My beloved Chihuahua, Benny, (10 years old/2008) was recently diagnosed with an enlarged heart more than double it's size and fluid in his lungs. I was told he may have only weeks to live.

The good Lord has been keeping him alive and I've learned so so much about what to do when grief grabs hold of your heart. I must confess that I didn't take it like a champ. Quite the contrary, I sobbed like a baby. But finally, I realized I was allowing myself to be far too negative. So I decided to examine the truth.

"Benny is still alive, still breathing", and he even sometimes plays "catch the tiger". But this brush with death is bringing me to a new perspective of how to look at death, especially the death of someone so close to your heart as your dear pet. When this happens, you're looking death square in the eye and you dare not blink first.

When I think about death, though, I am forced to think about life. Death, after all, is part of the laws of this our earthly plane. There's no getting around it. The good news is, it's not an "End". Those of us who've experienced that Other Side, know this very well, and the better news is, it's a wonderful, new beginning.

I was watching Benny just now and thinking that I should just be thankful right now for every minute he's alive. And later on, when he's further "alived" by God and taken to a better world, that I should be thankful that I have an angel waiting for me. I shouldn't weep over my dear butterfly's lost caccoon. It would sadden my little Benny, to see me sobbing and grieving. I don't think he would be able to understand it. Because, as for him, he'd be happy and light. He'd be pain free and joyous, but then he'd see me freaking out and that must then create a conflict for him, he who loves me dearly. I mean, if we believe in a life hereafter, which I am convinced exists, then it's logical that they are no longer bound by this blind state we now live in. They see us and they love us still and they most likely would choose to stay with us if we are grieving for them so strongly.

So I'm realizing that I need to see the bright side of this "shadow of death". "For God is with me." I don't need to fear it for my dog and I certainly don't fear for my self. I know It's real. There is true love and it is endless and eternal. It is stronger even than death, that short "pipeline" that gets us through this life and into the next one.

An angel has touched my life. The amazing thing is, that the encounter was not for a moment, as some phantom that comes and goes and seems miraculous, but I've had 10 wonderful, love-filled, enchanted years with a little dog whose greatest happiness is to be with me.

How can I be sad, when a soul as marvelous as that, is chosen to live on the other side of the rainbow and will greet me when I arrive at a little bit later date? Why should I be sad about that?

As Benny looks up at me, sometimes weakly, sometimes lively, then weak again, then excited, then weak, my emotions are being worked on to stay on an even keel. However, I can't lean on my own strength. It isn't there. So I trust in the strength of Someone whose strength is endless.

My Ben, I thank God you are here right now. Thank you for staying with me a little longer on this rough path. When I see your that wonderful tail wag as I walk in the door, I thank God for the blessing to see those loving eyes one more time. And the happiest time is yet to come when we will never be apart again, But....

How could I not miss you? You've shown me that True Love exists and never ever dies. How could I not want to see you every day for all of my life and into forever? How could I not want to be with you? You've been my best friend. Finally, I know what that really means. You've taught me to be a friend.

You gave me your all your love and then some and now, you're tired. If I love you, I'll let you rest. I'll let that wonderful head lay down one last time and fall into a long restful sleep, without pain and filled with joy and fun doggy things to do, till we meet again Up There.

I'll meet you on the other side of the mists. Out of the shadows and into the Springtime of Love. I'll see you waiting for me, wagging your tail and running towards me as you've always done here on earth and just for me. Adoringly, your earth Mom, Jan

A final thought If you find out that your beloved angel is on his or her way Home, take those last minutes, hours, or days to shower him with a well-deserved love. So that when he gets to the Other Side you can know your angel knows he's loved on this side. You will meet again.

If your beloved pet dies suddenly and unexpectedly, then you can rest assured that he's now closer to you than ever, and in a far better place, still aware of your love, for you're hearts are always connected. Of course you'll cry, but remember: he's no longer in pain. He's playing and running and leaping. He's not alone. He's joyous and in Heaven with all the other doggie angels waiting There for their masters to follow them the rest of the Way.

You will meet again and again and again and again. You will always, always meet again. Even as the tears well up, I know that we are not apart.