. Even though I am going through my own personal battles with my health right now you are all on my mind. I hope that you all have a great weekend. I also hope that you all achieve your goals and reach for the stars and know that no goal is to high to shoot for.
You can do anything you set your mind to. I am living proof of that. You have to believe to achieve. I believe in all of you. I LOVE YOU ALL.
You can go to my surgery page and see what hospital I will be at in case it turns out to be inpatient. Take care and God Bless.
I know we all have our own little trials and tribulations to go through in life, but you must always remember that no matter how bad you think your life is right now it could always be worse.
I know that is not a very positive way to view life, but when you are mad, sad, or depressed about things that are going wrong in your life just stop and think it could always be worse.
I am sitting here wishing that I was able to work out, take a bubble bath, go dancing, you know just be active again, but I know I need to give my body time to heal. Although I know I will be better in a few weeks I still am tired of being caged up in this apartment. I want to get out and move. I want to do something exciting and spectacular. I want to go out and shake my moneymaker and get back to the old Teena again.
I talked to a lot of people in my family this weekend. I am feeling so bad because I have been complaining about my health. My health problems are minor in comparison to theirs. My health problems will not kill me, but they do make my daily living difficult. I have people in my family who are dying of Cancer and AIDS and they have it far worse than I do. They have illnesses that will ultimately kill them. However, the thing that keeps them going is the fact that they chose to live life to the fullest and never look back.
It is because of their positive outlook on life that I have decided to do the same. I have decided to be strong when all I want to do is sit and cry. I have decided to face things in my life and no longer run and hide from them. I have challenged all things that I find difficult and have decided to find a way to overcome them.
It is never easy to face adversity, but it can be done. There are days when I am so sad and full of pain that all I want to do is lay in bed and hide from the world, but I can't because that is no way to live. Instead I chose to fight for the things I believe in so that I have a purpose in life. I chose to deal with the pain head on and work through it.
You are only as weak as you think you are and if you refuse to believe that you are weak then you can accomplish all things.
Here lately I do a lot of praying. Mostly because I believe that my prayers will be answered, but also because I am afraid. Afraid of what the future holds for me and afraid that this constant pain will never go away. While dealing with my health issues Scoliosis, Fibromyalgia, and Arthritis may not seem severe to some it has affected my life in a negative way. I am going to overcome this and live the type of life that I want, but only because I believe I will overcome it. Being negative and feeling sorry for myself will not get me anywhere.
I refuse to give up on the things that mean the most to me in life. I refuse to let life pass me by. I seize every moment as if it were my last and by doing that I am grateful for everything I experience whether it is good or bad. At least I am alive to experience it and that somehow makes everything ok at the end of the day.
I guess my mine point in writing this is I see soooo many people in life in general, but also on here complaining about things, like relationships, jobs, friendships, and family life, with little action being done to change or improve things. Granted something’s can not be changed, but you will never know until you try. The worst that could happen is you could be told no. At least you have given it your all. We should never just accept what is given if it is not what we want.
Some of you will say that is selfish thinking, but seriously how many of us have taken what others have given us physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally for years and just tolerated it because we did not feel worthy of having anything better?
I see too many people fighting to hold on to someone who treats them bad because they are so afraid of being alone that they would rather suffer and not be given the respect and true love that they really deserve out of fear of the unknown. There is no reason for us to degrade ourselves this way. We deserve so much more in life. Get rid of all of those negative tapes in your heads telling you that you are not good enough, no one else will love you because of this or that, or you would be better if you were this size, or if you were just prettier maybe you would have this or that. It is not true.
It all begins and ends with you and how you feel about yourself. You have to work on you and build yourself up so no one can ever knock you down. No one can make you feel less than unless you let him or her. DON'T GIVE YOUR POWER AWAY. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I am slowly, but surely recovering from my internal hernia repair 04/18/03. I am sooo sore, but the worst part of all of this is I can not work out and it is driving me insane. To go from working out 6 days a week for two hours to nothing for four weeks is going to be the death of me and my wasted muscles.
I wanted to come online and let all of you pre or post op who live in the Dallas - Ft. Worth area know that I am available to assist you in anyway needed whether it be listening or helping you find answers to questions you may have regarding WLS, working out, and nutrition after WLS.
I am no expert or medical professional, but I am a WLS patient and love to answer questions and assist through sharing my experience. I know a lot of people are having WLS and some are all alone going through this process and with so many people in my area there is no reason for that.
