Congratulations! You have been purchased for a wondrous price.

God gives you an owner's manual, known as the Bible, and a lifetime warranty against wear,
tear and damage. Totally refundable after a lifetime of use, for a newer, pristine, glowing model.

See the Chief mechanic, name is Jesus, for free lubrication by the Blood of the Lamb,
available 24/7/365.

There is a constant Internal Diagnostic's Program running called "The Holy Ghost".
Follow the owner's manual guideline for application and use. The manufacturer guarantees that He will replace any damaged, non-functioning or missing parts FREE of Charge.

This is a the labor of Love and the belief in the goodness of His product that God makes this Lifetime Warranty available to all, at NO charge.

No matter who you are or where you are, you can call God,
toll-free at I -A-M -I-N -P-R-A-Y-E-R and receive this Lifetime Warranty and/or maintaince.

God has representatives, known as Angels and Christly Laborers, standing by in all locations and He will personally talk to you and answer any of your questions, concerns and complaints. He loves to hear all of your Positive Comments/Feedback, too.