Dream of: 23 March 1986 "Abnormality"

I was in Portsmouth. I was planning to go somewhere to law school but I was undecided exactly where I would go. I was considering studying either in Germany or California. I called some people in Germany to see if I could enter law school there and was told I could; I would simply need to go to Germany and begin. But for some reason I decided not to go to Germany and to go to Colorado instead.

That evening as I was having supper with my family, (my father was sitting at one end of the table and I was sitting at the other end) the subject of my returning to law school arose and my father asked me where I was going to go. I knew he didn't approve of my going back to law school. I was quite defensive about the topic and told him I was going to go to Colorado.

He asked me why I hadn't told him sooner. I explained that I had simply not known how to tell him. He said he and my sister might come to visit me. He liked to travel and in fact he was thinking of taking a trip to Utah in the near future.

Finally, I left the table. I began thinking some more and realized I might need to go to Germany after all because I wouldn't be able to simply transfer to an American school as easily as to a German school.

I began walking around on the streets trying to decide what to do. I met some people who apparently were going to take a trip into Kentucky to visit either Carter Caves or some kind of amusement park there. They were boarding buses and I climbed on one of the buses with them. Most people had tickets. Although I didn't have a ticket, I took a seat anyway. Phil Lane was on the bus.

The bus was actually more like the bed of a truck. There were no walls and no top. The seats were merely sitting on the bed and were arranged in rows with four seats in each row.

In front of my seat was a horizontal metal bar. I crossed my arms, placed them on the bar and then laid my head on my arms. A man who was seating people walked up to me and told me I would have to get off the bus if I was sleeping. But I wasn't sleeping and I remained in my seat.

However, I decided to get off the bus anyway. When I stepped off I was close to Front Street in Portsmouth near the U.S. Grant Bridge which crosses the Ohio River from Portsmouth to Kentucky.

A woman walked up, spoke to me and told me I had AIDS. I replied, "I don't have AIDS."

She told me the bus I had been on was an AIDS bus and that everyone on it had had AIDS. I told her I had been on the bus but that I certainly didn't have AIDS. I thought for a moment, decided I might be able to make some money from the woman's ignorance and said, "You wouldn't like to place a bet on that would you."

She said she would. She spoke about how much money we would bet and said it would be from $90-$100. We then agreed to bet $100. I told her I could take a test and if the test showed I didn't have AIDS, she would pay me $100 and if the test showed that I did have AIDS, I would pay her $100. I thought it would be a certain bet for me since I was positive I didn't have AIDS. She agreed. I didn't actually have $100 in my pocket. But I wanted to be sure she had the cash.

She then brought some people up who were carrying two trays. On one tray were three samples of some kind of bodily fluid which they had obtained from me. Some other type of fluid was on the second tray. A man who appeared to be a pharmacologist began putting some drops of some kind of liquid in my samples.

Another man walked up and stuck his finger in one of my samples. Then he touched his finger to his mouth. I said, "Oh now you've got AIDS! You've got my AIDS!"

I was merely kidding him and trying to scare him. He became quite alarmed, but I knew there was no possibility of his having AIDS.

I meanwhile had bought a milkshake which I was holding in my hand.

The pharmacologist continued with his tests. He had spread my samples out on a platter and said he was now going to spray some kind of mist on the sample. He said if the sample turned orange it meant I had AIDS. He sprayed the mist on the sample and suddenly the sample turned a bright orange. It stayed orange for about a second and then faded away.

Everyone who had been near me stepped away. The pharmacologist looked at me and said, "You've got it."

I stood in utter disbelief and in a state of intense confusion. I reflected that I hadn't had any homosexual relationships of any kind. I thought the test must be wrong because I couldn't possibly have it. Nevertheless I was very alarmed.

The people around me moved farther away and I thought, "Well they can't just catch it by standing next to me. Why are they backing off so like that?"

I didn't know what to think. One fellow had a camera and was apparently going to take my picture. I feared he was going to have it published in a newspaper and I turned my head away. I certainly didn't need to have my picture published in a newspaper at that point.

I thought I needed to talk to a doctor immediately to try to determine what to do. But no one seemed to want to approach me. I began walking away.

A fellow (probably in his mid 30s) stepped up to my side and began walking with me. He was bald on top of his head but had short, kinky, dark-brown hair on the sides. He was slender and about my height. He spoke to me and was very friendly. I thought perhaps he had AIDS. But he didn't appear to have it. He said, "Well you certainly have my sympathy."

I asked, "Do you have AIDS?"

"No," he replied.

I said, "I certainly appreciate your not running away from me. I don't understand. I've never had any kind of homosexual relationship."

But that didn't seem to me to be entirely correct. It seemed that about 15 years ago I had had one brief, irrelevant homosexual encounter with someone.

The fellow asked, "Can you tell me why you're in 'rest and abnormality'?"

I thought he was referring to the bus I had been on which I thought had been for people who had been abnormal or who needed rest.

I replied, "Because I was going to go to Germany and study law"

I began trying to formulate in my mind the reasons why I was going to Germany.

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