I prefer to talk via phone if you are local as I have a lot of email from website, but if not comfortable with phone, email will suffice. Through helping others I am able to give back to AMOS. I wish you all a great WLS journey. I LOVE YOU ALL. Have a great day.
I have my last final today at 2:00 pm (Psychology)thank goodness. I have been studying so much I think my brain is going to explode. I went and worked out yesterday for the first time since internal hernia surgey 4-18-03 and I felt great walked/ran for 6 miles and lifted light weights for an hour. I got my endorphins going and I felt so awesome.
I took everyones advice and went and bought spandex shorts to go under my normal shorts and it worked. Thank you all for your advice. I needed it. I am all set for my personal trainer certification class May 12-16.
I am going to see my friends in Los Angeles May 17-21. It will be my first time on a plane without having to use seat belt extensions. I am sure it will be an emotional moment.My friends will be thrilled to see me as I am thrilled to see them. I have only told one of my friends about WLS so the others will be shocked as they still think I weigh 305. Didn't tell them about the surgery as they are so judgemental about stuff like that.
I am already for my trip to Cancun, Mexico May 22-29. I will take new pics of me in the pool as I did one week before WLS. I am going to do parasailing and try to jump out of a plane as these have also been things I have wanted to do, but could not because of weight.
I am all registered for Summer I and Summer II semester and this is where it all gets fun because I start my Anatomy and Physiology classes for the nursing program I will enter into next Fall. I am so excited.
I am now dating a great guy who likes me for me and he knows all about my past with weight problems and has seen the before and after and is crazy about me as I am him. I never knew dating and being active on dates could be so much fun when you are not 305 pounds. I have always had boyfriends when I was heavy, but it is a different feeling now.The best part is that he takes me out to eat all the time cause he knows how cheap of a date I am. Can't really eat much..lol. We also do a lot of outdoor stuff which is really cool for me as I love to be outdoors and active now.
The best news of all is that I am now 170 pounds (I have lost 135 pounds since WLS 6-6-02) and fitting in size large dresses and 9-10 pants sometimes 11 depending on how they are made. I bought really cute summer dresses yesterday in a size large and I cried in the dressing room because this time last year I was bursting at the seams in a size 28. THANK YOU DR. McCarty. I wish you all well on your WLS journeys. If I can do it you can do it you can too. don't give up.
Teena Adler
Lap RNY - 06/06/02 - Dr. McCarty @ BUMC
Internal Hernia Repair - 04/18/03 - Dr. McCarty @ BUMC
Pre op weight: 305 - Current- weight: 170 -135 lbs
Goal weight: 165 =5 lbs. more to lose
Denied reconstructive surgery by UHC-no more appeals left
https://www.angelfire.com/tx5/bbwnomore
http://www.PictureTrail.com/sassytexasvixen
http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=A1045796598
My weekend was very good, but my Sunday just made it the greatest. As some of you who have been following my saga know that I have been fighting tooth and nail to get UHC to approve me for reconstructive surgery procedures that I am in dire need of. I have had three appeals and an external review and they still said it was cosmetic and NOOOOOO!
I have rashes, infections, back pain, neck pain, shoulder pain, problems sitting for long periods of time, problems lifting, problems with hygiene and etc. It has all been documented by PCP, WLS surgeon, Dermatologist, Chiropractor, Physical Therapist,OB-GYN, Plastic Surgeon and yet they
still say no and that I have no medical problems that reconstructive surgery will correct.
I got open enrollment information in the mail Friday and I have been tearing it apart trying to find information about reconstructiv surgery and I found it this morning.
I am truly doing the happy dance now. I printed it and I have it in writing. I also have a meeting scheduled with my HR department about this policy stuff so that I can be assured that what I saw on the company website is true before I choose Independence BCBS.
Here is what I found in case you are wondering why I am so happy.
Loss of excessive weight may lead to redundant skin. Excision of redundant skin after weight loss in areas such as, but not limited to, the abdomen, lumbar region, arms, and/or thighs is medically necessary for intertrigo, monilial infestations, and/or panniculitis that have failed to resolve with conservative measures.
Excision of redundant skin after weight loss is medically necessary for the treatment of the following conditions:
Recurrent and persistent suprapubic intertrigo that has failed prior treatment measures
Recurrent and persistent monilial infestations that have failed prior treatment measures
Recurrent and persistent panniculitis that has failed prior treatment measures
My UHC policy had no mention of excess skin removal and this one does. Now do you know why I am doing the happy dance???
