Dream of: 31 July 1986 "Far from Spectacular"

Bonnie and I were lying together on some cloth in a field. It seemed when I kissed her that I was kissing some artificial, cloth flowers. Nearby I saw some real flowers and thought perhaps we could go lie in them, but the real flowers were wild flowers and shrubby-looking.

We began having sex. She began telling me that earlier that day she had thought there might be a possibility that she had caught a venereal disease. She had needed to take a test to find out. Before she could take the test, she needed to have a sexual climax.

She had met a black fellow and she had had him masturbate her. That really surprised and disgusted me. I thought I should probably immediately stop having sex with her; but I could not seem to stop. I thought our relationship was probably coming to an end and even if I had sex with her, I probably would not be able to continue staying with her. I continued having sex with her without saying anything.

I became twisted around so that she was lying on her back, and I was lying face down on top of her—but my face was at her feet. My penis was still in her vagina, and I realized I was close to climaxing. I felt like stopping but Bonnie, realizing how close I was, said, "Oh, I'll help you."

She began moving and I climaxed. It felt good but was far from spectacular. I knew we would probably break up soon; that knowledge took away the pleasure.