You Might Be in a Texas Church if...
The doors are never locked.
The Call to Worship is “Y’all come on in!”
The Preacher says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering and five guys stand up.
The restrooms are outside.
Opening day of deer hunting season is recognized as an official church holiday.
A member requests to be buried in his four-wheel drive truck because, “I ain’t ever been in a hole it couldn’t get me out of”.
In the annual stewardship drive there is at least one pledge of “two calves”.
Never in its entire 100-year history has one of its pastors had to buy any meat or vegetables.
Prayers regarding the weather are a standard part of every worship service.
A singing group is known as the “OK Chorale”.
The church directory doesn’t have last names.
The pastor wears boots.
The only time people lock their cars in the parking lot is during the summer and then only so their neighbors can’t leave them a bag of squash.
There is a special fund-raiser for a new septic tank.
Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable.
You miss worship one Sunday morning and by 2 O’clock that afternoon you have had a dozen calls inquiring about your health.
High notes on the organ sets dogs in the parking lot to howling.
People wonder, when Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish.
The final words of the benediction are, “Y’all come
back now, ya hear!”
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