Man, I was all sorts o' excited when I got that invitation from that prissy Ventrue chick who'd showed up at my meetin' 'bout the Tremere. She was havin' a party and wanted me to come! See, I'd been talkin' to Zane and Reese and all, and now I was gonna get a chance to show the Toreador that I could be all cultured and stuff, and show the Ventrue that I wasn't stupid or nothin'. If I was lucky, maybe even Adonis would notice.
Ever since the last party, things'd been goin' kinda rough. That Tremere wouldn't stop bloodin' on me, and it was gettin' worse. Lotsa times I'd sweat, throw up real bad, or just bleed from my nose and mouth. My head hurt, sometimes my stomach too, and now I was seein' things, scary things, and I'd just pass out. But that wasn't the top of it, worst was that it was gettin' harder to think straight, ya know? I felt like I was walkin' around in a fog or somethin'.
Anyway, I went out to Goodwill and got some fancy-ass clothes. I mean, if I was gonna be cultured, I should at least look like it. It felt weird though, 'cause I wasn't wearin' none of my chains or leather braces or even my shades, but I guess I looked all slick. Man, for all this, Adonis better say somethin', 'cause I ain't dressin' like this all the time! Still though, it wasn't that bad, and I got goin' on my way over to Nora's house.
It was a nice place, and she said hey yo and stuff to everyone when they came in. That Navy Ventrue was there, and so was Rydia and Aiden. There was also this guy named Cletis who was dressed like somethin' outta 'Dukes of Hazard' or 'In the Heat of the Night'. He talked just like guys in the South, in fact, he was from Texas. It was good, 'cause he spit tobacco on the floor and then Jade went off on him and he apologized, but you could tell that he didn't care. Cool, another person who didn't take to highly to Toreador telling them how to live and stuff.
Like, the whole city was at this party, but the only other Brujah were Zane and Vince, so I guess Dylan, Reese, and Ryan were gonna come later. I saw Iris, that Gangrel who's always real nice to me, and Starline and Lazarus were there too. I didn't see no Tremere, not even Gustav, but then, that could be a bad thing 'cause they could be up to somthin'. Pretty soon Adonis called us all in a big room to talk.
He said like welcome to the party bein' had by the new Ventrue, this is Elysium and all, and hand in your weapons. See, I wasn't packin' or nothin' 'cause with my new outfit I didn't have no where to hide my gun. Some other stuff got said, but I stopped payin' attention. For some reason it was gettin' really hard for me to pay attention to anythin', and I felt like I was thinkin' like a little kid. Then, I saw that Jade was watchin' me, so I made like I'd been listenin' to Adonis the whole time.
Everyone scattered around to say hey and what's up and all, but I just stayed put where I was and started readin' the video game magazine that was on the table. People were askin' me how I was feelin' and was I better, and I told them that Tremere still wasn't leavin' me alone. How come no one would ever believe me about it? I mean, they could see what was happening to me, why didn't anyone do anythin'?
All of the sudden the Navy Ventrue started lookin' at me funny. "Pardon me, but are you quite all right?"
"Huh?"
"Your face...you're bleeding."
He was right, I was sweating real bad on my face, and the blood started to run down my cheeks. I wiped some off and held out my hand. "See? You see what those fuckin' Tremere're doin' to me?"
"Calm down, dear," Starline said, takin' the hem of her gypsy skirt and wipin' the blood off my face.
"Man, when Dylan an' Reese an' Ryan get here, I'm gonna tell 'em 'bout this and we're gonna do somethin' this time!"
She sat back, all surprised and stuff. "Didn't you hear? Ryan's dead."
"What?!?"
"Yeah."
"Oh man! I gotta tell Zane!"
I raced outta the room and found Zane talkin' to someone. Yeah, I know I was trying to be all sorts of polite and things, but this was somethin' important and I didn't have no time to be good.
"Zane, Zane!"
"Yes, Raven, what do you need?" Man, sometimes I wish I could be as slick as him.
"S-starline told me that Ryan's dead!"
He nodded all grim-like. "Yes, that is true. Dylan and Reese are, at this moment, on a road-trip in mourning for our brother."
"But how, why? I mean, how did he die? Who killed him?"
"I can tell you no more than this," Zane sighed, "he is gone. Ask no further questions."
"But Dylan and Reese?"
"Say nothing more of them now, nor when they return, if they return."
"What? Why aren't they coming back? Damnit Zane, I don't understand!"
"Raven! Listen to me, I cannot explain all of this to you, just trust me, trust that I would not deceive you."
"Oh, um, yeah...ok."
I wandered outside to find Vince. That all just didn't make sense, I mean, how come Zane, Reese, and Dylan knew about Ryan bein' dead, but they didn't tell me nothin'? And how come Starline knew? She's a Gangrel, not a Brujah! But more than anythin', how come Dylan and Reese didn't take me with them on their road-trip? I liked Ryan too, ya know, so why did they leave me behind in Swarthmore? I guess maybe they thought I was too stupid or somethin', 'cause I kinda guessed that Dylan don't think too much of me. That's a fuckin' low feelin', when your own clan dicks ya over.
