Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference. "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals".
Today the pastor will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy"
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands".
Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the water'. The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus'.
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a terrible experience".
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet should come forward and do so.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.
The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
Sermon Outline: I. Delineate your fear, II. Disown your fear, III. Displace your rear
Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.
If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a
checkand drip in the collection basket.
Nov. 11: An evening of boweling at Lincoln Country Club.
Women's Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will
give the medication.
Karen's beautiful solo: "It is Well with my Solo"
If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.
We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds
around the church building and the rector.
Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford"
Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water baptized on the table in
Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight.
Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
The Advent Retreat will be held in the lover level of St. Mary's
The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church board.
As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing.
Fifth Sinday is Lent.
Thank you dead friends.
Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
Lent is that period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter.
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits.
For the word of God is quick and powerful...piercing even to the
dividing asunder of soup and spirit.
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peach to men.
Definition: Persons who are shut-in during bath weather.
Bring one dozen coolies wrapped for Christmas.
Volunteers are needed to spit up food.
Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess
We pray that our people will jumble themselves.
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