Dream of: 14 August 1983 "Hurtful Letters"

At one o'clock in the morning I went to the apartment complex in Waco where Louise was living to wait for her to return home. Since she was supposed to have been home earlier and she hadn't come in, I wanted to know exactly where she had been.

I parked in the parking lot 30-40 meters from her apartment. Although I hadn't expected her immediately, I suddenly saw her car pull up in front of her apartment. I began running toward her and hollered, "Louise, Louise, Louise."

She apparently couldn't hear me and continued walking toward her apartment. I continued hollering trying to attract her attention.

I could see she had apparently dyed her hair; I was amazed and disturbed to see her hair was now a frosted white color. She also looked as if she had gained weight.

I continued running and hollering and when I was about three meters away, she finally turned around, looked at me and smiled. I ran up to her, grabbed her by the throat and demanded, "Where have you been?"

I could tell she was upset. I asked, "Is it another man?"

She was holding a letter in her hand; I could tell the letter was from another man. She could see how serious I was as I grabbed it from her. I pulled back my arm as if I were going to strike her, although I didn't actually intend to hit her. When she began trying to retrieve the letter, however, I hit her several times to fend her off. I asked, "How long has this been going on?"

She told me it had been going on for four months. Her admission startled me. I had had no idea she had been seeing someone else for so long.

She pleaded with me not to open the envelope, but I refused to return it to her. She said, "Don't read it. It's only hurtful. It's a new beginning for me and an ending for us."

I began screaming at her; I called her a "whore" and a "tramp" over and over.

I was determined to open the envelope. I ripped it open; inside were about a dozen letters which were written on different colored stationary. There were white, pink and other colored letters. A small valentine card fell to the ground. I held on to Louise and half dragged, half carried her toward my car. I planned to read the letters there and discover what had happened.

Louise continued pleading with me not to read it. I asked her why and she wouldn't tell me. She acted as if the other man was someone I knew.

After we had gone about twenty meters toward my car, I looked back and saw Louise's mother, Vivian, had come out of the apartment and was rapidly approaching us. I thought, "Oh great. Here comes her mother."

Vivian was obviously going to help Louise try to recover the letter. I let Louise go and proceeded on. Vivian circled some cars. I thought I could pull out a pocket knife I had in my pocket and scare Vivian away. Although I had no intention of using the knife, I looked at Louise and said, "I'm going to kill you for this."

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