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A letter from the Easter Bunny |
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CEO of Easter Bunny Inc. |
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This is the Easter bunny. I have a few announcements to make. |
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This year Easter is not going to be the same. Due to a few problems I may not be able to deliver eggs. This will mark the first year that egg deliveries have been cancelled, even during World War Two, I was able to deliver, but unfortunately I am facing some big challenges this year. |
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First the Easter chickens are on strike ( did you think that a rabbit really laid eggs? ) The chickens are demanding a 12 percent increase in salaries, and better benefits. Well, Easter Bunny Inc. is just barely operating above margin as it is. I have made an offer of a 6 percent raise with another 4 percent phased in over the next 2 years, but the Union bosses told the rank and file that was not good enough, and the offer was rejected in eleventh hour negotiations. The egg business was good, before they formed a union ( Intl Brotherhood of Chickens) . The request for company paid dental insurance was rejected due to the fact that chickens do not have teeth. Even though it was irrelevant to them, it was included in principle. |
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The second problem facing us this year is the rising fuel costs. As you are aware, the oil companies in their greed have raised prices on fuel approx. thirty percent in the past two weeks. Analysts are forecasting fuel prices to have increased a total of sixty to one hundred percent by the time we accept deliveries of our eggs from our suppliers. This has raised the cost of distributing the eggs to our delivery staff in the field to a prohibitively high cost. The oil companies need to be held accountable for their actions in forcing us to cancel deliveries this year. |
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The lack of supplies has resulted in Easter Bunny Inc. announcing the layoff of ninety percent of our work force. We are forced to close our warehousing and distribution center and our egg dipping center. |
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The only thing keeping the company afloat is the royalties from the greeting cards and merchandising. ( You did not think that the Easter Bunny wasn't copyrighted?) |
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In closing, I would like to say thanks to the oil companies, and the greed of the union bosses for killing Easter Deliveries this year. It makes me sad to think about the millions of children who will be waiting, baskets in hand, to find eggs that do not exist. |
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With Regards, |
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Peter J. Rabbit CEO Easter Bunnie Inc. |
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Back to Easter |
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© 2002 Rob's World ® |
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