Dream of: 21 August 1982 "Going To Die"

My brother Chris, my sister and I were in a car which my sister was driving, headed to the House in New Boston. My sister said something and used the word "did" in an improper way. I asked her if she knew when to used "did" and when to use "done." I was thinking about "done" being a participle, and "did" being the past tense. My sister replied that she had learned once the proper usage, but now she couldn't remember. She said she thought it had something to do with circles and squares, just as she steered the car around a corner. I told her the proper usage had nothing to do with circles and squares, that the usage revolved around the word "have." I explained that with the words "have" and "has," the word "done was used, and that if there were no helping verb, the word "did" was used.

We drove on and finally arrived at the House on the Hill. Only now, other houses were also built around the House, and it wasn't even in an isolated section of the woods. There was now a complete subdivision.

As we pulled into the House, about 12 men and women carrying luggage were standing there. When we stopped, I began talking with them. They were waiting for someone, and I thought, "Well, I'll just invite them into my father's house and they can wait there."

I stepped out of the car and walked up to the door of the House. Before going in, I turned around, looked at all the other houses, and commented how everything had been changed since the last time I had been there. I told the others that the last time I was there, none of the other houses were there, only trees.

I could still see the markings of the hill, but it looked so different with all the houses there. I turned back to the House and told the others that the House also had been destroyed and damaged and burnt, and now had been replaced.

The House was still burnt at one spot next to one of the window sills. I noticed some wasps or flies hovering next to that spot. Referring to the flies, someone said it looked as if new inhabitants had moved in. I didn't pay much attention to the flies and I walked on into the house. Chris (about 14 years old) had been trying to walk, but was having a difficult time; so I picked him up and put him on my back. He was very heavy. I carried him around on my back for a while.

I walked into the kitchen and then into the living room. Brownish-red carpet was on the floor and everything looked quite nice. Nice furniture was in the living room. I invited everyone in and told them to make themselves at home. I set Chris down on a couch at first, but then moved him onto a large table. I sat down at the table while the other people sat down around the room.

A short, spry, thin man who hadn't originally been with the other people then walked into the room. He was only about five eight or five nine. He had black hair. He began introducing himself to everyone and asking everyone's names. He walked over to the table where I was and asked my sister her name. She gave him her name.

He asked me my name and gave him my full name.

He then told us what his name was. He looked at Chris, who was sitting on the table. It was evident that Chris had muscular dystrophy and was in fairly bad shape. The man looked at my sister, and referring to Chris, asked, "Well, how many more Christmases does he plan on being around?"

My sister didn't know how to respond. She said, "Well, we haven't really planned it yet, but it probably won't be very long."

He of course was referring to the fact that Chris wouldn't live long. I was so affected by what he said, I felt like crying. I could feel my face swelling up. I knew the man was looking at me and I didn't want to cry in front of him. I turned away to my left, ready to burst out crying. I knew Chris was going to die soon, and I didn't want him to die.

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