Dream of: 31 October 1986 "Hagar"

I was in what seemed to be a foreign country from which I needed to escape. A girl (who seemed at times to be about 10 years old and at other times to be in her 30s) was with me. Without my first being aware of it, she dressed me up like a female. She then put a piece of colored yarn around my head like a head band. She put another piece around my right wrist and held onto a piece of yarn going from my wrist.

We began walking together toward a building which she intended to enter. I knew people were in the building and I objected to being taken in that one. Plus my female disguise was incomplete; I was still wearing some articles of clothing which identified me as a man, including some heavy work shoes. However the girl told me not to worry because we actually wanted that I should be identified. She had some kind of clever plan worked out which I didn't completely understand, but apparently there was a report of two people like us trying to escape the country, which seemed increasingly like Nazi Germany. If we were spotted and mistaken for the two other people who were trying to escape the girl seemed to think it would help us.

We entered the building and came into what appeared to be a lounge area of a hotel. A number of men were around and no one seemed concerned by our presence. I began to become optimistic and I walked ahead a few feet by myself. Suddenly out of a room burst a group of perhaps 20 black men. I was startled and I turned to look at the girl. She was eerily standing back by the door holding the piece of yarn in her hand. She had broken loose from me and from the crooked smile on her face I could read immediately that she had tricked me and she was making a sacrifice of me.

The black men quickly gathered around me. I made a vain attempt to escape. I thought they thought I was a female and planned to rape me. I saw only one solution show them I was a male. I began trying to explain that fact to them and for vivid proof I reached down and pulled out my penis, which was very small maybe the size of a 6-year-old's. I thought about urinating on one of the men to emphasize my penis.

To my chagrin, however, the sight of my penis only seemed to incite them more. Too late I realized they were more interested in having a male than a female. They threw me on the ground and one of them pulled out a small penis like I had done and began urinating on me. I must have passed out for I awoke lying on the floor in a stall in a public restroom.

I could see lying on the floor of the stall next to mine a black boy (about 15 years old). The doors to the stalls were closed and some of the black men were standing outside the stalls talking. I immediately realized what had happened: instead of me, the black boy had been raped by the black men. The men were gloating about how after about the sixth time the boy had passed out. After that, every time he was raped, an electric prod was used on him. Apparently the black men would insert their penis in the boy's rectum. When the electric prod was applied to the black boy, the men would receive a pleasurable jolt and immediately climax. The men outside said sometimes it would be over in an instant.

The boy appeared to be conscious, although he was lying with his face on the ground. His eyes were open although glazed. I felt that he was somehow a part of me. It was as if before the rape had taken place he had split off from me and had had to endure something I was incapable of going through.

The black men finally left. On my hands and knees I crawled outside the stall. I noticed a third stall on the other side of the one where the black boy was. It didn't have a door and I could see someone sitting in it. I poked my head around the corner fearing the worst. To my utter amazement I saw a comrade sitting there. He was a man who looked like Harrison Ford, but I thought his name was "Hagar." He was wearing a dark dull-green cloak pulled up over his head. He seemed almost magical and possessed of strength. I remembered he was supposed to have rendezvoused with us and I was beside myself to see he had actually made it.

I excitedly got the black boy out of the neighboring stall. The boy was naked. He held onto me like a baby wrapping his arms and legs about me and burying his head in my shoulder. Our comrade knew what had happened, but he didn't seem upset. He assuaged us both with calm words. I was immediately reassured and I began to realize that all would pass and we would live to another day. He began communicating to us how we would escape.

I next found myself on the back porch of a house which reminded me of the Gallia County Farmhouse. I had managed to escape and time had passed since my ordeal. Some men were gathered around me who were part of my family. They somewhat reminded me of the Cartwrights from the television series "Bonanza."

Five other men were also present standing on the sidewalk. I realized they were the men who had been ultimately responsible for what had happened before, but they didn't know that we knew who they were. One of my relatives, who seemed to be the father of my group, told one of the five other men that he was looking for five houses to buy somewhere in the country.

I began quietly talking with one of my other relatives. We knew what the houses were to be used for. They planned to capture the five men, strip them and then torture them one in each house. It seemed appropriate to me.

I sensed a melody in my mind and I began composing a little song,

"If you're from the city side,

And not from the country side,

I'll tell you of the sunny side

I'll tell you of the country side of life."

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