All of you people who are going through open enrollment I urge you to research your policies before you make a decision or you may end up like a UHC policy that I had that was worthless and stuck with excess skin that you will have to save have removed yourself. Have a great day. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I just got back from the gym and exhausted is not even the word to describe how I feel right now. I did 6 miles at 4.0 speed on the treadmill walking and running. I did the circuit weights for one hour and then I sat in the steam room for 15 minutes. So needless to say I was pretty funky when I got home, but it felt soooo good.
I wore my shorts with no spandex under them so I can get comfortable with my nasty skin. I am getting used to it more and more as the days go by. I do plan of having it remoevd once new insurance kicks into effect in July, but for now I am ok with myself.
Regardless of how my body looks I am ok with the person that I am. I worked to hard to get to where I am at to revert back to my shy self. I had some jerk at the gym stare at my nasty thighs, but I was cool. I went up to him and embarrased him and his friends hella good. I told him yes I have saggy baggy thighs. I use to be fat and now I am not. You are just plain ugly and no amount of exercise will cure that... What is your excuse?
It may have been rude, but I refuse to put up with mean people. If he would have only stared that would have been one thing, but him and his buddies were pointing and laughing at me (there was no one else by me)and that is where I draw the line.
I will never put up with anyone dogging me out ever in my life. There will be times when I have to chose my battles and figure out which ones are worth fighting over, but this one was worth it as I see him everyday and I had to let him know where I stood with his hella rude behavior.
Him and his buddies stopped laughing when I showed them my before pic after I told them off and walked off.I hope you had a great Sunday and will have an even better week. I LOVE YOU ALL.
Feelings of inadequacy
I wanted to talk about this topic, as this is something that I am currently struggling with. I know that people looking at me from the outside in think I have my life together and everything is all peaches with me, but that is just not so. While I am not psycho or a dysfunctional person I do have issues that I struggle with on a daily basis.
Yes, I live a good life and have not had any major tragedies happen in my life recently, but I do feel inadequate in every situation in life because of my past. I do not talk about this much as it does not control my every thought anymore, but because I chose to live my life as an open book I will be up front and honest with you all, as what I share my help someone else. I have a past with drug and alcohol abuse, sexual abuse, and abandonment issues. All of those things happened to me before I turned 18 yrs. old. I have changed my life completely around a long time ago and never looked back, as I believe what doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger. I attribute all of my successes and diligence in dealing with life’s lemons to my past and how my mother raised me. I am a survivor and am truly blessed to be on this earth.
I add it all up to all of the hard times and struggles that I have endured in my life. I am not a whiner or a complainer. I am a fighter. In some ways I feel that is good because I know that no matter what adversities come my way I can deal and struggle through it. At the same time it makes me a person who is always trying to be the best at everything she does so that no one has a reason to find fault with me. I feel like I am always under a magnifying glass and at any moment someone will find out I am not who they think I should be. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE TO YOU??
Some of you may be able to relate to that and some of you may not. I have always been the person who has to take care of others while my needs were never met. I was always the best friend who knew just the right words to say when someone was down. Now that I am smaller and have become the person I have always dreamed of being, I find myself getting selfish with my time and picky about about where I chose to focus my energy. I find myself trying so hard to improve all of the things about myself that I have hated about me for so long.
When in public situations I look around me and I feel so out of place because I have these dirty secrets that other people do not know.
I know that sounds stupid, but feelings of inadequacy rules my every thought. I know that I am healthier and look and feel so much better about myself now. However, the fact that I had to have surgery to obtain my goal and the fact that I am not naturally small makes me feel inadequate as well. I feel like people are sizing me up even though I know they are not. It is all in my head.
Even while dating my new guy I feel this way. Even though he knows my past and how I lost the weight I can not help, but feel that I am not worthy or good enough to be in his presence. He likes me and enjoys my company and does nothing to make me feel bad about myself, but I just can’t help, but feel like I am not good enough for him. Strange huh? I tell myself everyday that I am beautiful, smart, kind and thoughtful and any man should be happy to be with me, but I really still do not completely believe that because when I look at myself in the mirror I still see all 305 pounds of my old self. I take pictures often so the negative tapes can be erased in my head about my body image issues. Slowly, but surely it is working, but not as fast as I wish.
I know this has a lot to do with my past, my shame, and previous low self-esteem issues. I am working through them in therapy and it is going well. I just felt like I had to let you all know that I have these feelings even after losing the weight and I know they will not go away over night.
