Richard Hatch can survive the now raped and soiled little island of the coast of Borneo, but can he survive the brutal world of network sweeps?
Richard Hatch, the 38 year old corporate communications consultant from Road Island, and the winner of the CBS Network’s Blockbuster “Survivor”, signed a contract yesterday to host his own syndicated talk show that will be seen on Fox in the “Only Drunkards Are Awake” timeslot.
Show producers are sketchy as to what kind of audience the show will draw because Mr. Hatch refuses to wear clothes. “If I’m going to do this thing, then I’m going to do it my way.” says Mr. Hatch. “I’ll go down in history as the only talk show host to interview quests in my Birthday Suit. I will be strategically placing my ‘Survivor’ Torch in front of me when I’m doing my opening monologue. But after that’s said and done, I’m going buff baby.”
Expected to draw the thousands of stoners who have grown tired of Jerry Springer, “Rich” will be borrowing ideas and show structure from many of the late night guru’s of today. “We think it will come across as a David Letterman meets Jay Leno meets Conan meets Kilbourn meets naked white homosexual.” says one “Rich” producer.
Slated for the first week of shows are Richard Simmons, Dick Gephardt, Dick Chaney, Little Richard, and Dr. Ruth. The show is scheduled to premiere sometime in October.