October 16- Los Angeles---The Fox Network has signed the deal to a new kind of presidential debate quickly following the heels of it’s successful “Sexiest Bachelor in America” contest. What will be known as the “Sexiest Presidential Candidate in America” contest is slated to be televised a week before Super Tuesday.
In the first of it’s kind, the new Fox show will pit Al Gore’s tall and bulky frame against the old shriveled bodies of Dubyah Bush, Pat Buchannon, and Ralph Nader. Judges will be asked to rate the candidates in a number of categories including swimsuit, leisure wear, and a revamped talent portion of the show.
“We just know it’s going to be a success.” said Fox executive Charles Lanburger. “We’re looking for Gore to be the heavy favorite since he’s the only one who looks healthy, but the women will be the overall judge and more than a few think Nader’s pretty damned sexy.”
“There’ll be no despite over who won this debate.” said Gore of the impending contest. When asked what he was planning for the talent portion of the show, the Vice President said, “I am the undisputed champion of the limbo. I will finally show the world how low I can go.”
“The ladies haven’t seen my nipples yet,” said Governor Bush of his body. “They’re so damned sharp and pointy that my friends at Yale used to tease me and ask me to cut our coke with them.”
Pat Buchannon is said to be preparing an all star rifle demonstration for the show and Ralph Nader has been working on his physique. “Gore won’t be the only one with pecks.” Nader said between reps on his Soloflex.
“The Sexiest Presidential Candidate in America” will be hosted by Barbara Streisand and tickets for the show will be set at $2,500 each. All proceeds will go toward the winner’s political party of choice.
I can't wait to see Dubyah neked!