Computer Science:

     College    Spend most of your time in a dimly lit lab, playing XTrek
     and drinking Jolt.  Interact only with other CS majors, and only via
     the 'net if you can manage it.  Become passionately involved only in
     the continuing IBM/Commodore/Macintosh debate.

     Real Life  Spend most of your time in a dimly lit office, playing
     Flight Simulator and drinking gourmet coffee...at least five cups an
     hour.  Interact only with your own project team, and then only via
     e-mail.  Become passionately involved in the continuing debate over
     who pays when the schedule slips, which wasn't your fault because you
     told them to take DOOM-playing into account from the beginning.

     Psychology:


     College    Spend most of your time in a dimly-lit lab, playing with
     rats and other vermin.  Drink Jolt by the six-pack to stay up all
     night with the rodents. Interact only with other Psychos, but only to
     analyze their behavior in non-lab situations. Become involved in the
     continuing debate over whether a trained rat could succeed as a comp
     sci major.

     Real Life  Spend most of your time in an unemployment line and living
     in a cardboard box with other vermin, wishing you'd changed to CS
     instead of the rat. Continue to consider yourself superior to social
     work majors.

     Economics:

     College    Spend most of your time in a brightly-lit room full of
     charts and graphs.  Learn about supply and demand, GNP, supply and
     demand, prime rates, supply and demand, inflation, and supply and
     demand.

     Real Life  Spend most of your time in a brightly-lit government
     office with people who look just like you.  Issue reports you wrote in
     college because you're too lazy to write a new one.  Watch newscaster
     explain your report to unsuspecting viewers.  Listen to President explain
     that the economy sucks because of unemployed psychologists.

     Philosophy:

     College    Read books by dead guys.  Debate whether a tree
     falling alone in a forest will say, "Oh, f*ck! Not again!"  Consider the
     ethical problems in the killing of annoying street mimes.  Get failed by
     prof for not liking correct dead guy.

     Real Life  Spend most of your time in a dimly lit office, playing
     Flight Simulator and drinking gourmet coffee...at least five cups an
     hour.  Interact only with your own project team, and then only via
     e-mail.  Become passionately involved in the continuing debate over
     who pays when the schedule slips, which wasn't your fault because you
     told them to take DOOM-playing into account from the beginning. Be
     thankful you switched to comp sci, which pays better than being a dead
     philosopher.

     Math:

     College    Spend your time in a cramped office, thinking about
     polydimensional shapes and arguing their properties with other
     mathematicians.  Scream when they steal your work.  Steal their work.
     Be a social outcast.

     Real Life  See above.  You work for the university.