"Ma'am?" the waitress stood, pen in hand, rather impatiently tapping her foot.
"Yes?" Rose looked up, her head in a daze.
"Your order please?"
"Oh! I'm sorry, I'll just have a glass of water. Thank-you." The waitress tried to hide her annoyance and took off to place the order.
"Is that all you're getting?" Sweetheart couldn't imagine anyone surviving on that for dinner. She was absolutely famished and had ordered the largest dish on the menu. Of course, eating for two usually did that to a person.
"Yeah, and you've been so quiet all night. What's up?" Teddy knew if there was really something wrong Rose was most likely not going to talk about it. That seemed to be a fairly pronounced family trait.
"Oh, I'm just not feeling all that well tonight. I think I'll just call it a night. I'm sorry you guys."
"No, that's okay Rose. Are you sure you're okay? Do you need a ride home?" Sweetheart asked.
"No, I'll be fine. I'll see you guys tomorrow for lunch, ok?" Rose got up and left the restaurant. She just didn't feel like socializing.
Rose closed the door to her room and layed down on her bed. She'd been feeling very depressed the past few weeks, she just couldn't figure out why. She should be happy about her old friend Pearl's marriage to her high school sweetie Matt, but it really only made her feel worse. And it didn't help that her invitation seemed to have gotten lost in the mail, or that her ex Pometto was going to be a major part of the festivities. She didn't care she hadn't been invited, but hearing about all the planning for it and that Pom was going to be playing at it from her other friend Cal made things even worse.
Rose never really liked Pearl, she didn't think Pearl liked her either. There was just too much history involved there. First, when Pearl had moved to her high school she had stolen Rose's best friend. She lived right across the street from Ava and quickly sucked up all her attention, leaving Rose out to fend for herself. Then when she and Pom had started dating she noticed that he and Pearl had become very good friends, best friends according to Pom. He spent alot of time hanging out with Pearl instead of her, she tried her best not to be jealous and give him some space but it still bothered her. They had countless arguments on the subject, but Pom always assured Rose that she was the one he loved and Pearl was just a good friend. It soon became apparent that he was telling the truth when Pearl became engaged to Matt. But she still hated that he spent time with her when he could be spending it with Rose.
Her thoughts dwelled on Pom and the relationship that had gone to shambles two years before. They had been together all through high school, everyone thought they were going to be the first to get married after they graduated and live happily ever after. It seemed a match made in heaven, but apparently it just wasn't meant to be. He was the only person she'd ever been in love with, and the only one she had dated for more than two weeks. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes and fought to keep them from coming. Rose was very good at controlling her emotions and was soon back in control. The reason for her depression became apparent, damn that stupid boy!
Pom had no idea how much he'd hurt Rose and how much it had all affected her. They had parted well, promising to still be good friends. He'd moved away after graduation to another town to be close to his mother, and to finish high school since he was a few credits short to graduate with the others. She never got the chance to really talk to him about it. Sure, he'd asked how she felt and tried to explain everything when he first told her, but that just wasn't enough. It was all still too new for her to know what to say at the time. Rose had pretended to blow it off like it was nothing and managed to survive the rest of the school year without anyone questioning her acceptance of the cold hard fact he'd hit her with.
It was amazing how fast word had spread through the school, people she didn't even know came up to Rose to ask her about it. Most approached her cautiously, seemingly afraid to hurt her feelings or upset her, but consumed by enough of their own curiousity to risk it.
Rose realized she had alot of bent-up feelings she needed to get out about all this. She didn't have any good enough friends to talk to about it, so she decided to get it out on paper. Perhaps gather her thoughts into a letter she could someday send to Pom to let him know how she really felt. She could never confront him in person about it. She could never talk to anyone face to face about it either, despite how she tried. Not that anyone she was friends with cared enough to listen. She'd started getting up the nerve to talk about it a couple times but the person she was with never just let her talk and get it out. They always started talking about themselves or someone else. Either they really never noticed what Rose was trying to do, or they genuinely didn't give a damn and would rather change the subject then listen.
Rose pulled out a piece of paper and started her letter to Pom, if only for herself to hold on to.
