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Dream of: 03 March 1987 "Rag Doll"

I was at the Gay Street House, where I was staying while I attended some classes at the college in Portsmouth, Ohio. It was morning and I had a class I was going to go to soon.

I heard a knock at the back door, opened it and saw a man standing there whom I immediately recognized as Ankron (an old schoolmate from high school). I hadn't seen him in many years and was surprised I even remembered his name. He asked me if he could come in, told me he was tired and wondered if he could rest there in the House for about an hour. I told him he could and lI ed him to the bedroom upstairs which I had been using. I showed him my large double bed and told him he could lie down on it. I had some of my possessions in the room but I thought Ankron could probably be trusted not to steal anything.

After he lay down on the bed, I stayed and talked to him for a few minutes. I asked him if he were still in college he told me he was. It was hard to believe he was still going to college at his age and after all these years. I told him I had already graduated and in fact had even graduated from law school. I told him I had gone to three different law schools. I said I had gone for one month (and then changed it to three months), to a law school in Puerto Rico. Then I told him I had gone to Baylor Law School.

Finally I left him alone in the room and walked downstairs where I saw my father. I told him that Ankron was upstairs in the bedroom. I was concerned my father might not want a stranger in the House, but he didn't object.

I intended to go to class; but then realizing my class wouldn't begin for another hour or so, I walked back up the stairs and into the bedroom and sat down at the foot of the bed where Ankron couldn't see me. But I could still see him. I realized he had pulled down his pants so that his penis was exposed. In one hand he was holding some kind of small rag doll and was rubbing his limp penis with it. All the while he was talking to himself. I was utterly appalled by what I saw. It seemed to me to be extremely perverse and it was obvious that Ankron must have some serious problems.

Finally he stopped and I stood up where he could see me. I told him I had seen and heard everything. He seemed embarrassed but not particularly ashamed. I told him he was going to have to leave immediately and he got out of the bed. I escorted him back down the stairs and out the back door. Just as I was about to shut the door, he turned, looked at me longingly and said he would like to kiss me. That confirmed my latent suspicion that he was homosexual. I was immediately disgusted, told him that was out of the question and shut the door.

I was certainly glad to be rid of him. It bothered me to think that anyone, my father, for instance, might have seen me with him and concluded by association that I was like him.

I began thinking more and more about going to school and finally decided I wasn't going to go. Instead I felt like I needed to begin practicing some law again. I knew there was one state west of Ohio where it was necessary to speak French to practice law and I decided I was going to go there. I informed my father of my decision and without wasting time got into a car and drove off.

I headed north and was planning to pick up an Interstate Highway 35 headed west. I pulled out a map and saw that 35 went through Chillicothe and thought that was where I would turn west. But it suddenly occurred to me that I couldn't exactly remember the name of the state where I was going. I looked at the map and thought it was somewhere around the area of Missouri or Tennessee. But I couldn't find it. I knew it wasn't Louisiana although Louisiana had a history of laws originating in France.

I just kept driving trying to figure it out. Plus I began thinking about my financial situation. I was running out of funds although I still had a master card which I could use to obtain money with. If necessary I could even go to a bank and actually borrow cash with the card. But as I thought of using the card I seemed to see myself heading in my car perpendicular down a road and was afraid I might crash at the bottom.

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