Chapter 38

“So this is it?” Nick said as he hugged Liz.

“No, this is not it.  I am not forgetting you or leaving you stranded Nick.” Liz said.

“No, but you won’t be around anymore.” Nick sighed.

“Yes, I know, but we will have phone calls, and I can come to visit when I am able.  One of my old girlfriends said that Starlight Express was going to open at the end of summer on Broadway.  I know the roles, I know the show.  So, I am going to try for that.” Liz said hopeful.

“You will get it, and you will become a Tony Award winning actress on Broadway.  And me and Katie will be there to see it all.” Nick said with a smile.

“So, see, this is NOT it.” Liz said.

“Nope, it’s only goodbye until we meet again.” Nick said as he hugged Liz tightly.  ‘I am really gonna miss you babe.  You take good care of yourself, and remember, you have all my numbers.  You call for anything…and I do mean that…anything.  All of us will be there in a heartbeat if you need us.  And remember Elizabeth…I love you.” He said as he kissed her softly.

“I love you too Nick.  Take care you two.” She said as she hugged Katie and kissed her on the cheek.  “Take good care of your daddy…he is a very special man.” She said and then kissed Nick goodbye.

“Flight 1122 to New York City is now accepting passengers with First Class tickets.” The announcer said over the intercom.

“Bye Nicky…bye Katie.   I will call you when I get settled.  I love you both…” she said with tears in her eyes as she walked down the ramp to the plane.

“Bye Liz!  We love you!” they both shouted as she boarded the plane.   They sat there watching, until the plane pulled back from the gate, and made it’s way to the runway.  Nick placed his hands on the window and watched as the plane raced down the runway and lifted off into the air.   “Goodbye Liz…”

*** *** ***

“Do you think Nick is gonna be okay?” Kat asked Howie.

“I sure hope so.  I don’t know if he can take anymore disappointments in his life.  Damn, he is stronger than I could ever be.” Howie answered, looking into Kat’s eyes.  “I don’t know what I would do without you, sweetheart.”

Kat and Howie went to get ready.  They had their final meeting with the adoption agency today.   All the paperwork had gone through, however, the agency just needed one final interview, to make sure that Howie and Kat were fit to adopt Kirstie.

*** *** ***

“Leighanne, do you want to tell them yet?  It’s getting harder to hide you know.” Brian laughed as he helped her pick out something to wear.

“I think you are right honey.  How about tonight?  We can invite them over to dinner…order a few pizzas or something, and tell them.  No big celebration or anything, just a nice evening with friends.” She offered.

“Sounds wonderful.  Let me call the guys and ask them if they are free.” Brian said, running to the living room to make the calls.

*** *** ***

“Come on Katie, we have one more place to go before we can go home.” Nick said softly.

“Daddie?  We go get some ice cweam?” Katie asked.  She loved ice cream, and whenever Nick had been sad, he and Katie would get ice cream.  “Daddie, why you sad?”

“Katie honey, because I miss your mommy so much.” He said, trying to hide the tears in his eyes from his daughter.

Katie just looked at her father.  There she was, only 2 years old…and could understand him.  She was so much like him, but had the spirit and tenacity of her mother.  “Where we going Daddie?”

“We are going to visit mommy.” Nick said as he scooped his daughter up.  Within minutes, they were driving to that little hill next to the beach.  He hadn’t been there in a long time.  It was a long overdue visit, but he knew that from that day forward, that he would be okay.

As he approached the stone marker that had her name so beautifully engraved on it, he could feel the familiar warm air rush around him.

“Heather, I know that I haven’t been here in a really long time.  I was so scared to come here.  I feel like I have betrayed you, and broken every promise I ever made.” Nick said as he sat down in the grass next to her grave.

“Remember when I promised that I would love you and cherish you forever?  Well, I lied.  I found that I loved another woman.” He said, and then paused.  “No, I THOUGHT I loved another woman, but in the end…we both realized that I just couldn’t let go of you.”

He sat there, waiting for a voice that he knew would never come.  “And now, I am so scared.  I couldn’t keep my promise that I would move on.  I told you I would be all right, but Heather, listen to me.  I am not all right.   I am alone, I am scared, and I feel like I am losing you.  You said you would be watching over me…but, for some reason, I can’t feel you.  I am so afraid of losing you completely.” He said, a tear trickling down his cheek.

“I never told you everything.  I wasn’t able grow old with you.  There was a song I loved so much, but never had the opportunity to sing it to you.  And, now, it’s too late.” He said as he stood up.

Once again, he felt the rush of warm air.  At that moment, he knew that she was listening.  “Baby, I want you to hear this…this is how I feel and always will.”

Nick stood up, and picked up Katie.  “Come on Katie, we are going to sing to your mommy…” he said as held her.

And with that…in the voice of an angel, he sang the words that he never got to sing to her….

We are born, one fine day
Children of God, on our way
Mama smiles, daddy cries
Miracle, before their eyes
They protect us til we’re of age
Through it all, love remains

Boy moves on, takes a bride
She stands faithful, by his side
Tears and sweat, they build a home
Raise a family, of their own
They share joy, they share pain
Through it all, love remains

Kingdoms come and go they don’t last
Before you know the future is the past
In spite of what’s been lost
What’s been gained, we are
Living proof that love remains

I don’t know, baby what I’d do
On this earth, without you
We all live, we all die
We don’t know, the reasons why
In the end, nothing’s changed
Life goes on, love remains

In the end, it stays the same
Live goes on and love remains
 

Once he finished, he walked away slowly, knowing that she had heard him.  “I love you Heather…and I am never going to forget…”
 

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