Jokes

as u can see, my sense of humor is slightly twisted at times.

Blonde Jokes

• Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? ~~~ A: Look! Donut seeds!
• Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling? ~~~ A; a blond electrician!
• Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?~~~ A: they can't keep their calves together.
• Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ? ~~~ A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.
• Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree? ~~~A: Wave
• Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill? ~~~A: Because it kept falling out.
• Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants? ~~~ A: Pick them up off the floor.
• Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? ~~~ A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck
• Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? ~~~ A: A blonde going through a flashing red light. (This is soooo April-like)

band jokes

• How many trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?~~~ Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could've done it.
• How do trumpet players traditionally greet eachother?~~~Hi, I'm better than you.
• What do trumpet players use for birth control? ~~~ Their personalities.
• 4 trumpet players are in a mini van. The mini van goes off a cliff. What's the tragedy in this? ~~~ You can fit 8 trumpet players in a mini van.
• How do you save a trombonist from drowning? ~~~ Take your foot off their head
• How many trombonists does it take to change a lightbulb? ~~~ 5: 1 to change it, and 4 to make ludicrous sexual comments.
• Q: Why did Adolph Sax invent the saxophone? ~~~ A: He hated mankind but couldnīt build a atom-bomb.
• What's the difference between a saxophonist and a lawnmower? ~~~ A lawnmower cuts grass; a sax player smokes it

Mommy Mommy Jokes

• son: Mommy, Mommy! Suzi got run over by a steamroller. mom: Shut up and get the maple syrup.
• son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire! mom: Hurry up and get the marshmallows!
• son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy running away? mom: Shut up, and help me reload the shotgun!
• son: Mommy, Mommy, Why am I running around in circles? mom: Shutup, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.
• son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox? mom: Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy
• son: Mommy, mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to swim? mom: Shut up and get back in the sack!
• mom: Come upstairs, son, like a good boy. son: No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again.
• son: Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff? mom: Shut up son, you'll wake your father
• son: Mummy, Mummy, Sally won't come skipping with me. mom: Don't be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps bleed.
• son: Mommy, Mommy! Why do they call me spastic at school? mom: Shut up and take your legs out your pockets.