The subtlety of the question of predestination pierces to the heart of the reality of the sin which Oedipus is purported to have perpetrated to the point that it would appear that Oedipus could not have been guilty of any sin whatsoever if his destiny had already been predetermined by God itself, as indeed it was said to have been, by the oracle of Apollo.

Dream of: 08 May 1985 "Odes"

My brother Chris (who, while alive from 1957-1974, was crippled with muscular dystrophy) and I were in the back seat of a car being driven by Louise (from whom I divorced in April 1985 after being married less than a year). My mother was sitting in the front seat with Louise. Louise was headed for a bar and finally pulled into a parking lot. When she stopped, I stepped from the car and Louise asked me if I were going to go in the bar with them. I said, "No, I'm just going to leave."

I had about five books with me, one of which had its cover torn off, but appeared to be the Latin text of Horace's Odes.

I was about to go somewhere else when I realized I had left my billfold with all my money lying in the car. I needed the billfold. As Louise backed up the car and started to pull away, I hollered out to her that I needed my billfold. Even though she heard me and she knew I needed my billfold, she started to drive off anyway. As she drove past me, I threw my books at her. Although her window was rolled down, I was unsure any of the books had hit her.

She wheeled the car around and ran right through the side of a building behind us which looked like a barn. I knew something might be in the building which she would hit; suddenly I heard a big crash inside. Silence followed and I heard Louise moan. Then I heard her say, "Oh my back. I've thrown my back out."

In my mind I imagined the vertebrae in Louise's back being displaced. I thought she might never be able to walk again. I ran into the barn and opened up the front door on the passenger side. Louise was still sitting behind the steering wheel and she appeared to be in pain. Although my crippled brother Chris was lying in the back seat, I was unconcerned about him because I knew he couldn't walk anyway. Since he was still alive, I figured he apparently wasn't badly injured.

My mother was lying on the floorboard of the front seat. I had to pull the seat and bend it down as I tried to get her out. I was unsure, but it appeared she was probably dead. She was wearing a black and white dress and she seemed very small.

Louise continued to complain, but I didn't have time to get to her. I needed to tend to my mother first.

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