Dream of: 29 October 1986 "Retarded Girl"

I was driving a car and had pulled up behind another car stopped at a yield sign and ready to merge onto a main street. I was headed toward a location only a couple more blocks away which I could see in front of me and I was trying to decide whether to turn right or left at the next intersection. I thought if I turned left I would have to travel down several more blocks because the street was one way. However if I turned right, the street wouldn't take me exactly to where I wanted to go and I might become turned around on the streets. I had been to where I was going before and I tried to remember exactly how I had gotten there.

It occurred to me that the car in front of me was taking a long time in moving ahead. I noticed some kind of sign to my right concerning handicapped people. Suddenly, the vehicle in front of me lurched forward: it wasn't a car at allórather it was a small bicycle being ridden by a young girl.

A car was stopped on the street directly in front of the girl. Unexpectedly the driver's door on the car suddenly flew open in the girl's path. The girl, however, had plenty of time to see the door and she stopped her bicycle before reaching it. Nevertheless when the girl stopped her bike she let it fall over to the ground and ran precipitously into the street.

I had a good look at the girl and could tell from the mongoloid shape of her head and her large bulging eyes that she was obviously retarded. She was about 6 years old and had blonde hair. I thought perhaps the handicapped sign was for the benefit of people like her who were going to some kind of facility nearby. Then again, perhaps the person who had thrown open the car door was handicapped.

At any rate it was obvious that the girl had been thrown into a state of utter confusion and needed help before she was hurt. I left my car and ran after her. I hollered to the people in the car, "You'd better help me. You scared the hell out of her when you opened that door."

The girl ran to a grassy area and sat down as she looked around her with wild eyes. I thought I was going to be able to catch her without problem. I softly said almost as if talking to an animal, "Come on baby. Come on."

However when I approached she suddenly jumped up and ran farther away. I kept up the pursuit; but I was also wondering if I should even be chasing her. I was unsure if I should actually try to apprehend her.

She stopped again and I tried to think of some ploy. I thought I might try to tempt her by suggesting I had some plaything to give her which she was likely to have in her school. When I was fairly close I made a motion as if I had something and said, "Do you like to play with blocks? Come on. I'll get some for you."

I crept closer; but when I was almost upon her she dashed away again. I ran after her and was so close I could almost touch her. She seemed to be wearing some kind of soft sweater. I was running very fast but thought if I would just run a little faster I would be able to catch her. But I didn't and wondered whether my failure to speed up more was from lack of strength or from lack of will.

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