Even though I know I have succeeded and reached all of my goals set for myself this stinkin thinkin has still stayed with me. I work on my self-esteem issues everyday, as I know that until I love myself inside and out no one else can. I think highly of myself now (no I am not conceited), but positive self-esteem is something that has to be worked on daily.
I urge you all to work on this with a therapist or a counselor if you too find yourself having these issues. I LOVE YOU ALL. Thanks for listening.
Went to see therapist today and she says that I am on the right path because I am being open and trying to find out where those feelings of inadequacy are coming from. She did not tell me anything I did not all ready know and I pay her for this, but I love her anyways. lol.
Today was a stressful day as I had my Speech Final (Group Speech) today and will not get my grade ‘til tomorrow. I have two more finals this week and then I am done until June anyway.
I hope you all had a great Cinco de Mayo and an even better Tuesday.
Take care. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I just got home from the gym. I did 6 miles at 4.0 speed walking and running and an hour on circuit weights and I feel good.
I am stuck on a plateau, but I am not freaking as I almost fit my big booty in a size 8 the other day so I know I am losing inches.
I helped someone find out if she had insurance benefits for WLS. She was a friend of a girl that I was in school with. She is 400 pounds and is in need of WLS. I have hooked her up with several names and numbers of doctors in the area and I advised her to start coming on here and researching and attending as many seminars as possible. It feels so goo to be able to lead by example so that others can see just how good life is once the weight is off.
I hope everyone had a great day and will have an even better weekend. I LOVE YOU ALL GOD BLESS.
I had a hella good time in Los Angeles for the most part. I had a blast with my best friend Janice whom I stayed with. She treated me the same as she did when I was BBW. She is the bestest friend that anyone could ever ask for.
However, I lost a good friend while I was there as well. She has (personal) issues with me being average sized now. I would like to say that she is KOO KOO FOR COCO PUFFS after her statements that were made to me about my new look and life. She is still morbidly obese and does not understand why I felt the need to alter my appearance or my body. She said that I should have accepted my body and myself, as I was Big and Beautiful. I tried to explain that it was for health reasons (NOT BEING ABLE TO BREATH OR WALK IS MAJOR TO ME) and not for vanity, but she is part of the Big is Beautiful crowd and nothing I said made her understand. She was very hostile and angry. You all know my new motto in life is “ No Stress and No Worries” (Hakuna Mata-ta) so I cut her loose like a bad habit.
Don’t get me wrong, it hurt me deeply, but you know that I refuse to let people, places, or things get in my way of enjoying life anymore. I refuse to let anything get me down. I have worked to hard to get to where I am to let someone’s insecurities and fear ruin what I have now.
I tried to appeal to her on her level and being understanding and so on, but when a person can not even acknowledge that even though they do not approve of what you have done, but they are happy that you are happy, it is time for me to move on. She was a good friend, but with friends like that who needs enemies?
P.S.
I have a new appeal for Bilateral Mastopexy scheduled for June 4th in Plano, TX with United Healthcare and I will be appearing in person and so will my girls (Breasts). I will be taking out these bad boys for the whole panel to see. Cosmetic this UHC...lol...HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?????
I am all ready for Cancun and will meet another AMOS sister while I am there. I hope everyone is having a great week. I am praying for you all and will be back to the boards more regular starting next weekend. I LOVE YOU ALL.
06/05/03 - 4:54 pm - Hello my Handsome and Gorgeous AMOS Brothers and Sisters. I wanted to come online and share this with all of you today as tomorrow I will have test in school and will not have a chance to be online. Summer school is 9:40 am - 4:00pm so online time for me is now almost non existent.
Friday-June 6th is my one year WLS anniversary. I am truly blessed of all of the things that I have been through and have accomplished in this year.I started this journey weighing 305 size 28 and am now 170 size 9/10(depending on how clothes are made). Never did I think that WLS would work fr me. I just knew that I would be the one that WLS did not work. I should say I knew I would be the one to out eat WLS. I now work out 6 days a week for two hours( one hour treadmill and one hour weights)I now have my personal trainer certification as of May 16, 2003 and could go work in a gym and train others if I wished to at this time(don't won't to until excess skin is removed). I am also a fulltime pre-nursing college student. Those are all things that would not have been possible at my pre op weight for me.
