Dream of: 29 January 1984 (2) "Ending The Suffering"

I had arrived in New York City and was driving around in my 1973 Ford Mercury Comet looking at the streets and the city. I thought about staying here a couple months and looking for work. Maybe I would work for a law firm here; would I be able to find employment? What would the people back in the Law Office in Waco think if I began working for a large New York law firm?

I tried to remember whether I had ever been in New York City before. I knew I had dreamed before I lived in New York City, but I couldn't recall whether I had ever actually lived here.

As I drove, I noticed a Ford automobile dealership on the side of the road. I thought I should note where the place was in case I needed to have my car repaired later.

I continued following the street I was on until I came to a dead end. I turned around and returned to the main highway. I saw a landmark in the distance and knew I was lodging near the landmark.

Suddenly I remembered I was actually planning to move to Paris. I began trying to decide whether I should go on to Paris or remain in New York; but I realized I had already made my decision and wanted to live in Paris. The idea of learning the names of the streets of Paris and making it my permanent home was extremely satisfying. New York would just be a temporary stay. Nevertheless, I thought perhaps I should visit some New York law offices which had branches in Paris. Perhaps I could work in an American branch office in Paris.

I thought about how I had left Louise; I was in an ecstatic state thinking I had finally broken away from her. I knew I had made the right decision by leaving her. Leaving Louise, however, wasn't what pleased me. I hadn't wanted to leave her and would have preferred for her to have remained with me. But I knew I needed to leave Texas and go out into the world where I belonged. And Louise had been unable to tear herself away from Texas.

I seemed to be experiencing a type of awakening about Louise. I had suffered much, but the suffering was over.

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