Dream of:10 May 1984 "Memory Loss"
I was in a house with Birdie, whom I hadn't seen in ages. She and I walked into the bedroom together. On the wall over the bed were severalcollages which I had made. The two collages in the middle were older collages, but the two on the ends were new. I pointed out the collages to Birdie, trying to show her how complicated they had become.
On one collage was a scene with several people standing around talking. The pictures seemed to have been taken from the Renaissance age. It wasn't obvious the collage had been made from many different pictures; it appeared to be one large picture.
On the second new collage, a man appeared to be holding up a little girl. A clear picture of a woman was also on the collage. The more I looked at the picture of the little girl, the more she also resembled a woman, and in fact, she closely resembled the picture of the other woman on the collage. The girl was being carried away by a man riding a horse. The man held the girl by the arms and she dangled over the side of the horse. I pointed it all out to Birdie.
As we walked around the house, we encountered other people. As I spoke to the other people, they began talking about parts of my past which I couldn't remember. I began to realize I had lost my memory of quite a few things which had happened in my life. As well as I could judge, I couldn't remember approximately seven years of my life. One thing they brought up was the fact I had committed some crimes of breaking into some houses.
I didn't know what to do. Although I could look through the window and see Louise walking around outside the house, I couldn't communicate with Louise and I could only communicate with the people inside the house. It made me sad because I wanted to talk with Louise. I worried she wouldn't understand what was happening inside the house. It seemed my lack of memory was preventing me from contacting Louise. I was also concerned Louise would know Birdie was in the house and draw the wrong conclusion from that.
A girl named Charlotte showed up. Charlotte had been my girlfriend 7 years earlier. After I began talking with Charlotte, I realized she was still living in the past, because she thought the date was 7 years earlier. She had somehow blocked out the intervening 7 years.
Charlotte and I walked outside. She tried to hold my hand but I wouldn't let her because I thought we might encounter Louise. And although I felt close to Charlotte, I didn't feel physically close to her. I just felt as if she were a friend who needed someone with whom to talk.
We encountered Louise's friend, Joel Lynn (a former law student). I was afraid Joel Lynn might see Charlotte and me together, draw the wrong conclusion and say something to Louise about it.
After Charlotte and I walked on, we finally sat down together. A couple other girls were nearby. I turned to Charlotte and said, "Charlotte, what year is it?"
She replied, "1976."
I said, "Charlotte, it's not 1976. It's 1983."
She looked at me as if she couldn't believe it. I said, "You and I have a similar problem. You still think it's 1976, but I can't remember things that have happened to me. I know the right year, but I can't remember things that have happened to me in the intervening years. But it is 1983."
I turned to the two girls near us and asked, "What year is it?"
One answered, "1983."
I looked at the other and said, "What year?"
She responded, "1983."
I could see Louise nearby, apparently sitting at a piano. I could see her, but I couldn't talk to her. There was some gap between us which saddened me. When Louise turned and looked at me, I turned to Charlotte, pointed to Louise and said, "You see that girl there? I love her. I love her more than anything in the world. She doesn't know how much I love her."
I didn't want to hurt Charlotte by what I said, but I thought she ought to know the truth. Louise looked at me and smiled. I was almost ready to cry because I couldn't reach Louise and talk to her. Louise's face contorted because she felt sorry for me. I felt Louise loved me and she wasn't drawing the wrong conclusions about my being there with Charlotte.
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