I have gained self-esteem and self-respect, and most importantly I have learned to love myself and give back to others. I have learned to open up my heart and my mind. Many years I kept my heart and soul bottled up out of fear that people would not like me if they really got to know who I was. I was a wounded soul. I was filled with rage and did not want anyone close to me out of fear that they would sense my shame of all of the things I have endured throughout my life. Some things I was shameful about were things that were not my fault and were done to me at a young age, but some were my fault and for years the shame and hatred for myself weighed me down and made me cold.
I was at an all time high when I decided to pursue weight loss surgery 1/02. Those of you who know my story know that 1/02 I attempted suicide as I was at my all time highest weight and was filled with hatred for myself and life. God and my family was able to reach within me and change my train of thought (with the help of counseling too) and save my life. I would never wish that kind of darkness on anyone. I was so low emotionally that I saw no way out and felt that death was my only option I urge anyone who is suffering the way I did to seek help. There is no reason for you to go through that alone.
I do not take anything for granted now. I cherish every moment that I am given to live another day and to live a good life. It feels good being able to wake up and breath, feel, love,and share with my fellow peers. I no longer feel the need to hide from people anymore. I no longer have the constant pain I had before emotionally. I now realize that anything is possible for me to obtain. I expect the best and settle for nothing because I am worthy of the best. I am whole again.
Dr.McCarty is responsible for giving me this tool that I used to turn everything around for me. Without your capable hands and the wonderful WLS program at Baylor I would have been lost. You have touched my life in a way that I do not think you are aware of. I have no way to show you just how much I appreciate you, but everyday I live and breath I shout your name out to anyone who will listen to me. Thank you for a new lease on life. I hope you all know how much you mean to me and how much your help along the way has really helped me out. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I had my Mastopexy appeal (in person hearing)with UHC on Friday and as you all know the saga. I WAS DENIED and IT WAS DEEMED COSMETIC. I was not allowed to show breasts as we were in a room full of glass windows. Imagine that!!!!
I expected to get denied so this was not a let down. What I did not expect was what the doctor for UHC told me. He said that he had spoke with my plastic surgeon and he told UHC it was cosmetic and not reconstructive after he told me in the office that he would submit it as reconstructive. I was also informed that no measurements of my breasts were sent in. Why were they taken if he was not going to submit them?
I was very angry when I left the office, however anger only gets in the way of seeing things clearly. I knew deep down that UHC was never going to come through for me, but I just wanted to give it my all because I am not the kind of person that does things half way. I have a chance to file for an external review, but I debating whether to even bother since the new insurance will kick into effect July 1, 2003.
I have a plastic surgery consult scheduled with the doctor I really wanted Dr Patrick Pownell June 27, 2003. I have met Dr. Pownell when he did my friends nose job and at my local WLS support group meeting when he did a presentation so I am aware of his work and his bedside manner. He even called my friend when he went home to make sure he was ok. Most doctors do not do that. I am really excited.
Thanks to my previous experience with UHC I know exactly what my new insurance Independence Blue Cross will be looking for and I have it all. I will spend this week writing to all of my doctors so that the names of the surgeon and insurance companies can be changed on my letters and when the new insurance takes effect July 1, 2003 my information will already be in the office.
I have been working with my HR department with my old job (still have free insurance til July 2004 after being laid off 1/20/03)and they have checked the policies and it reads that excision of excess skin on the abdomen, lumbar, arms, and thighs are covered as medically neccessary when you have chronic infections and rashes, and associated back, neck, and shoulder pain (I have it all).
It could be so easy for me at this point in the game to say ok I have had it with insurance companies and just except the skin and move on with life. I refuse to give in. That is the only way to explain it. I refuse to believe that God allowed me to have this surgery that saved my life and then left me to live with 25 pounds of excess skin to make me cover up forever. Some people say that they can live without removal of the excess skin and I applaud them for it, but I am not one of them.
There are a lot worse things that could happen to me besides the skin, but I want the package deal. I want to be a complete package inside and out. I have worked on my spirituality, inner-child, and all of my hang ups about body image, but if my outside (physical)could show the world and myself how I feel on the inside look out world.
I do know that there are people that are unable to have WLS and it is for people like that that I say a special prayer everynight because I know how fortunate I am to be on the other side now. I know that there will come a time when insurance companies become proactive and find a way to see that everyone either gets the proper nutrition or behavior modification coverage or WLS coverage (whichever they choose-because WLS is not for everyone). I also pray that the day will come when doctors learn how to treat obesity effectively and the need for WLS will be no more, but until that day comes,I am grateful everyday for this tool (WLS) and this website because without it I would be lost.
I LOVE YOU ALL.