Vince was sittin' under one of the trees talkin' with some new guys, but he looked up when I came over. "Hey Raven, what's up?"
"Yo, did you hear? Ryan's dead, man!"
"What? No kiddin'?"
"Naw! And Reese and Dylan took off...without us!"
Vince rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that's just like them. I bet they're headin' west out to California."
"What makes ya say that?"
He shrugged. "I hear stuff, ya know?"
Out west, California, there could only be one place they were headin' and that hadda be Los Angeles. Aw fuck! They don't got no idea what it's like out there, why didn't they bring me? I'd lived in that hell-hole for six years, I could've told 'em all they needed to know. Man, Zane had some answering to do.
"Hey, did you know that Dylan and Reese went to California?"
Zane looked 'round then pulled me into an empty room. "Are you trying to get them killed?"
"Huh?"
"Those two are in enough trouble without everyone around here knowing that they went to an Anarch free-state. Please say nothing else!"
"But Zane, they could be in real trouble out there!"
The elder put his hand on my shoulder. "Raven, listen to me. They are Brujah and Gangrel; they'll be able to look after themselves. Dylan and Reese are strong, don't fear for them."
"Ok, if you say so, I trust you, Zane."
Starline was sittin' out on the porch, so went out there to talk with her. See, I had a whole lotta questions 'bout how she was all knowin' some of this stuff.
"Um, Starline, how come you knew all 'bout Ryan bein' dead?"
She smiled all sneak-like. "A little cat told me."
Huh, a cat? Oh yeah, she was a Gangrel and they can do that kind of thing. But how did the cat know though? I wish that I could talk to that cat, I'd have a lotta things that I'd want to know. Hey, wait a minute, I could ask Rydia! I bet she'd help me find that cat. She was sittin' the stairs when I came over.
"Hi Raven, how are you feeling?"
"Um, I'm ok. Did you find out more about the Tremere who's bloodin' on me?"
"Well, I took a look at that blood sample, but, um, I still need to talk with Gustav about what he found."
"Rydia, can you talk to cats?"
"Um...I guess, I never tried it before."
I explained 'bout what Starline told me, and Rydia said that if I could find a cat, that she'd try to talk to her. It woulda been a good idea too, but then Nora said that I couldn't bring no animals in her house. Fuck. This was gonna be harder than I thought. Cats are smart, ya know, so maybe they heard from a Gangrel, but then how come all these people knew and I didn't? I hadda go outside an' think 'bout it.
Under this tree it was all slick and nice, so I just sat there and watched stuff. Everyone was talkin' and whisperin' with each other, and it made me feel like maybe I should be out there and be bein' all devious. I guess that's all Kindred are good for. All of the sudden, there was this woman sittin' next to me, guess she must've been invisible somewhere. She was real pretty, and there was this thing 'bout her, like she was shinin' or somethin'.
"You are Raven?"
"Yup, who wants to know?"
She smiled, and it made the whole part under the tree feel warm and safe. "Call me a friend, an old friend."
"Ok....." I was confused, I'd never had no friend what looked like her. Maybe she was thinkin' that I was someone else.
"I know that you're feeling poorly, and I wish with all my soul that there was something I could do to help you. Promise me that you'll be brave, however, and strong. Your road has been a long and tenuous one, and I pray that your rest will be peaceful."
"Huh? What're you talkin' 'bout?"
But the woman only smiled again. "Don't worry, everything is understood and explained in time. Know that you are loved, young Raven Galver of Brujah, by more people then you could ever imagine." She stood up and started to walk away.
"Hey, I don't understand! Who are you? Where did you come from?"
"I have many names, though while I was here, they liked to call me Catherine." Then, she was gone.
K...that was weird. Now there were a whole chunk-load of people all woofin' about, so I went inside 'cause all of this was makin' me feel a bit nervous, but it's not like I was 'fraid or nothin'! Man, there was like no one around, 'cept for Rydia sittin' on the stairs again, and Aiden and her ghoul hangin' 'round. They were cool, but always worryin' and thinkin' that everyone and their sire was after 'em.
"Hey yo, you guys. What's up?"
Aiden just shrugged, and her ghoul hid behind her. That girl had somethin' wrong with her that she couldn't talk, but Rydia looked up.
"Hey Raven, why are you dressed like that?"
I looked down at my new duds. "Well, last time everyone was all like, 'Raven's a punk and she's stupid and a loser', so I don't want no one to be thinkin' or sayin' that this time."
"But do you really think that people will change their opinion of you if you're dressed differently? If they like you then they like you, what you wear or how you act won't make a difference."
