Gary Gene Ford

Look into the PAST

by Gary G. Ford

August 11, 1998

I look into the past!
Because I have paused
To ponder
the twisted
the reckless
tumult
Of my life...
The many things -
could I have
done
better?

I see all again
As today...

There is my grandmother!...
Still Alive and Vigorous
And my other grandmother too!
With whom an unnecessary barrier
Had formed from hatred
By my mother
Of my father...

And many other things I now can see -
I could not help then the wrong...
Yes, I handled them all wrong...

May I regret?
The Pangs of Sorrow!...

What I have missed,
In my ignorance,
I cannot rescue...

These errors
and
failures
Of Self...

I must not make again!

Washed as a seed
On an ocean of life's beach
I took root
and grew as straight as I could.

Against an utterly immense
Range of possibilities
I have been
Like every small seed
washed up
And yet I still have life
And they who depend on me...

May I not fail again!

More of Gary Gene Ford's writing can be found at Stephen Goodfellow's site.