Quotes

• "I don't like vampires. I'm going to take a stand and say they're not good." (Xander, "Welcome to the Hellmouth")
• "I laugh in the face of danger, and then I hide until it goes away." (Xander, "The Witch")
• "For I am Xander, King of the Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me!" (Xander, "The Witch")
• "We're right behind you, only further back." (Xander, "The Witch")
• "You're not like other boys at all. You are totally and completely one of the girls!" (Buffy, "The Witch")
• "Destructo Girl, that's me." (Buffy, "Teacher's Pet")
• "It's funny how the earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to." (Xander, "Teacher's Pet)
• "Those who can do. Those who can't laugh at those who do." (Xander, "Teacher's Pet")
• "Yes, she's lovely in a common, extremely well-proportioned way." (Giles, "Teacher's Pet")
• "Forgiveness is my middle name. Well, actually, it's Lavelle." (Xander, "Teacher's Pet")
• "What kind of a girly name is 'Angel' anyway?" (Xander, "Teacher's Pet")
• "Just for the record, you were right. I'm an idiot, and God bless you." (Xander, "Teacher's Pet")
• "I don't think it's bad. I think it's really...sweet. But certainly nothing I'll ever bring up again." (Willow, "Teacher's Pet")
• "It should simply be plunge and move on, plunge and..." (Giles, "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date")
• "Two points for the Slayer while the Watcher has yet to score!" (Buffy, "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date")
• "A cranky slayer is a careless slayer." (Buffy,"Never Kill a Boy on the First Date")
• "Clark Kent has a job. I just want to go on a date." (Buffy, "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date")
• "If the Apocalypse comes, beep me." (Buffy, "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date")
• "I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be a fighter pilot. Or possibly a grocer." (Giles, "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date")
• "My valentines are usually met with heartfelt restraining orders." (Xander, "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered")
• "It's time for me to act like a man. And hide." (Xander, "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered")
• "Chemistry's easy. It's alot like witchcraft, only less newt." (Willow, "Bad Girls")
• "I hate it when they drown me." (Buffy, "Bad Girls")
• "Give me time, and I may be the first wicca to do all my conjuring in pine-fresh scent." (Willow, "Bad Girls")

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