Chapter 41

Three weeks had passed, and the whole group was back out on tour.  It was something they were all trying desperately to get through.  The days were long, and the bus rides were torturous, especially on the kids.  There was little room to actually play on the buses, and Nick found that Katie would always want to be with Kirstie.

“Daddy, why can’t I go wit Kirstie?  Pwease?!” she screamed at the top of her lungs.  Nick looked exasperated.

“Katie honey, Uncle Howie and Auntie Kat want to spend time with their little girl.  You can’t always be with her.  I want you to stay on this bus tonight, okay?” Nick said, trying not to get angry.

Katie threw her little arms up in the air and started to scream.  “I hate you!!!  I wanna be with Kirstie!!” she cried, running to her bunk.

Nick hesitated in going after her.  She was so much like her mother.  Katie would get frustrated, for all the RIGHT reasons, and then get angry.  The next thing you knew…it was a screaming fest and then complete silence for the rest of the night.  Katie was having a hard time understanding that Kirstie had parents.

Nick sat on the bench near the front of the bus, listening to his little girl cry herself to sleep.  He hated feeling so alone.  He felt horrible for not being the parent he truly wanted to be to his little girl.  And, to make matters worse…he had to do it without Heather.  He sat back, just staring out the window as the bus drove down the highway to the next city.  These were the agonizing hours of the night that he couldn’t sleep.

“God, I miss you baby.  I really, really miss you.” He sighed as a tear streamed down his face.

He finally decided he needed to talk to someone.  It couldn’t be one of the guys, they had problems of their own, and didn’t need to hear about his.  So, he picked up his cell phone, and dialed a number.  As he waited patiently for the call to go through, he thought back on how his life had changed so much in just three years.

“Hello?” a voice answered.

“It’s me, Nick.  I need to talk…do you have time?” he asked softly.

“Of course!  I was worried about you…I hadn’t heard from you or Katie in weeks.  What is going on?” Liz replied happily.

“It’s just that Katie is dealing with some issues right now, and I don’t know how to help her.” Nick said, wiping a tear from his cheek.

“Oh sweetheart, what’s going on?” Liz asked cautiously.

“Well, Howie and Kat adopted a little girl named Kirstie, and she and Katie have been inseparable.  When I tell Katie she needs to stay on the bus with me, and give time for Howie, Kat and Kirstie, she cries and yells at me.  Liz…she is only two and a half.  How do you tell a two and a half year old that she can’t play with her friend?” Nick asked, his voice tired and sad.

“Kathryn is a smart child Nick.  She showed that from the start.  You just need to sit and explain to her that they are a family, and that you two are a family.  She will understand.” Liz offered.

“She needs a mother, Liz.  She sees Kirstie with Kat and doesn’t understand.  You know, she cried herself to sleep tonight…mumbling mommy.” Nick choked out.  “It broke my heart.”

Liz listened to Nick, and totally understood the position he was in.  It was difficult to raise a little girl, as a single father.  “Nick, have faith that everything will work out.  When are you guys done with the tour?”

“In about a month.  Then we will have some down time.  We aren’t sure what we are gonna do next.  I think we are meeting at the end of the week to discuss a new album.” He said softly.

“What do you mean you don’t know what is happening?  Hasn’t your record label talked about the album yet?” she inquired.

“Yeah…they have, but it’s not them Liz, it’s us.  We don’t know what we want.  I mean, we are all starting families and stuff.  Touring makes that really hard.” Nick confessed.

Liz knew what he meant.  In the time she traveled with the Boys, everything was backwards, upside down, and crazy.  You didn’t have time for fun, you didn’t have time to rest, and you had little to no privacy.   And, if ANYTHING happened to one of the members, it became the business of everyone on the tour, including the poor kid that had to clean up their dirty clothes in the dressing room.  It was nearly impossible to raise a child or be with the one you loved without completely breaking down.

“Nick, when are you gonna be in my area?” Liz asked.

“Umm, we will be up in New York City next week.  We will be on TRL to talk about the tour and to retire our video.  Why?”

“I want you to come by and see me.  Take a little while, and come by the theatre.  I am usually there all day, working on my routines and hanging out with the crew.” Liz said. “Please tell me you will come.”

Nick thought about it.  He really missed Liz, and he knew that Katie would love to see her too.  “Sure, I will be there right after we get out of MTV.  You are only down the block, so, I will see you at about 5:15 next Monday.” Nick said, saying goodbye and hanging up.

Somehow, he felt better, but wasn’t sure why.  He hadn’t gotten any real answers from Liz.  It’s just that something clicked inside of him, making him feel more confident of what he had to do.
 

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