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Dream of: 07 February 1987 "Mental Institution"

I had gone to work for an institution for the mentally ill. I was working in a large dormitory-like building and wasn't completely sure of my duties, but the job seemed to involve taking care of about a half dozen mentally-ill patients, mostly, if not all, women. As part of the arrangement I was also living in the building in a small room.

I was lying nude under the covers in my bed in the room and thinking about the situation there. It vaguely seemed as if one of female patients I was supposed to be taking care of had been subtly implying she wanted to have sex with me. I was considering the possibility but I hadn't yet reached a decision.

I then remembered my sister (probably in her early 20s) was in the room. She was sitting asleep in a hard-back chair with some white sheets wrapped around her. I also realized I had had an erection although it was beginning to subside. I debated whether I should pull the covers from me and stand up nude in front of my sister. The idea seemed extremely erotic yet at the same time it seemed I had been doing some thinking about sexual relations between my sister and me and had decided they weren't healthy.

Nevertheless, the urge was too strong and I pulled the covers from me revealing my completely nude body and my half-erect penis. I could feel the erotic pleasure in my body as the thought of being nude in front of my sister enveloped me. I stood from the bed. My sister was still asleep and I urinated in what appeared to be a sink in the room. I then turned back around to look at her.

She had long brown hair. I thought she was also nude under the sheets. I stood next to her with my partially erect penis level with her head. I debated whether to awaken her, but I couldn't seem to bring myself to do it. Suddenly however I saw her eyelids move and realized she had awakened herself.

She opened and closed her eyes several times as if coming to herself. Finally, it was clear she saw me standing nude in front of her. However, I didn't intend to go any further than just stand here; thus I was surprised when she looked at my face, and then without further ado turned her face to my penis, leaned toward me and stuck it into her mouth. I hadn't been expecting this action, and I thought a drop of urine might have even been on the tip of my penis and it should have been first washed off.

Her mouth opened wide and she pulled my penis deeper into it. The pleasurable feeling was overwhelming and I pushed my penis as deep into her mouth as I could. I looked straight down and watched as her lips moved closer and closer toward the base of my penis. My mind seemed flooded with sexual images; especially the thought of having intercourse with her besieged me. I could practically see us lying nude together on the bed preparing to have sex.

But the thought occurred to me that we would need some kind of protection in case of disease. Even though she was my sister, there was always the chance either she or I might have some venereal disease we could transmit to the other. I didn't have a condom with me and I wondered if she might have one. Even if I didn't have a condom, I might take a chance and have sex with my sister anyway. But doing so would be risky. She might have been having sex with my brother-in-law James and it was hard to tell who he had been with.

After my penis had been in her mouth a very short time, (probably not more than a few seconds) I extracted it. Still nude I walked out of my room and through the halls. I thought patients were permitted to walk around nude in the halls. I was unsure if I was allowed to go nude, but seeing no reason why not, I proceeded along. Besides, walking around nude felt good.

Sometime later, after having dressed, I went to a meeting of the staff of the institute. I was seated at a large rectangular table with probably 20 other people who also worked at the institute and had patients here. We apparently had gathered to discuss the status of the patients. Most were probably in their late 20s and 30s. Men were sitting on one side of the table and women on the other.

One bearded fellow led the discussion. In front of him lay a pile of papers which contained the comments of various counselors concerning their patients. The discussion began and I listened with interest. A couple other men, including the man leading the discussion, were also lawyers. They even mentioned some court actions for the patients and something about getting help from some authority which might not be altogether proper.

A couple men had very long hair, but seemed to naturally fit in with the group. As the discussion continued I began to realize that the counselors were discussing very real problems of some of their patients and that they were indeed interested in helping them. Obviously the counselors, like I, were being paid for their work, but they seemed to be genuinely interested.

I had to admit that up to now I had basically just been functioning without really caring much about what I had been doing, but I began to realize I very much liked this kind of work and I felt I could do something worthwhile. I remembered my brother-in-law James worked at a mental hospital in Portsmouth, but his job was merely a kind of supervisor or guard. He didn't actually counsel the patients as I was supposed to do in my job. I suddenly valued my job very much and decided I was right where I needed to be.

However, it suddenly occurred to me that in the previous week I might not have been behaving in a completely proper fashion. I couldn't remember exactly what I had been doing, but it seemed to have had something to do with nudity or sex or something like that involving one of my female patients. It was beginning to appear that such conduct with a patient wouldn't be allowed and that I could possibly lose my job because of it.

The man leading the discussion came to the end of the stack of papers without calling my name. It seemed I was going to escape any chastisement. I had the feeling that since I was new at my job it was to be realized that I would need a short while to break in. Apparently they weren't completely dissatisfied with my conduct up to the this point and I was going to be allowed to remain.

The leader of the group then turned to a black fellow sitting on my right. The leader said there was going to be some kind of "love march" in April and wanted to know if the black fellow would lead it. Apparently the black fellow had been doing exemplary work at the institute and therefore and been chosen to lead the march. The black fellow seemed touched by the offer. He seemed like a very nice fellow.

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