Austin, Tx. --- Barbara Cheney (no relation to the senator and vice-presidential nominee) has a problem with her fair city of Austin, TX and unlike many other citizens in the overpopulated town, her problems do not have to do with the frequent losses of the Longhorns.
No, Barbara has a much smellier problem...the homeless. “They’re stinky!” said Mrs. Cheney. “It’s like their just not taking baths, these people!”
The area in question is the spaces underneath I-35, close to the University of Texas Campus. A safehaven from the harsh temperatures of Texas, I-35 frequently houses several homelss men and women as they wander from street corner to street corner collecting cardboard and loose change. The change they will use to buy crackers. The carboard they will use to gather more change for crackers.
“The other day I was walking into my favorite HEB to buy some Diet Coke and Salmon when one of those stinky guys came up to me and asked for a quarter. First of all, he’s making the HEB less attractive. Second, if I had an extra quarter to spare I’d buy more Salmon.” said Mrs. Cheney.
When asked what she thinks the City of Austin could do to reslove the smelly population in the town, Mrs. Cheney replied, “We could gather them up, hose ‘em down and let the Longhorns practice against them. Lord knows they need the practice.”