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Dream of: 28 November 1981 "Confused Thinking"

Mike Walls was visiting me at the Gay Street House and we were sitting upstairs talking. We talked for quite a while until about 10:30 at night, when Walls suggested we go to New Boston and drink some beer. At first I wanted to say I had quit drinking, but then I simply said I hadn't drunk any alcohol for a month. He said, "Well, lets go then."

It sounded like a terrific idea, so I said, "OK. First I have to change my clothes."

I walked into the bathroom. Earlier I had been wearing a pair of light blue pants, but now I was wearing a pair of blue jeans with my brown belt. I had on black shoes, but decided I was going to put on my brown boots, which were sitting in the bathroom by the commode. I also had a special cowboy shirt, which had a flap stretching around the front like a bib, and which buttoned onto one of the shoulders. It also had some fringe on it. I thought I would wear that.

I returned to the front room where I found Walls talking on the phone with Steve Buckner. Walls wanted Buckner to go with us. I hollered out, "Yea, come on Buckner, go."

Walls talked with Buckner a while longer, but Buckner decided not to go. It was around the 23rd of December, and apparently Buckner was going to go to church to Christmas services the next morning.

I continued dressing, putting on a pair of brown socks. I told Walls I wanted to hurry, because I wanted to leave before my father returned, because I had a car of his which I was afraid he might not want me to use.

Finally we left, headed toward New Boston. Another person in the car with me and Walls seemed a little like Walls and a little like Buckner. I was driving the car, Walls was sitting in the back seat, and the other person was sitting in the front with me. We stopped somewhere and Walls went into a store and got some beer. When Walls returned to the car, he took a beer and handed me one. I felt bad about drinking the beer. I took a drink and held it in my mouth. Walls was also trying to force the other person to drink some of the beer. Walls handed the other person the beer, but the other person said he didn't want it and refused to take it. Walls said he would like for him to take it, and said he would really like for him to drink a beer with him, but the other person still refused.

Meanwhile, I was feeling so bad about the beer in my mouth, I finally rolled down the window and spat it out. I felt better. I handed my beer back to Walls and told him I wasn't going to drink any either. Walls didn't say anything to me, but he turned to the other person and said, "Look, I would really like for you to drink a beer with me."

I said to Walls, "He doesn't want to. Don't try to force him. Why do you try to force him if he doesn't want to?"

Walls replied, "It doesn't make any difference to me whether he drinks or not."

I said, "If it doesn't make any difference, why do you act that way trying to make him drink it?"

When Walls couldn't come up with an answer, I said, "I think your thinking is really confused. And I think the main reason for your thinking being so confused is alcohol."

Although I didn't say it, I also thought other drugs were playing a part in Walls's confused thinking. Walls replied that nothing was wrong with his thinking and that it was just fine.

I drove past the bar in New Boston and drove around it. I saw a car pull up with Porginski (an attractive blonde who had been a year younger than I at high school in Portsmough) and her husband Newton in it. Newton was driving and Porginski was smoking a cigarette. We waved at them and they waved at us. Then they turned their heads and drove on.

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