Dream of: 14 April 1982 (2) "Church Bathroom"

the purpose of life

may only be revealed to

those with focused minds

I awoke and stepped out of bed in a house where my mother lived in Portsmouth, Ohio. My mother slept in a bed in a room on the right side of the house while I was in a room on the left side. I was naked and I didn't want to put my clothes on, because I wanted my mother to see me naked. I looked at myself in a mirror; I had a partial erection which quickly faded.

A living room and bathroom separated my mother's room from mine. I walked from my room into the living room, leaving the door open. I walked in front of the bathroom where my mother was. I knew my being naked in front of her was unusual, but I thought it was time to do so. My mother, with a blue towel wrapped around her torso, walked out of the bathroom. The towel only came to the top of her pubic region. At first I couldn't believe my eyes, but I looked again; her pubic region was clearly visible.

She walked toward me and angrily said I shouldn't be standing there like that, but I remained standing, relishing her intently staring at my penis, becoming more excited. She told me I should put on some clothes. I answered, "Well, mom, there's nothing wrong with this. If you think there's something wrong with it, there's something wrong with you."

I walked back to my room.

My sister had to be at school at Portsmouth High School at 8 o'clock every morning. Since we lived so far from the school, my sister had to leave by 7:30. I was uncertain whether she was still in the house or had already left. I myself was attending law school and I also had to be in class by 8 o'clock, but I didn't have to leave as early as my sister.

I put on my brown suit, walked back to the bathroom, and as I began urinating, I realized I was in a church. The bathroom in which I was standing was right in the middle of two separate sections of the church. On one side - where the living room had been - were pews with people sitting in them. On the other side of the bathroom was the chapel. I heard someone say something about some singers who were in the chapel. About nine young men were getting ready to sing.

Since the bathroom door was half open, I was afraid someone might be able to see me urinating. I stooped and zipped up my pants. I then opened the bathroom door the rest of the way so that when the singing began in the chapel, the people in the pews on the other side of the bathroom would be able to hear the singing better. When the singing began I stood to the side and listened.

I then walked out the back door of the church and outside I found some cinder blocks which I had stacked up. Some piles of fire wood lay atop the cinder blocks. My father drove up in a car and I got in the car with him. He said I had done a good job of stacking the wood, although he originally hadn't wanted me to stack it that way. We then both got out of the car and walked over to the wood. To my surprise, he began tearing down the stacks of wood and tossing the wood around.

Some hay was behind the wood stacks, partially piled under a shed and in front of some stairs which led back up to the house. I thought to myself that the hay could be used to get a fire started in the fireplace.

Some small children had gathered between the wood piles and the hay. When my father began pushing over the wood, some of it fell on the children; I could see that some of the children were injured. I ran to them and began pushing some of the wood away and trying to reach the injured children. I screamed, "Get out of the way! I've got to get in here and help them!"

Apparently, the children had come there to help my father work that day. I said to them, "Everyone go home. You don't need to help."

My father became angry and said, "No. No. You can't send them home."

I went to him and said, "Oh yes I can. And I'm leaving too."

As I stormed off, I realized the entire incident hadn't happened, but that I had just imagined it. I couldn't afford to have a fight with him. I still needed him to help me go through law school and pay my tuition for the following quarter.

I walked over to the shed and sat down in the hay, some of which wasn't covered by the shed. I stood and watched some water dripping through the roof. Some water fell into a rock which had a basin in it. Being thirsty, I cupped my hands together and dipped them into the water. As I did so I noticed I was wearing a dark brown leather jacket.

I began thinking that in a previous life I had actually been Adolph Hitler. I thought to myself that my present life was pretty good. No one would suspect that the Adolph Hitler was living in the body of Steven Collier. One wouldn't expect Adolph Hitler to be in my position. One would have expected Adolph Hitler to have suffered some terrible fate.

Dream Commentary of December 29, 2014

Self-delusion seems to be a common trait to all religions, and so it is with the Dream Journal. Specifically, some members of the Dream Journal might delude themselves into thinking that in their dreams they have discovered some form of irrefutable evidence of life after death. Such so-called proof is most definitely refutable. Proof of life after death - in whatever form - remains lacking, just as it has throughout human history. Man's destiny is to live without this proof. We travel through life uncertain of what will be our fate when our bodies die.

Yet to believe that life after death does not exist is to believe that life is meaningless.

Reincarnation is an example of this dilemma. We are given no scientific proof of reincarnation in our dreams. Those who assert that reincarnation is a certainty live in delusion. Yet only a fool would deny the possibility of reincarnation.

Doubt the certainty - but believe in the possibility - of reincarnation.

Trust in life after death!

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