Dream of:05 July 1987 (2) "A Defect"
I was living in a communal setting with some other people; I was concerned some of the people with whom I was living had AIDS. A similar type of community was next door, and the people in that community were likewise concerned about the possibility of people in my community having AIDS. A meeting was going to be held next door to discuss the subject; I walked over to join in.
Probably 15-20 people were in the room into which I walked; they were discussing the matter. I listened for a while and finally began talking with one fellow. My voice was quite hoarse; it was almost as if I had been sick and was having a hard time making myself clear.
The fellow with whom I was talking said he didn't want to live next door to people with AIDS because there wouldn't be enough parking spaces. I said, "So there's not going to be enough parking spaces, huh?"
Then he said he would also be bothered by the type of people who would be coming around to visit and pick up the people next door with AIDS. I responded, "So there's going to be a lowering in the quality of people in the community."
I looked him right in the eye and said, "You know all this doesn't really matter. The truth of the matter is that you're just scared shitless that you're going to catch it."
He looked startled by my bluntness and shifted in his seat; but he quickly admitted that his fear was indeed the basis of his concern.
I began talking with him about the possible transmission of AIDS by mosquitoes. He looked surprised, as if he hadn't even considered that possibility. The possibility seemed to shake him up.
All the while I had been talking, I figured they thought I had AIDS since I lived next door. Finally I simply stated, "I do not have AIDS."
I told them that I myself had recently been voicing the same concerns as they were about living around people who had AIDS. I was uncertain what the solution was, but I agreed with them that something would have to be done about the people who had AIDS who were living here.
I talked to one fellow; I thought his mother knew my mother. He had AIDS. I was unsure his mother knew yet. It was rather shocking to learn just how many people did have AIDS these days.
While I was talking, Louise was standing in the room in the background. I noticed her leave and I followed her out. I watched her board a fairly new white Cadillac and drive off. I walked a short ways down the street and she pulled up beside me. She was now in an older model white Cadillac, a model which had large fins on it. It was in excellent condition.
I walked over close to her and we began talking. The discussion turned to some money which she seemed to think I owed her. She said something about my owing her $300 in mortgage payments, apparently having accumulated at the rate of $50 a month. I was surprised to hear that she wasn't worried about it and she wasn't planning to collect it.
She was dressed in white and seemed quite friendly. We walked along a ways together. At one point, she fell behind me, and I felt her rub her crotch up against my butt and hunch me once. I quickly pulled away from her. I almost felt like taking her into my arms, but I refrained. I still felt close to her.
I asked her how she was doing. She said she was doing just fine. She praised her husband and began describing how muscular he was. I asked, "If he's so great, why are you humping on me?"
She answered, "He has a defect."
She was reticent about exactly what the defect was, but she told me he had had an operation. I finally concluded he couldn't control his bladder so that he must always wear a diaper; he sometimes urinated in his pants. She admitted that that was the case; she seemed somewhat bothered by the fact.
I asked, "Did you know about this before you got married?"
She answered, "No."
I asked, "Would it have made a difference if you would have known?"
She answered, "I don't know."
It appeared to me that she nevertheless intended to stay with him and that she felt settled down and established with him.
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