"Yeah, but maybe if Adonis sees me all like this, well, then..."
Rydia rolled her eyes. "What does he know, he's just a Toreador. Dress and act how you want to, not how you think other people want to."
Hmm, that kinda made sense when I thought about it, but I knew that if I didn't do what all everyone else did, then everybody would be snubbin' me all the time.
"I guess, but see, it's like this, if they think that I'm all respectable and stuff, then maybe they'll pay attention and believe me when I tell 'em 'bout that Tremere."
She shrugged. "Well, if that's your motive, good luck."
"You know what?"
"Hmm?"
"I wish I could talk all polite and proper like Zane. He's a poet, ya know, so he's real smart."
"Raven, how you talk doesn't indicate how intelligent you are."
"Hey, I know! You're a doctor, right? You could teach me some cool scientific words, so then I could say them when everyone's around, and they'd think I was all that and stuff!"
"Well, what words do you want to know?"
"Um, anything!"
"Ok...how about 'Erlenmeyer Flask'? Or here, 'graduated cylinder' or 'meniscus curve'. You could even use 'deoxiribose nucleac acid'."
"Yeah, those are great! Thanks, Rydia!"
On account of 'cause everyone was outside, that's where I went to use my new scientific words. Let's see Jade call me trash now! Some people were sittin' 'round a table, so I sat down there too. All them Nosferatu were talkin', so I decided to join on in the conversation.
"So, what you guys think of this party? Me, I'm havin' myself a genetic time."
"Really? Hmm, a 'genetic' time, huh?"
"Yeah. At first I thought that I left my graduated cylinder back at my haven, but I didn't."
"Um, ok." That asshole Nosferatu got this look on his face. "Hey, Raven, do you like hunting?"
"You bet, man!"
"I as well fancy hunting. In fact, you could probably catch a few snipes up here."
Huh? "Cool dude, but um, I don't want ya to think that I'm all stupid and stuff, but what's a snipe?"
He grinned, and looked at this other guy and nodded. "A snipe is a large insect who's carcass can sell for as much as two grand. Usually you'll find them in heavily forested areas, that is, if you can keep up with them."
"Hey! There's woods near here! I bet I could catch one, I've got Celerity ya know!"
Man, that sounded like a great idea, and I saw Zane, Vince, Rydia, and Iris on the other side of the yard, they'd probably want to go huntin' with me. There's been this whole meetin' of important people goin' on in the field behind the house, and Zane had probably just gotten out from that. Sometimes I wish I was an important person too.
"Hey you guys, ya wanna go with me on a snipe hunt?" Zane looked up.
"Raven, there is no such creature as a snipe."
"Yeah hon, who told you that?" Iris asked.
"Mark, that Nosferatu. He told me that I could get at least two grand for a snipe, and I can move all sorts of fast. I bettcha I could catch one!"
Zane came over and put his hand on my shoulder. "My dear, he lied to you. Rydia, you're a Gangrel, and your kind are indeed learned in the genus of animals; do snipes exist?"
"No. They're just giving you the run-around, kid. I'm going to go talk to that Nosse, because he shouldn't be messing around with Brujah who don't know any better."
Rydia and Iris went off to talk somewhere, and when I looked over, Zane and Vince were just lookin' at each other. I was 'bout to say somethin' but then Zane said that he was usin' a mind power to find things out in secret from Vince. That was kinda cool, but it was also really scary too, I mean, people shouldn't be able to do stuff like that. What if that Tremere had those powers and could mess with my mind and blood on me? Finally they started talkin' out-loud like.
"But Zane, how could they think that I said that? I wasn't even here then, it's just everyone spreadin' rumors 'bout me. You can't believe that, man!" Vince was real mad now, I guess that secret meetin' was 'bout him.
Zane started walkin' back to the house, and we two followed. "Vincent, one thing that you must understand about Cainites is that we are never what we seem. Of course people are spreading falsehoods in your name, for the other clans do not think highly of us. Do you see Raven here?" He reached over and touched my cheek. Man, Zane's so slick.
"Our Raven has been trying so hard tonight to play the game the others do. She's tried to dress, speak, and act in their manner. To some degree, we all must do that, but I warn you, be careful. I can only protect you so far."
"Yeah! Think 'bout it, Vince, no one believes me 'bout the Tremere 'cause they think that I'm stupid. See, I'm Brujah, but that doesn't mean I'm all ignorant, but Jade an' all think so. Dylan and Reese didn't take me with 'em 'cause I'm a girl, but I still play the game same as all the rest. We gotta, man, or else we're gonna get stepped on." I hadda say what I did, Brujah stick together.
"Yeah, well, I'm gonna take off for the night, no sense stayin' 'round here if everyone's gonna be out to get me." So, that was it for Vince that night, and he went home.
CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW FOR PART TWO OF 'FORGONE CONCLUSIONS'