Dream of: 15 April 1980 "It's A Mistake"

I was in the living room of the Gallia County Farmhouse. A number of people (most seemed to be people with whom I worked at the Census Bureau in Chillicothe) were sitting about in different chairs and on the floor. The only person who interested me was Manring, my supervisor at work. She was radiantly pretty and had a vitality about her which made her seem younger than normal. Although she could have easily been in her early 20s, she still seemed quite mature. Her hair was a bit darker and longer than normal.

We didn't speak and she seemed too pretty to touch, too wholesome, too unapproachable. Somehow she was suddenly lying beside me on the couch. I knew other people were around watching us, and I knew Manring was married, but I couldn't resist. Everything about her excited me. I kissed her clumsily and awkwardly. Her mouth seemed small and she didn't seem to want to commit herself.

I kissed her again. I was lying on top of her by now. But I realized we had to separate because everyone was watching. I told her to go into the next room, shut the door and go upstairs, and that I would be up in about five minutes. After she left, I remained seated for a couple minutes, feeling many people stare at me. I then rose and headed for the door.

Suddenly, however, I couldn't go any farther. Something had grabbed me by the foot. I looked down and was surprised to see my father lying on the floor, holding my foot with one hand. We spoke harshly to each other and he said, "Don't go. It's a mistake. You'll only hurt yourself."

I kicked loose and retorted, "You're a fine one to be telling me about mistakes."

He had held me up for too long and Manring returned to the room. Even though I thought she now wasn't going to go upstairs with me, I went into the next room anyway, sat down and waited. I was sure the affair was ended, but suddenly the door opened. Manring glided in and went upstairs. I immediately followed. Manring had forgotten to shut the door behind her, so everyone saw me follow.

I found her in the bedroom. It was about 4:30 p.m. and Manring had to leave by 5 p.m. She had already taken off her dress and she stood in front of me in a long white slip which fell to her ankles. Although I knew she was married and thoughts of her husband suddenly appearing tormented me, I couldn't take my eyes from her. The youthfulness of her bearing combined with her wise and knowing demeanor attracted me most. It was an irresistible mixture. She lay down on the bed's white sheets, creating, with her white slip, a picture of purity.

I had my pants off in a flash. I started to take off my tee shirt and somehow it became tangled in a light fixture hanging from the ceiling. I was quite nervous. I left my shorts on and climbed into bed. She put her arms around me as I lay pressed between her legs. We kissed and I felt myself becoming inflamed.

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