Dream of: 08 August 1986 "Death and Dying"
While
alone in the upstairs of the Gay Street House (a stately, two-story,
Victorian house on the southeast corner of Gay and Eighth Streets in
Portsmouth, into which my family moved in 1965, and where my father continued
to live after he and my mother divorced in 1970), I
had the feeling that something rather frightening was in the House, although I
did not know what it was. As I walked around the House, I could sense something
there. I walked to the attic door, and from the bottom of the stairs, I looked
up into the attic, and thought that whatever was in the House was up there. I
could see a beige-colored rug which looked like a sheepskin hanging in the
attic. I did not know what the rug was doing there, but I thought it had
something to do with what was going on. I concluded that a ghost might be in
the House, but then I thought, "I don't believe in ghosts."
Then I thought, "Yes I
do believe in ghosts."
I had actually
been thinking about the subject of ghosts for a long time and had begun
to believe that ghosts did exist in the world. It amazed me that a ghost might
now be trying to manifest itself to me. I walked downstairs to the kitchen and
walked outside.
While I was outside, the
back door to the House opened. I walked over to the open door and looked
inside. I could see the door to the stairs to the second floor, but from where
I stood, I could not actually see the stairs. However, I could hear someone
walking down the stairs one step at a time. I did not know who it was, nor did
I know if anyone was actually going to come through
the stair door—maybe some kind of force was simply coming down the stairs.
Finally, a foot stepped through the door—I thought the foot belonged to my
father and I was relieved.
Suddenly, however, my
brother Adolph (1954-1962) appeared in the doorway and looked right at me. He was
around 7 years old. I realized he was a ghost. Dressed in a neat, little outfit,
he was smoking a cigarette. He motioned for me to follow him as he walked into
the front living room, but I was too afraid, and I simply could not do it.
I was petrified and I
could not even talk. As I edged backward, my father pulled into the parking lot
in a car. I motioned for him to come over to me. When he did so, he and I
walked into the kitchen. We looked into the living
room expecting to see Adolph. Instead, Kay (my father's second ex-wife) was
standing there.
She was dressed in clothes
similar in color to the clothes Adolph had been wearing. I was utterly amazed.
I pointed at Kay and said, "He's trying to tell me something about you,
about death and dying."
Kay had a rather evil look
in her eye, but she really did not know what was going on either. I thought I
also saw Jamie (Kay's son) in the background watching things.
I told my father I had
seen Adolph just as clearly as I now saw my father standing there in front of
me.
I thought Adolph had been
trying to give us a sign. I did not know what he was trying to say, but I
feared Kay might be intending to hurt or kill someone. Since I did not want to
stay in the House, I walked back outside.
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