Dream of: 22 October 1983 "Killing The Fish"

I was at the House in Patriot, Ohio (the home of my maternal grandparents when I was a child). I intended to begin classes at Southwestern High School about eight kilometers from Patriot. I had never received a high school diploma and felt I needed a diploma to continue in the world. The idea was a bit ridiculous because it didn't really make any difference whether a person had a high school diploma. What was important was what the person knew. Having a diploma wouldn't really help me, but I wanted to obtain it nevertheless.

I thought I would like to take a class in calculus and I wondered if Southwestern had calculus classes.

I debated what to wear. I had on some dress slacks and a nice shirt, but I decided I wanted to wear blue jeans and my red-checkered, cowboy-type shirt.

I went upstairs to change. While I was there, I thought perhaps my maternal grandmother Leacy had some catalogs. I wanted to find them and look in the women's lingerie section. I saw three books stacked on a book shelf. They had some kind of covering on them so I couldn't tell at first if they were catalogs, but when I opened them, I saw they were.

I began leafing through all three, but couldn't find a clothing section in any. Most pictures were of tools. Finally I pulled the cover off one and saw they were Montgomery Ward's catalogs dealing solely with tools and hardware. I began wondering whether Montgomery Ward had stopped making clothes.

I put the catalogs down and went back downstairs. I walked outside still thinking about going to the school. I wondered what the people with whom I had gone to the fourth and fifth grade when I had lived in Gallia County would think when they saw me returning. Perhaps the people with whom I had gone to school wouldn't even be there anymore and I would be older than the children who were there now.

I then realized I was 30 years old and would definitely be much older than most of the other children. I began thinking of the young high school girls and how they would be much too young for me. Nevertheless I wanted to return to school. I walked outside of the village and on till I could see Patriot behind me in the distance. I headed for the college at Rio Grande, Ohio.

On the way, I came to a small creek in a wooded area, sat down and looked at it. I saw a long-haired fellow walking nearby who seemed to be in a daze. Two other fellows were also walking nearby. One was carrying a large ironing board. The three met about three meters from me. The first fellow had a smoking pipe in his hand with marijuana in it. He passed it to the other two fellows and they passed it around. He looked over at me and asked if I wanted any. I said, "No, I don't mind if I take a toke."

After he walked over and handed me the pipe, I took a hit. As the smoke came out of my mouth, I saw some smoke curling up from the bowl and thought I would sniff it also. I finally passed the pipe to the fellow next to me and said, "I think it's out."

They passed it around again. The first fellow handed it past me to the fellow on my right instead of to me, even though I wanted it. Then the fellow on my right handed it back to me and I took another hit, but I didn't feel anything. I held the pipe in my hand a little while as some ashes fell out. About five other fellows gathered around. They all had long wet hair. My hair was also wet because I had taken a shower before I had left the house.

I saw that Rio Grande College was just on the other side of the creek. I asked the fellows if they went to school there. They said they hadn't, and that they had gone to Baylor. I didn't say anything about where I had gone to school or that I had gone to Baylor. I began thinking I had actually gone to Baylor Law School, and not Baylor University.

The fellow with the ironing board and his friend said they were only visiting there for a while to explore the area. I pointed to Patriot and said I lived over there. I told them the name of the street I lived on and said that my grandparents' name was "Halley."

The fellow with the ironing board pulled out a pencil and began writing in large letters all the information on the ironing board. They thanked me and everyone left.

As I stood beside the creek, a dog walked up. Apparently the dog belonged to me. It began wading around in the creek, which was about 10 meters wide and shallow. I began wondering if any fish were in the creek. I saw something making a wave under the water and I kept looking to discern if any fish were in the water. At one point I thought I did see a fish. I began thinking I was mentally creating the wave myself.

I heard a radio playing in the background. On the radio someone said that someone had put into the creek some stuff which was killing the fish. I remembered then the first fellow I had met had had a little can of something. I wondered if he had put the stuff in the creek upstream somewhere. He had been a rather disgusting fellow. How terrible it would have been to have killed the fish that way.

I walked along the creek and saw how the university apparently abutted the other side. I could see part of the university through the trees. Someone had put some old chairs on the other side of the creek by some trees. It looked as if a couple trees had been burned. It looked as if people sometimes had parties by the creek. It was wet and looked as if it had been raining.

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